


The NU Files: An Unexpected Connection

by neuronerd11



Series: The NU Files [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Blood Magic, Co-workers, Dark Magic, Dead People, Department of Mysteries, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Kidnapping, Mystery, Original Character(s), Poltergeists, Portraits, Runes, Slow Burn, Smoking, Stalking, Unspeakable Hermione Granger, Unspeakable Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-01-14 20:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 54,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18483817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuronerd11/pseuds/neuronerd11
Summary: Hermione Granger has finally finished her initial training for the Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries! She is moving on to her assigned division where she will get in-depth field training and become acquainted with her partner. Unspeakable Agent Granger is sent to the depths of the Ministry to work on a division she had never heard of, the NU Files, which covers the seemingly impossible topics of Extraterrestrials to previously uncharacterized Magical creatures. However, the young Gryffindor learned at an early age that the seemingly impossible was entirely probable and common place in the magical world. Hermione never anticipated her assignment would bring a familiar face, enormous intellectual challenges, and romantic feelings for someone she never expected.We are dealing with a slow burn here folks! Not as slow as some but not as fast as others. But don't worry, there will eventually be smut! ;)





	1. Reintroductions

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or anything in Rowling’s lovely universe. If I did, the story would have ended with our favorite guy getting a happy ending. :) This series is also loosely similar to the X Files in that it's a small division within the government that handles the stranger cases for the Department of Mysteries, I don’t own anything related to that universe either.
> 
> A/N: This story will be the first part in a series for which I’m currently working out the full details. I decided to go ahead and post this first chapter to get thoughts and suggestions from you, the reader. I have the main idea worked out for this one but I am open to suggestions for situations and plot lines in this story and the ones that will follow. Updates will probably be every two weeks as I am putting a lot of thought and effort into each one.
> 
> The ship we are sailing in for this adventure is eventually the SS/HG, if you don’t like that ship, best stay in the harbor, matey. If this is your ship of dreams, as it is mine, climb aboard, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. 
> 
> Please do read the tags for potentially triggering situations in the story
> 
> Shoutout to my amazing beta, Jeannie, who listens to my crazy ideas and fixes my stories so I don’t embarrass myself too much.

“Had to have high, high hopes for a living  
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing  
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision  
Always had high, high hopes  
Had to have high, high hopes for a living  
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling  
I was gonna be that one in a million  
Always had high, high hopes  
Mama said  
It's uphill for oddities  
The stranger crusaders  
Ain't ever wannabes  
The weird and the novelties  
Don't ever change  
We wanted everything, wanted everything”  
-Panic! at the Disco, High Hopes

 

Newly cleared, Unspeakable Agent Hermione Granger stormed out of her training supervisor’s office. Her Unspeakable robes flaring out behind her as she walked, or rather stomped towards the elevator. Hermione was furious, she jabbed her finger at the elevator call button and snarled at the doors when they sprang open. She barged in, spun around, and hit the button to the lowest level of the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. “Of all the places to be sent for my first assignment! ‘It was based on your personality assessment and your superior intelligence, Not just anyone within our department can handle these cases.’” Hermione mumbled to herself, mocking her supervisor in a poor impersonation. “I heard them complaining that I am overzealous! One of the instructors called me ‘difficult and sure to be a nightmare for whoever I am assigned to!’” She exclaimed, jabbing the button for her desired floor again for good measure in her ire. 

The doors opened on a quiet hallway deep below the ground. It was cool and dimly light, the white paint peeling from the walls in some places to reveal grey paint beneath. The floors were dark grey tile that were in need of a thorough cleaning. Hermione stomped off the elevator, her temper not cooled by her descent into these depths. “I know what they are really up to, just trying to shove me off into a corner, or dungeon from the looks of it, so I don’t make waves with radical ideas like trying to make them treat Muggles like equal people!” Hermione ranted aloud, forgetting that she had been sent down there to meet who would be her field training agent and prospective partner. Suddenly the door a couple feet ahead on her left opened and a flurry of robes exited. This storm of fabric turned towards her and stepped under one of the sparingly spaced lights to reveal Pro-...Unspeakable Agent Severus Snape.

Hermione’s hand flew to her mouth in surprise with a small gasp, she knew he worked as an Unspeakable Agent but she didn’t know which office specifically. “There you are Agent Granger, now I will have you know, there will be no shouting in this office.” Agent Snape said sternly, looking around her and up the hallway. “There is no one else with you? Then with whom were you just conversing?!”

Hermione blushed and said “I, well I was talking to myself. I was not anticipating being assigned to your office, sir. I was merely, um, speculating on why this may have occurred.” 

Agent Snape cocked an eyebrow, then smirked. “I am sure there are many reasons for your assignment to this particular office, a few of them are probably the same as mine. Now, no dawdling, we have a surplus of work and a definite lack of time.” Snape said before spinning on his heel and marching back into his office. Hermione stood in the hallway for a second, deep in thought over what had just transpired, before hastily following him into the office. 

It was a small office, on the left, two desks were crammed in facing opposing walls, two people sitting at them would be nearly back-to-back. Against the wall to the right were two sets of three-drawered filing cabinets. High above each of the desks were small windows that magically showed the weather outside, it was a beautiful sunny day, seeming to mock Hermione as she gazed at the illusion of sunshine so far from feeling it on her skin. The faded white walls were covered in several posters depicting the aftermath of different Dark magics as well as a large poster containing the Lochness monster, Big Foot, El Chupacabra, a large Faerie, a Grim, and a few other Muggle mythical creatures playing poker. 

Directly above the filing cabinets was a large framed portrait of two older women that bore a striking resemblance to one another, who both happened to be sleeping at the moment while seated at desks significantly older but positioned much the same as the desks behind Hermione. They were wearing what appeared to be an older style of the Unspeakable robes. They both wore glasses and had long dark brown hair. The women resembled each other greatly with high cheekbones and full lips but the woman on the left had a slightly larger, more rounded nose and more narrow jawline than the one on the right. The woman on the right had thinner, more curly hair while the one on the left had thick waves. There was a small golden plaque beneath them that Hermione couldn’t quite read at that distance. 

Snape pulled out one of the desk chairs and pushed it more in the center of the room. He then pulled out his wand and conjured a white expanse of sheet in front of the filing cabinets. He waved his wand and a very old projector floated to him, Snape conjured a table of the appropriate height and the projector settled onto it. Snape turned to Hermione and rolled his eyes before stating in a mildly annoyed tone, “Well, have a seat, we haven’t got all day.”

Hermione jumped, pulled from her observations of the room, and walked over to the chair, she promptly gathered her robes around her and sat down. Snape tapped his wand on the projector and the light switched on. It projected the words “The N.U. Files” across the room onto the white screen. Snape stared piercingly at Hermione as he began to speak. 

“The Nasty Unsolved Files, more commonly called the NU Files is exactly as the title suggests. These are the cases that those nitwits over in the Magical Law Enforcement Department can’t seem to solve. Although, I taught the majority of them and they couldn’t find the answer to a simple case any better than they could find their own arse with both hands and a map.” 

At this, Hermione had to stifle a giggle, who knew Snape had a sense of humor?! Agent Snape narrowed his eyes at her before flipping to the next slide, which depicted the early days of the ministry, and continuing. 

“This department is nearly as old as the ministry itself. It started as simply a place to store cases they didn’t have a clue of how to solve. Until a case came along that personally impacted a family member of the Minister of Magic at the time.” Snape said, changing the slide to an image of the Minister for Magic to whom he was referring. 

“As a result, the Department of Mysteries assigned two Unspeakable agents to work the case. They eventually solved it and demonstrated that these cases can actually be sorted out by brilliant minds. So it was decided that this division be formed and kept staffed with at least one exceptional mind at all times. In the Department of Mysteries, brilliance is not uncommon so they select for people who...think differently from everyone else, at least that’s how they put it to me.” Agent Snape said with a smirk. “Although, I think you may be on to something when you said they were, how did you put it? ‘Shoving you off in a dungeon somewhere?’ I never much minded being given a dungeon in which to bury myself in challenging work, I hope you come to view it that way as well.” 

Hermione blushed, he clearly heard more of her ranting than she initially thought and complimented her intelligence, sort of. Snape cleared his throat and changed the slide again, this time it held an outline of six topics. 

“Our cases are divided up into six categories: Muggle mysteries, Previously uncharacterized Magical Creatures, Unusual/unexplainable murders, Unauthorized Dark magics, Unregistered Potions, and Extraterrestrial interactions/incidences. These are exactly what they sound like, the filing cabinets against the wall behind this screen are linked up to the storage of such cases through this floor. Each drawer represents a category and the cases are placed within the drawer in alphabetical order. Once placed inside and the drawer is shut, the folder is magically relocated to its proper place within the larger storage facilities.” Snape tapped the projector as he spoke and it moved to the next slide which showed a large room filled with much larger filing cabinets. 

“To access all files of a certain type, you pull out your wand and tap the filing cabinets in this room three times and state the key words of what you are looking for very clearly. When you are done listing the keywords, tap the cabinets twice. You can then open each drawer and find all of the files from that category that contain the keywords you searched. This system was developed by our two founding Agents I mentioned earlier, they are in the portrait above the cabinets. They are two brilliant women named Caroline and Celeste Snoddy, the Snoddy sisters have a wicked sense of humor to match their intelligence. They may be cheeky but I have come to rely on their insights when faced with a particularly trying case. I suggest you do the same.” Agent Snape said, he changed the slide again to one which read “Any Questions?”

“As I have never known you to hold back when it comes to learning anything new, please save any burning questions you may have about the NU Files or anything else. I have prepared a stack of reading materials to orient you to the work.” Snape stated, he then walked over to his desk and picked up a large binder full of papers. He handed it to Hermione then tapped the cover before speaking. 

“This contains copies of some key cases and gives a more comprehensive history of the department. Once you read this, if you have additional questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability.” Agent Snape said as he began putting away the projector and returning the room to its previous state. 

Hermione stood and returned her chair to the desk that was clearly intended for her. She sat down with her reading materials and flipped the cover open. She was filled with excitement, she had so many questions and this type of work did seem like exactly the sort of challenge she had been craving since the war. Agent Hermione Granger, never one to avoid doing her homework properly, began reading with a quill, ink, and parchment ready to take notes and write down the questions she would undoubtedly end up having. 

_This collection of historical information and copies of case files were assembled by Unspeakable Agent Severus Snape in the year 2000 as a means to orient new Unspeakable Agents to the work conducted by those assigned to the NU Files. These first few pages summarize the content available within the subsequent pages._

__

The NU Files have existed and housed unsolved cases since the Magical Law Enforcement was founded by the very first Minister for Magic Ulick Gamp in 1710 when he realized the Ministry required such a department. Gamp had needed an organized means by which to enforce his laws and prevent the exposure of their world. 

__

The staffed NU Files division of the Department of Mysteries was founded in 1776 by Minister for Magic Maximilian Crowdy. His daughter, Anne Crowdy who was 15 years old at the time, was taken by a pure-blood extremist group whose plans to attack Muggles were thwarted by his actions. While Crowdy had eight other children, Anne was taken because she was allegedly a Squib. His children never attended Hogwarts because he had been vocally opposed to the pure-blood rhetoric of extremist groups and several threats on their safety were made before any of them were of age to attend. He had sent them to Muggle schools and hired private tutors for their magical education. At the time of the kidnapping, the tutors had all come under investigation but each of them came out clean. 

__

Anne Crowdy was never found by the Aurors and they didn’t generate any new leads within a year of her disappearance, leading to the staffing of the NU Files by Unspeakable Agents. Two Unspeakable Agents, Caroline and Celeste Snoddy (sisters), were assigned to the investigation. They managed to discover that one of Anne Crowdy’s teachers in the Muggle school had been replaced with a Polyjuiced Dark wizard from one the pure-blood extremist groups that called themselves “The Sons of Merlin” or SOM for short. Members of SOM claimed they were able to trace their own magical lineage to the wizard himself either directly or indirectly. Whether the claim is true or not, they are a hate group whose aim is to rid the entirety of Magical England of those they believe do not belong. The SOM also believe that true native British peoples were all magical and those living on the associated isles without magical capabilities were invaders to the motherland. Armed with this knowledge, the Snoddy sisters managed to locate Anne Crowdy and return her to her family. Having achieved a huge success for the Minister for Magic and proven their worth in tackling seemingly impossible cases, Caroline and Celeste were permanently assigned to run the NU Files. 

__

Unfortunately, the SOM was not dismantled by this investigation. The organization was run such that only the leader knew all of the members. Any given member only knew the identity of two other members at most. Many attempts to infiltrate this organization over the years led to the death and/or disappearance of the Agent undertaking this feat. The last attempt was made in 1912 following the suspicious accidental death of Minister for Magic Venusia Crickerly, which involved a strange gardening accident with a Mandrake. It is largely believed that the SOM is no longer an active pure-blood extremist group, however, the NU Files has no evidence to indicate this is true so any cases related to the SOM are still considered in progress. 

__

Minister for Magic Maximilian Crowdy was mysteriously killed in his office, a case that remains unsolved in the department to this day. His death has fueled conspiracy theories among the Wizarding community for centuries. Many of which point to the Sons of Merlin as the culprit while evidence of such involvement is severely lacking. 

__

There are three cases which are considered major successes for the NU Files and resulted in the Department of Mysteries receiving some needed positive press. The first would be the case previously summarized regarding Anne Crowdy. 

__

The second involves the characterization of Nifflers. It took the recruitment of Newt Scamander from the Beast division as a magical beast consultant to determine that the outbreak of robberies in Inverness over the course of the year 1925 were in fact due to one particularly mischievous creature. The Unspeakable Agents from the NU Files at the time had staked out several locations across the city and determined that it must be a magical creature and not a ghost as the imbeciles from the MLE had reported. 

__

Mr. Scamander had spent some time with goblins the previous year and discovered they had magical beasts as yet unidentified by the Ministry that sought gold for their goblin owners underground. He began to suspect the involvement of this creature upon discovering a group of goblins had been in the nearby mountains ascertaining the merits of mining in the region. His ingenious way with magical creatures is legendary and the utilization of his skills resulted in the safe capture of the miscreant. The story was kept under wraps until the publication of Mr. Scamander’s famous text “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” in 1927. The Department of Mysteries released the story simultaneous with the book’s release, much to Mr. Scamander’s distaste. While it was a bit underhanded, the publicity move secured additional funding for the Department and general approval of their work from the public. 

__

The third case many do not attribute to the NU Files but to the Department of Mysteries as a whole. The Department has successfully driven the name of this division underground such that the average person within the magical world would have no idea it exists. This is viewed as the best means to keep the work confidential and limit the number of conspiracy theories regarding the Ministry. 

__

_This uncredited case is the capture of Bellatrix Lestrange, Rudolphus Lestrange, and Barty Crouch, Jr. for the detainment and torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom. At this time during the tentative close of the First Wizarding War, many within the Ministry could not be trusted and as such investigations were fragmented and noncohesive. This case was cracked open by intel provided by the double agent Severus Snape. He had known that Bellatrix was not convinced the infamous prophecy regarding who would be responsible for the downfall of Tom Riddle, or more commonly known as Lord Voldemort, referred Harry Potter. Madam Lestrange thought it was intended to mean Neville Longbottom who also met the criteria put forth in the prophecy and was a pure-blood as well. However, the vast majority of the Ministry did not trust Snape at his word or that of Dumbledore’s that Snape could be trusted and did not follow his advice. But Unspeakable Agents in the NU Files had been assigned the case as the sudden discovery of so many Death Eaters in the ranks of the Department of Mysteries and the Ministry as a whole had left the Ministry with a surplus of investigations and a shortage of employees up to the task. The two Agents at the time had also been members of the Order of the Phoenix and as such trusted any and all advice that Snape provided them._

Talking on the other side of the office pulled Hermione from her immersion in the report. 

“Caroline, wake up! Severus brought in that new agent he was telling us about!” The woman on the right hand side of the portrait said while elbowing her sister awake. The other woman shot her sister an angry look while yawning and stretching. 

“Really Celeste, couldn’t staring at the fresh meat have waited a bit longer? We spent so much time last night in our other portrait watching “Gladiator” I barely got any sleep. Although, watching Russell Crowe is always worthwhile.” Caroline had started grumbling but ended speaking thoughtfully before turning her attention towards Hermione. She huffed and said. “Honestly Severus, we told you not to pick someone who would make us jealous. What are we going to do with you? First you refuse to take off your shirt for us, as if that is asking for much, then you go and hire an attractive woman to rub in our faces…” 

Agent Snape interrupted Caroline’s rant. “Now ladies, I had to pick the best person to carry out the work of the NU Files and Agent Granger was the very best in the last two years worth of training classes.” He said raising his hands placatingly, one of which held reading glasses, then continued, pitching his voice to a nearly sinful silky baritone. “Besides, you know I only have eyes for you two.” With that last bit he gave them a roguish wink and placed his hands on the arms of his desk chair. 

Celeste nudged her sister and said “Did you see that?! He winked at me!” Caroline made a rather rude noise with her mouth and retorted. 

“He most certainly did not, he winked at me.” Caroline reached up and adjusted her bosom while she continued. “Why would he wink at you when he has all of this ample femininity to take in?” 

Celeste rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to argue back but Hermione never heard it as Snape picked up his wand and shot a Muffliato directly at the portrait. Now all they heard was a light buzzing noise. The Snoddy sisters noticed they had been effectively silenced and shot mildly annoyed looks at Agent Snape before huffing out of their frame. 

The dark haired wizard chuckled and turned to Agent Granger before saying “They hate it when I do that. Those women are too much sometimes, their comments border on sexual harassment but they are truly brilliant. They’re probably headed off to one of their other portraits hanging at one of their descendants' houses. Apparently they love to spend their time outside of this office harassing the men that married into their family and watching television, their female descendants have all gone on to hold very promising careers in whatever field they apply themselves.”

Hermione had watched the whole exchange with her mouth hanging slightly agape, appalled that anyone would talk to Severus Snape in such an objectifying way and that he would ever wink roguishly while simultaneously flirting. She quickly closed it and replied “Right, well I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Although, I think calling it borderline sexual harassment is rather generous.”

He cocked a single eyebrow at her while saying “Who’s to say I find the attention unwanted? Precious few women have looked on me with a quarter of their favor. If I could find a way into that painting…”

Agent Granger blushed and interrupted him “I’ll just finish my reading then.” Hermione quickly turned back to her desk, _well that was mortifying,_ she thought, _Professor Snape actually flirting with someone. Who knew he even had the capacity to do that…although that pitch of his voice slid down my spine like a hot knife through butter._ Hermione gave her head a slight shake and determinedly threw herself back into reading the material before her. 

Agent Snape looked mildly amused, having accomplished his goal of making her uncomfortable with his joke, before turning back to his own work and quietly saying “See that you do, Agent Granger.” 

Although, the dark haired wizard was only half joking. He didn’t mind the attention from the Snoddys and there had been days when he had wanted to take them up on some of their innuendos, he was only a man of flesh and blood after all and while there had been a line of ladies interested in a shag, it wasn’t because they found him attractive. It was more so for the ability to say they had shagged a former Death Eater. 

_Not that I’ll ever be anything more than the dungeon bat to Miss Granger,_ he thought as he put his reading glasses back on and picked up his quill to continue taking notes from a rather old text, _She probably just sees her old professor, not a person with a life, let alone a sex drive. Not that I want the little know-it-all to show any interest either, she probably has a list of rules and regulations for intimate affairs,_ he thought. Severus Snape bit back a chuckle at the thought of Agent Granger reading some strange man a list of her rules for amorous activities. _No,_ he thought, _I’m definitely not interested in that!_


	2. Infernal Questioning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The time between this chapter and the next will be more than two weeks, closer to three. My beta and I are super busy with life things right now. But never fear, it is in the works! I love hearing from y’all, even if its just a one word response! 😊

“Feeling like a freak on a leash  
Feeling like I have no release  
How many times have I felt diseased  
Nothing in my life is free, is free”  
-Korn, Freak on a Leash

As Hermione Granger, finally out of her Unspeakable robes and in her flannel pajamas, slowly sank into her favorite spot on the couch in her living room, she sighed contentedly. It was a well broken in soft dark brown couch with several burgundy throw pillows and a thick blanket folded on the back. The couch sat on a burgundy area rug, surrounded on three sides by two accent tables and a coffee table, all three made of pine that matched the wooden floors. Each accent table was topped with a lamp. Bookshelves filled to near capacity lined two walls while the wall directly across from her couch held a fireplace and her television. The young witch leaned forward to the coffee table and picked up her glass of wine and the television remote. Normally she wasn’t one to watch a lot of television but it was Friday night and she felt she had earned it. Having finally been assigned to a department and officially begun her field training, she felt accomplished. While she had felt some initial trepidation about being sent to the NU Files, everything in the orientation readings had her excited about the challenging work the assignment surely had in store. 

Crookshanks emerged from the kitchen in her apartment after finishing his dinner. The aging cat leapt up next to her and settled in as she turned on the television. Hermione distractedly flipped through the channels, sipping her wine in the other hand. She was really reflecting on her first day in her assigned department, it had been very...interesting, that was the best way to describe it. Who would have thought she would be assigned to work with Professor, no, Agent Snape?! Although, he hadn’t been nearly as bad as he was when he had been her potions professor. Granted, it had really only been a half day spent with him since her assignment meeting had been after lunch. Hearing him flirt and hint at having a sex life had shocked her, but upon further reflection it was not with disgust or disbelief that he would have a sex life, she was more so surprised that he would act in such a way in front of her. Hermione felt a chill run down her spine when she remembered the tone of voice he had used with the Snoddy sisters’ portrait. During lectures at Hogwarts, the young Gryffindor had enjoyed his teaching voice, but hearing it used in a nearly sinful way was not something she had been prepared for today. Suddenly, a show caught her attention, she paused on the channel as the whistling paired with that haunting piano in the theme song continued. 

Hermione smirked at the screen, how appropriate, perhaps an “X-Files” marathon was exactly what she needed. She eyed the notebook from work on her coffee table, but she had firmly promised herself she would not read any more today. It would keep until tomorrow, she had already read most of it anyway. Her attention was drawn back to the screen as David Duchovny aka Special Agent Fox Mulder strolled into view. Hermione snorted into her wine glass, while she could certainly see where her new work had a lot of parallels with the show, her coworker was certainly no Mulder. And if she was honest with herself, Gillian Anderson aka Special Agent Dana Scully was no more similar to her than Snape was to Mulder. 

With that thought, the new Unspeakable agent wondered if Snape had ever watched the show. Or if he even owned a television. Hermione wondered what he might be doing currently, probably grumbling to all and sundry about the unfortunate addition to his department. Or maybe he was simply at home reading with a drink in hand. She shrugged and turned her thoughts back to the screen, she was trying to remember if this was an episode with the cigarette smoking man or not.  


* * *

Hermione had no idea how close she was to guessing what Snape was doing with his Friday night. Or how similar it was to her Friday night plans. He was grumbling about his new assignment and he did have a drink in his hand but he wasn’t grumbling to a person. “Bloody know-it-all, I put together all of the information she could need about the department’s history and some example cases but I saw her scribbling away on that parchment. I’ll probably come in on Monday to a novel’s worth of written questions. It’s more background than I got.” Severus complained, tossing back the remaining contents of his glass. The grumpy wizard had also changed from his Unspeakable robes into more comfortable dark grey lounge pants and a faded Black Sabbath shirt.

He reached over for the bottle of fire whiskey to refill his drink when a loud squawk interrupted his movements. “That’s enough.” It came from the African Grey parrot perched on the back of his leather lounge chair. 

Snape shot the bird a foul look before snatching up the bottle and pouring a few fingers worth in his glass anyway. “Well you’re a bloody know-it-all too, arsehole.” Snape stated, taking a sip of his drink and sighing. 

“That’s not my name!” The bird squawked with apparent indignation. He flapped his wings about Snape’s head as the wizard stretched an arm up and tried to shoo him from the back of his chair. He flew off and landed on the adjacent leather chair, set out for the very few guests Snape ever entertained. Snape chuckled and regarded the admittedly, beautiful bird Minerva had gifted him with when he “retired” from teaching. 

“Yes, I know, you hate being called anything other than your real name, D.B.” He said, shaking his head as he recalled the note Minerva had included with the bird. 

_Dear Severus,_

__

_Congratulations on your retirement from teaching! Since you refused my many offers to throw you a retirement party, I am forcing this gift on you. I was going to buy you an owl since you would no longer have access to the ones here at school. But when I heard the name of this fellow along with the story of how he acquired it, I knew this was the gift for you. After all, birds of a feather should flock together, right?_

_Regards,  
Minerva_

_P.S. His name is Dungeon Bat because when they found him in his previous owner’s basement, they initially thought he was a bat. They don’t know what his previous name was because he prefers his new name._

Upon receiving the bird, Snape had initially tried to return him but to his dismay it seemed the blasted bird was already attached to him. So he reached a deal with him to go by D.B. because he refused to call his pet Dungeon Bat. Gazing into the fireplace, Snape reflected on his decision to request Agent Granger be assigned to the NU Files. She truly was the most promising person he had seen come through since being assigned to that department himself. The cases were so involved they really needed two agents to handle them. He definitely could have used her help last year with all of the reports he had coming in regarding Muggle technology. The potions master may be a half-blood but he was very removed from his Muggle heritage at this point in his life. His eyes drifted over his sitting room to rest on his new computer. 

After the war, he had decided to use his Order of Merlin money to completely renovate his house at Spinner’s End before moving in full time, he had to admit the place looked fantastic. The dark wizard had unleashed Narcissa Malfoy on the place to furnish and decorate with some very firm ground rules regarding colors selections. She had kept within his limits, the sitting room was all dark mahogany wood, including the floors, fireplace, accent tables, and overfilled bookshelves. The ceiling and parts of the walls visible were a rich slate color. There was a large, dark green area rug under his leather chairs that was quite a luxurious texture. Snape enjoyed digging his toes into the rug, not that he would admit it. Above his head, a mahogany ceiling fan slowly revolved.

He had also stood firm on having modern upgrades, much to Narcissa’s disappointment. One of those modern items he hadn’t gotten until the last month or so was a computer, which he was slowly learning how to use. His work had provided him with more knowledge than he had anticipated about the inner workings of computers but the actual interactions and functions still provided him with a challenge. Perhaps Miss Granger knew a bit about them. 

“She’s going to be a real pain in my arse but I’ll appreciate her help. Miss Granger always was brilliant.” The former professor said to his bird, then paused, his glass held in front of his mouth poised to take a sip. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“It’ll cost ya.” Said his feathery companion, clicking his beak at his owner. Snape sipped his drink, then snorted and looked at the bird. 

“Oh really? And what is the price of your silence?” Snape asked, mildly amused. 

“Better grapes.” He replied promptly, ruffling his feathers importantly. 

Snape sneered at him, “There is nothing wrong with the grapes I bought you. Just what are ‘better grapes?’”

“Red not white. Cut in half.” Squawked the feathery menace. Snape shook his head. 

“I’ll get you red grapes but I’m not cutting them up for you. I’d hate for you to get fat and lazy because you don’t work for your food.” He said firmly. 

D.B. cocked his head to the side and studied Snape for a moment. “Deal. Red grapes. I won’t tell.”

Snape smirked and thought not that he’ll ever get the opportunity, Granger will never set foot in my house. He set the glass down on a side table and reached for his remote control, a new television had definitely been on his list of upgrades. 

“So, what should we watch this evening, D.B.?” Snape said, turning on the television and flipping through the channels. 

* * *

Monday morning saw Agent Granger arriving five minutes after Agent Snape, which was still ten minutes earlier than necessary. Snape glanced up at her before grunting “Morning.”

Hermione, hoping to develop a good working relationship with her coworker, smiled warmly and said “Good morning, Agent Snape. How was your weekend?” 

“Blissfully quiet.” He snapped, not looking up from his desk again. It was a lie really, D.B. had intruded on the quiet moments of his weekend. But Agent Granger didn’t need to know that. Hermione tried not to flinch at his response, she managed to only blink a bit forcefully. She sighed and walked over to her desk, setting her bag down on top. 

“Severus! Don’t be such an arse!” Celeste exclaimed within her frame, making Hermione jump in surprise. “You may hate mornings but Agent Granger was merely being polite. Honestly, I should like to bend you over that desk.”

Snape looked up at the last comment and smirked. “Ladies, always making promises you can’t keep.” He said before setting down his quill next to a cup of steaming tea and spinning around in his chair to face a slightly red-faced Hermione. The former professor quirked an eyebrow at her. “I trust you had not forgotten that I am an arse at times. I also trust that you have an unreasonable number of questions for me regarding Merlin only knows what.”

Hermione huffed and reached into her bag for her notes. The brave witch pulled out her personal notebook and turned a few pages before folding it back and sitting in her desk chair facing Snape. “Actually, I don’t have an unreasonable number. I think you’ll find them all perfectly acceptable and really necessary for me to do my job properly.” She said, haughtily. “And I think it’s generous to say you’re only an arse sometimes.”

Snape snorted at her and crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ll just see about the reasonableness of your questions. Let’s get on with it so we can get some work done today.” He replied, ignoring the fact that she had called him an arse. 

Not one to be easily deterred, Hermione pulled out a quill and ink, ready to make notes of his answers. “Now, the reading materials you provided, thank you by the way, showed examples of cases and gave me a comprehensive history of the department. But I would like to better understand the other types of cases for which there were no examples in my reading.”

Agent Snape nodded curtly, that was actually reasonable, although he would never tell her that. He actually should have anticipated her desire for that information, but it had been a while since he had dealt with her...enthusiasm for knowledge. The wizard laced his fingers together and placed them in his lap before beginning. 

“Well I’ll tell you about the most recent Muggle mystery that I personally dealt with last year. Frankly, I could have used some assistance but it resolved itself in the end.” Snape stated, watching the new agent scribbling away in her notebook. He rolled his eyes at her. “Honestly, Agent Granger. I haven’t even begun to tell you what the case is and you are frantically writing already.”

Hermione paused to look up at him and glare. “I’m titling this section of my notes and writing other pertinent information about what this case is before you begin to tell me about it. I assumed you weren’t going to be willing to repeat any of this to me in the future.” She said, looking back down and writing a few more words. “I was trying to spare both of us from needing to repeat this informative discussion.”

Snape had not thought of that and shifted his gaze downward to adjust an imaginary wrinkle in his robes. “Fine, carry on then. As I was saying, this occurred last year, 1999. I started having reports forwarded to me from various different departments with claims that the Muggles were gearing up for the end of the world because of something they referred to as ‘Y2K.’”

Hermione attempted to keep a straight face upon hearing exactly what this case had involved. She kept her head ducked down to ensure her expression was hidden. Snape continued explaining, completely unaware that his coworker was so amused. 

“So naturally, I began following up on these reports. Apparently, select groups of Muggles everywhere were stockpiling food and bracing themselves for some catastrophe related to their technology entering the new millennium. It was fascinating that not all of them were convinced this would happen, it was truly a spectrum of levels of belief. They certainly had some higher ups within the Ministry convinced of this. I believe chief among was the Minister himself and Arthur Weasley. Rather than investigate the validity of this concern for catastrophe, Kingsley and Arthur wanted me to determine the severity of this event to devise a plan to deal with the mass hysteria they were convinced would ensue at midnight on December 31st.” Snape paused here to sniff indignantly and turn back to his desk for his cup of tea. He turned back, took a sip and continued. 

“I firmly believed it was nonsense, but I dutifully investigated what was supposedly going to happen. The Muggles believed that the computers would simply stop working, they called it the ‘Millenium Bug’ or ‘Year 2000 problem.’ It had something to do with the way years were programmed, they left off the first two digits for the sake of the expense to store data.” Snape paused to regard Agent Granger. She quickly scribbled out the remaining notes from his last statement and looked up. For reasons best known only to her, Snape noticed she was smirking slightly. He mentally shrugged and carried on. 

“Naturally, governments and all manner of financial institutions in the Muggle world threw millions of dollars at this problem because they rely heavily on this technology. Some implemented a solution that involved saving dates as four digits instead of two, something they really should have done in the first place.” He sneered before mumbling “Dunderheads.”

Hermione fully grinned to herself, head down over the parchment, finding it highly amusing to hear her former professor annoyed with someone other than herself. 

“There were other solutions as well, I will admit that the details of such solutions went beyond my understanding of how computers work. However, I found through my research that these solutions should work and that the side effects of this problem would not be the catastrophe that many believed it would. Arthur Weasley was actually convinced when I told him. I believe his precise words were ‘Bless them! They really can think up some of the wildest things!’” Snape said with a sneer. He took a sip of tea and carried on, no longer looking at Agent Granger since that smirk seemed to have taken up permanent residence on her face. 

“The Minister was less convinced that it would be a smooth transition into the new millennium. I spent several weeks devising a plan for what to do in the event the computers in the Muggle world all crashed. I never realized just how serious of a situation that could actually be for them. When I went off to Hogwarts, computers were ghastly large contraptions used mainly for mathematics, we learned about them in that context. I hadn’t realized just how far that technology had come or how reliant the Muggle financial world is on it.” The wizard said, contemplatively. 

“Surely someone here at the Ministry could have told you all about the importance of computers in the Muggle world? I certainly know and I know there was no small number of people concerned about Y2K.” Agent Granger said, with a smirk on her face but a mildly puzzled wrinkled brow. 

Snape sneered before answering. “It might have escaped your notice but there are very few Muggleborns working at the Ministry. And the half-bloods, such as myself, are very out of touch with the Muggle world. Can you think of any Muggleborns, besides yourself, who chose to pursue a career at the Ministry?” 

Hermione opened her mouth to reply but then closed it and turned her gaze away with a deep set scowl plastered across her face. She thought hard for a minute, surely there is someone! I can’t possibly be the only one!

“Don’t hurt yourself, Agent Granger.” Agent Snape said, smirking. “I would hate to file the paperwork or suffer through the explanations if you gave yourself an aneurysm from the effort you are putting into this. The answer is no one, other than you. There is still a deep seated mistrust of the Ministry among Muggleborns because of their treatment during the last two wars in our world. I really don’t blame them, why should they be clamoring to work for a government who, not so long ago, sought to snap their wands and deny them access to our world?”

The stunned witch merely nodded, internally reeling because she hadn’t noticed the lack of her fellow Muggleborns in government work. Looking down, the young Gryffindor made several notes about this new tidbit of information. There must be something I can do to remedy this, perhaps a recruiting event or something... Her thoughts were interrupted by Agent Snape speaking to her. 

“Actually, there are still many within our world with biases in regards to Muggles and Muggleborns. Kingsley’s attitude that Muggles didn’t have the entire Y2K affair in their control would be a good example. He was ready to sweep in and save them when they would, in his mind, inevitably fail to save themselves. Kingsley isn’t a terrible Minister but he is still a pure blood wizard and as such he is biased. I think that really we shouldn’t even have cases in our department dedicated to Muggle affairs. It’s their affairs, if they really need us for something their leaders know the appropriate channels.” Snape finally looked Agent Granger in the eyes once he finished speaking. He surveyed her expression before cocking an eyebrow at her. “Have I truly rendered the famous Hermione Granger speechless?”

She ignored his sarcastic remark, he had truly said much worse to her in the past. Instead she asked, “Why are you telling me this? That bit about biases towards Muggleborns and the lack of them in government.”

Snape continued to look at her for a moment before bringing a hand up to rub his chin. “First of all, you should say us, not them. Everybody knows the most famous Muggleborn in our world right now, no one will confuse you for a half-blood or pure blood. You should think of yourself as part of that group. Second, I think it is important to not only understand the work you will be doing but the political motivations and the environment in which it will be done. I would be remiss if I did not point this out to you since it directly impacts you and as your coworker, it influences me as well.” The dark wizard paused, seeming to choose his next words carefully. He turned his eyes away from hers and leaned his head down enough that his hair partly obscured his face before he continued. 

“I am a half-blood, this is widely known, not that I face a comparable level of bias but I rank between you and the pure bloods. I am also a former Death Eater that the Ministry headhunted to work in this department, a decision that was not met with sweeping approval from every corner of our world. In fact, there are many who would see me in Azkaban or have me Kissed by a dementor. Between the two of us, everything that comes out of this office will be placed under intense scrutiny. As such, every conclusion and every decision will face a rather thorough questioning. I know, because it already does. I also know this is unusual because Caroline and Celeste told me they have never seen the work coming out of this office so carefully scrutinized. With the exception of the years during which the Minister for Magic was Radolphus Lestrange but he attempted to shutdown down the Department of Mysteries all together.” Snape glanced at the clock on his desk and turned to fully see the impact this revelation may have had on his former student. 

“So, our efforts during the war count for nothing to these people? Just who do they think are?! They think some fancy lineage means something about a person’s abilities?! That’s absolute rubbish!” Hermione exclaimed, attempting to throw her quill down in frustration but instead managing to simply blot a moderate of ink across the sleeve of her robe. 

Snape had to quickly employ his Occlumency shields so as not to laugh in the face of the obviously upset Gryffindor before him. She reached in her pocket, cheeks tinged pink, and removed her wand to clean the ink from her robes. He continued speaking to cover her embarrassment 

“Of course, they acknowledged us with award money and an Order of Merlin. That doesn’t change the fact that the vast majority of pure bloods are prejudiced. It’s why so many of them had such a strong reaction to the rhetoric the Dark Lord spewed everywhere. They recognized their own unacceptable thoughts personified and as a result hated him for it. Haven’t you felt yourself struggling not to dislike people who are so much like yourself? Human beings see their own negative attributes amplified when they notice them in others.” Here the potions master paused, his eyes traveling over her face. “Now it is time for my mid morning break, we can continue addressing your questions afterwards. Or, and I highly encourage this next option, you can explore the files to answer your remaining questions about our work. I’m working on an urgent case, the file for which I will provide you once you feel adequately versed in the department to begin the work. The sooner this infernal questioning is over, the sooner we can address that case.”

With that, her former potions professor rose from his chair smoothly and strolled out of the room. His robes billowed out behind him as he briefly touched his breast pocket, checking for the items he kept hidden there while on the Ministry premises. Hermione watched him leave, only half noticing his behavior. Her mind was still sorting out everything he had told her. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a sigh across the room. 

“I know how you feel Agent Granger, you hate to see him go but love to watch him leave. Am I right?” Caroline said, winking at the young witch seated across the room. Celeste rolled her eyes as her sister and chimed in. 

“Right, she couldn’t possibly be digesting all of the information Severus just threw at her. She definitely had to be perving on her coworker.” 

Caroline cocked an eyebrow at her sister and replied. “A bright witch like her? I bet she can think about more than one thing at a time. Besides, I do admire the way he walks and billows about. Where do you reckon he learned to do that?” 

Hermione burst out laughing at the conversation taking place across the room. She was beginning to see why Snape seemed to like them, based on everything she had read about them from the history and case files, they were brilliant and all of the interactions she had witnessed showed them to be quite funny. Hermione cleared her throat and decided to toss out an idea. “I think it comes natural for him to stalk, a bit like a panther. But the billowing? I personally think he just likes it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a secret Star Wars fan, he is a bit reminiscent of Darth Vader.”

Caroline and Celeste stopped their discussion to cock their heads and grin at her. Hermione was struck by just how similar they looked, though she knew they weren’t twins. “Now that’s a bit more like it, Agent Granger!” Caroline said. Celeste nodded before saying “Yes, I think you’ll get along just fine here. Ha! He does kind of flap about like Darth Vader!”


	3. Rude Awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is a new chapter finally! I apologize for taking so long, it was a combination of science, consulting work, and a last minute binge of Game of Thrones just in time for the finale that caused this delay. However, the story is fully outlined and I don’t foresee any more lengthy delays like this one. 
> 
> A couple of things before you dive into this chapter, when I had the inspiration for this series, I went digging through the Death Eaters for a good one to center this first book around. I landed on the one you will read about in a moment. This person immediately captured my attention with the amount of power they have and how little they are mentioned in the actual original texts from our favorite lady. I have since read a story featuring this person and I am even more intrigued by this character. The other thing, I love Michael Jackson’s music and chose this song for this chapter because of that. I think he has done some awful things, but I was raised on his music and well, we all live with moral contradictions, don’t we?
> 
> Shout out to my Beta, Jeannie, for always helping me to make my stories better than I thought was possible!
> 
> Quick reminder that I own none of the things, except for a slowly decreasing amount of student loan debt.

“Annie are you okay, you okay, you okay, Annie?  
You’ve been hit by  
You’ve been struck by  
A smooth criminal”  
\- Michael Jackson, Smooth Criminal

Darkness and silence reigned over Hermione’s bedroom, it was 4AM, not a time she typically saw short of illness or an emergency. The latter of the two would be responsible for the abrupt call to the land of consciousness the snoozing witch was soon to receive. It was a simple bedroom, a queen sized bed covered with a handmade quilt of red and gold, two bedside tables holding lamps, and a dresser against one wall. A lump of a person sprawled out under the quilt was topped with a mass of hair that covered the young woman’s face as it rested on the pillow. A panther Patronus soundlessly leapt through the windowpane into her bedroom before padding over to her sleeping form. The magnificent creature sat at the end of her bed, seeming to study her for a moment before it’s mouth opened and Agent Snape’s voice rolled forth. 

“Agent Granger, there has been an emergency and the NU files have been called out to investigate, as such our presence is required. Please be ready to leave via side-along apparition in 20 minutes, I will be at your door.” 

The witch in question remained undisturbed in her slumber, the only hint that she may have been reached at some level was a brief twitch. The panther switched its tail in annoyance, raising a furry eyebrow in an uncanny resemblance to its caster. Having gone unacknowledged, the Patronus stood, prowled back to the window, and leapt out, presumably to report her negligence. Crookshanks had been awakened, and was put out by the presence of another feline, albeit an ethereal one, in his domain. He walked over and began pawing at his mistress, knowing she needed to get up. Hermione grunted at him and rolled away from his attempts to wake her.

Already annoyed at being woken up and by a much larger, more elegant animal, Crookshanks daintily descended from the bed and promptly began meowing as loud as he could. After five minutes of making a fuss, a pillow came flying at his furry form. Moving faster than his appearance would seem to allow, the half-kneazle barely made it out of the feathery missile’s path. He stood staring maliciously at the pillow intended to silence his helpful cries and twitched his tail in annoyance. His escape had not been dignified and had caused the scrunching of a rug that refused to give his paws proper purchase to scamper away. He looked back up at the bed, seeming to plan his next best attempt to wake his mistress in time for the deep voiced wizard coming for her. 

Having exhausted the easiest the routes to gain her attention, Crookshanks settled on the standby that always garnered her focus. He walked over to her dresser and leapt up on top. Reaching out a paw, he began to bat items off her dresser one by one to the floor. First, her hair brush clattered to the floor, then her perfume bottle (thankfully plastic), followed by a deodorant stick, then a box filled with bobby pins fell, cascading and scattering pins across the floor in a multitude of directions. The angry, wild-haired witch growled as she sat up in bed, grabbed her wand and nonverbally turned on the lights. Peering around for the source of her annoyance, her eyes fell on Crookshanks, still standing on her dresser. Her eyes narrowed at him but before she could begin berating him for his appalling behavior, a knock came at her front door. Hermione swung her head in the direction of the door, the knock sounded again, more urgently this time. 

Swinging her legs from the bed and summoning a bathrobe to wrap around her pajama-clad body, she hastened to the door. Who on earth would come to my door at this hour?! Hermione looked through the peephole and was startled by the presence of her coworker on the other side. She quickly unlocked and opened the door to his sneering face, a solitary eyebrow lifting as he examined her state of undress. 

“What are you doing here, Agent Snape?” Hermione asked, pulling her bathrobe closer to her body as he brought his gaze back up to meet hers. 

Snape sneered as he replied, “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m here because we have been called in for an urgent matter regarding the case I mentioned a few days ago. I know you haven’t been briefed on it yet but we are needed to address an incident the Aurors think is related. I can explain in broad strokes while we walk to…”

Hermione had been glaring at him over the “Don’t flatter yourself comment” but this was quickly replaced with concern and curiosity until finally, she interrupted him, “Come in and brief me while I get dressed.”

Agent Snape’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and a look of shock wrapped itself around his features as Hermione smirked at him and took a step back to allow him in. He quickly recovered and took a step inside while saying with a smirk of his own, “Are you trying to get me into your bedroom to proposition me, Agent Granger? Prospective bed partners are usually treated to a meal of some kind before one lures them into such a situation. Although I guess you are bit inexperienced...”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Agent Snape. I meant brief me through the closed door of my bedroom. You can sit in the living room.” Hermione said with a slight blush darkening her pillow-creased face as she hadn’t expected him to turn the joke on her. She shut the front door more firmly than necessary behind her former professor. 

They moved away from her tiny foyer, past the door to the still dark kitchen and into her living room. Hermione turned on the lights then waved a hand at the sofa and started for her bedroom. Snape began talking to her as he carefully arranged himself and his robes on her sofa, setting his messenger bag down on the floor next to the sofa. 

“I sent a Patronus to wake you up some 15 minutes ago. It returned to me and reported that you never even stirred when he was speaking to you.” 

Hermione paused in the doorway and turned back to him, her cheeks tinged pink again. “Sorry, I’m a heavy sleeper. We should find a better way to communicate if these early morning incidents are going to be a common occurrence.”

Turning back towards her bedroom, she stepped inside and pushed the door only partially closed to ease their ability to hear one another. 

“Indeed, especially if I am going to have to traipse out here to this Muggle part of town every time something comes up. I don’t object to Muggles or their neighborhoods but it does make for tricky, discrete apparition if you aren’t very familiar with the area.” Snape answered, looking around the room at her bookshelves. 

Meanwhile, Hermione was pulling on undergarments and feeling like she was in some sort of dream where it was normal to be nude and talking to the sarcastic man on her sofa. She scowled before she said, “Well you contacting me wouldn’t be an issue if they just let me connect my fireplace to the Floo network! The Department could inform me directly and without fear of my receiving their message!”

“Do let me know when you spot the flying pig that should precede this upcoming dramatic shift in Ministry attitudes towards accommodating their employees’ needs, won’t you? The Department of Transportation is never going to allow a Muggle apartment to be connected to their precious Floo network. Although the true concern behind that is beyond me, the Floo network can’t be accessed or activated by non-magical people.” Snape said absentmindedly, he slid off the sofa and began reading the titles on her shelves. He found them to be meticulously organized by topic and author name, much to his approval. 

The young witch snatched up her Unspeakable robes and pulled them over her head. With her wand in her teeth, she grabbed her messy tresses and began the arduous task of pulling them into a bun on her head. Removing one hand from her head to pull her wand from her teeth and magically stuck her hair in place, Hermione called out to Snape, “Could you tell me about the reason we are discussing means of contact in the first place, please?” 

Pulled from his perusal of her literature, Snape turned back for the sofa, a book in hand. He sat and began explaining to his partner. “At 2AM, the Aurors office received a Floo call from the Ministry emergency dispatcher’s office about a break-in and assault at Hogwarts. They sent out the Aurors on duty at the time to get a handle on the situation and find the culprit responsible. Upon arrival, they discovered the person who had been attacked was Mr. Filch. Madam Pomfrey had seen to his immediate medical needs and based on what they could get out of him and the portraits, the person responsible was former Death Eater Antonin Dolohov.” 

This statement was followed immediately by a loud thump from the other side of the bedroom door. Snape’s eyes snapped up from the book he was flipping through, he closed it and stood. 

“Are you alright in there Miss-Agent Granger?” the concerned wizard asked, furrowing his brow.

The door swung open and Granger came out wearing a false, tight-lipped smile and rubbing her banged shin. “Of course, I’m peachy. So, do we know what he was after and why on Earth this would concern the NU Files?” 

“We haven’t the foggiest why he was there but it definitely concerns our department. After he escaped custody, the circumstances of which are dodgy since he killed the Aurors responsible for his remaining in custody, his recapture was assigned to the NU Files. This is the priority case I mentioned a few days ago. The higher ups thought a former Death Eater would be the best to catch another former Death Eater, I certainly know Dolohov better than their Aurors do. There is also some concern that Dolohov escaped for a purpose.” Snape paused and examined the emotions flickering across Granger’s face. “There is a tidbit that I haven’t shared with the Department because I feared they would make this case more difficult than it already is, but there were rumors among the Inner Circle of Death Eaters that Dolohov had some secret Dark artifact that allowed him to be immortal.”

Hermione felt like her eyes would fall out of her head if they grew any wider, she shuddered involuntarily at the thought of an immortal Dolohov. She wrapped her arms around herself as she asked, “So what is this artifact? Are you thinking it’s a horcrux?”

Making a mental note of her reaction, Snape shrugged and walked over to return her book to its appropriate place on her bookshelf. “It might be a horcrux, or something more sinister that doesn’t actually allow true immortality. I hope those rumors were unfounded, I have seen some of the horrors that Dark magic can produce.” 

The dark wizard turned back to his co-worker and flicked his gaze over her person before saying, “Come, Agent Granger, we need to hurry, you seem to be presentable enough to work.”

With that, he snatched up his messenger bag, promptly marched back to her front door, threw it open a bit overzealously, and stepped out into the dark. Hermione hesitated for only a moment before quickly following him out of her apartment, warding the door as she left. 

  


* * *

The sun was just beginning to rise over the countryside surrounding Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. Birds were stirring in the trees that edged the road up to the gates of Hogwarts from Hogsmeade, Auror Potter was waiting rather impatiently in his new Auror’s uniform. The former Chosen One was standing at the gates awaiting the arrival of the Mums. He was still considered a Newt in the Magical Law Enforcement Department having only completed his training six months ago so when it came down to who would get stuck with the task of escorting the Mums, Harry Potter had been the lowest ranking Auror present. His coworkers seemed to take great pleasure in the general harassment of Newts, their nickname for newly cleared Aurors. The messy haired young wizard checked his watch and sighed in frustration. They are late, he thought, maybe this is why everyone seems to hate them in the MLE.

A crack followed by the appearance of two robed figures a few yards down the road caused Potter to lift his gaze from his battered watch. When he spotted them, a mixture of happiness and trepidation crossed his face upon taking in the identity of the witch and wizard walking up to him. The young wizard settled on a small smile and extended his hand to Snape as they approached. 

“Good morning, Agent Snape, Hermione.” Potter said, shaking Snape’s hand. “I didn’t realize you two were the Mums they were sending out for this case.”

Snape curled his upper lip in a sneer as Hermione looked puzzled at her friend. “What did you just call us?” she asked.

As the young Auror opened his mouth to explain, Snape interceded and explained in a derisive tone, “Auror Potter just called you and I a term the Aurors use to refer to Unspeakables. Mums, I believe is the term of choice these days, as in ‘mum’s the word.’” 

Hermione looked affronted while Harry looked abashed with a slight reddening of his cheeks. “That’s rude, why would they do that?” Hermione asked, crossing her arms indignantly across her chest. 

“I-I-I, well you see...it’s not...not meant to be r-rude really…” Harry stuttered out before Snape broke in again. 

“Yes it is, it’s based in their own insecurities and inadequacies, of which, the Unspeakables make them keenly aware whenever we are brought in on a case.” Snape stated, matter-of-factly, “Hence, a derogatory term to refer to us, it’s their attempt to ‘put us in our place’ as they see it.”

Harry sighed and said, “I suppose when you put it like that, it is rather insulting. Sorry, this is my first case where M-...Unspeakables have been brought in.” 

Still looking mildly annoyed with her friend, Hermione rolled her eyes and said, “Just walk us up to the castle, Harry.”

With a look of relief, Harry unlocked the gates and led the way through them, then paused, holding the gate open for Snape and Hermione to walk through. As Hermione passed him, her eyes bore into his as she said, “Don’t ever call me or Agent Snape ‘Mums’ again within my hearing.” 

Walking behind her, Snape looked mildly amused at his partner’s annoyance with the Boy Who Lived to Annoy Another Day, especially as said Boy nodded vigorously in response to her reprimand. They began walking briskly up the road to the castle in silence for a minute before Snape voiced a question, “How is Mr. Filch? We were informed he was injured but not much beyond that.”

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Harry answered, “He’s in St. Mungos, they expect a full recovery. Dolohov apparently Imperiused him and Filch fought it pretty hard. In the end, Dolohov used a crude, forceful Legilimens to find out the password to the Headmistress’ office before stunning Filch and leaving him in the corridor. They are using mind restorative potions and monitoring him, those sorts of things usually don’t happen to a Squib so they want to ensure there aren’t any weird side effects.” 

“I’m glad he’s alright! Who found him?” Hermione asked, looking over at him. 

“Well, Peeves is the one who sounded the alarm. He found Mr. Filch lying in the hall after he went looking to find out why the caretaker hadn’t come to investigate the mess he was making in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.” Harry said, “I think Peeves is bored with the students away so he was luring Filch out to annoy him.”

Nodding in agreement, Snape added, “Indeed, Peeves may cause mayhem but he is fiercely protective of the castle and its occupants.”

The castle grounds were relatively quiet with the exception of the now fully awake birds and the occasional splashing from the giant squid in the Black Lake. They continued on in silence until they drew near the doors of the castle, each lost in their own thoughts regarding the case.

“Right! So we haven’t touched the Headmistress’ office since we were informed Dolohov and his recapture are your responsibility. It didn’t look like anything valuable was taken but we haven’t done much more than cast Dark spell detection charms from the doorway.” Harry said as they neared the front entrance, “I personally didn’t see the office, but it’s apparently a right mess, I don’t envy you two trying to get it sorted.” 

Upon reaching the doors, Harry took a few running steps to get ahead and open the door for Snape and Hermione. He twitched a small smile at them as he said, “This is where I leave you, I have to report to my supervisor in the Great Hall after I’ve seen the two of you up to the castle. I suspect we will be searching to ensure he isn’t hiding anywhere inside or on the grounds and doesn’t have any accomplices hidden away somewhere in the castle.” 

As Snape and Hermione walked through the doorway, they uttered their thanks to Harry. The young Auror walked off towards the Great Hall, paused, then turned back towards them and said, “Good luck, if anyone can figure this out, it's the pair of you.” 

With that, the young wizard trotted off, leaving Hermione and Snape looking at each other in the entrance hall. 

* * *

“Fuck me” Hermione whispered softly to herself as she took in the disaster that Dolohov had made of the enormous office spread out before her and her partner. The abandoned portraits of the former Headmasters and Headmistresses were skewed or knocked from the walls entirely. Parchment was strewn across the floor, ink busted from multiple bottles dripped from several surfaces onto the parchment and floor, and the majority of the books from the shelves were lying about the room as well in various orientations. 

“Not now, dear, I have a headache.” Snape said, also shifting his eyes about the room to take it all in. He noticed several magical artifacts and devices were broken or smashed, interwoven with the paper debris littering the room. Broken glass was sprinkled across the floor like horrid confetti at a party awry. 

Hermione swiveled her head at his reply and scowled at him as she said, “I think the Snoddy women have been a bad influence on you, Agent Snape.”

Snape merely turned towards his bag and reached inside of it. He pulled out a camera and looked up to find Agent Ganger glaring at him through narrowed eyes. Feigning innocence, he raised both eyebrows at her before saying, “Perhaps, although it is interesting how much nearly dying and no longer being required to teach dunderheads changes one’s appreciation for jokes and just enjoying life overall. Now, I think it's best if we photograph the entire room before we move anything, wouldn’t you agree, Agent Granger?”

Still annoyed with him, Hermione huffed and took a couple of steps back as she gestured towards the rest of the room. “Please, feel free. I’ll just twiddle my thumbs in the corner.” 

Smirking at her attitude, Snape took his bag off and handed it to her as he turned towards the scattered contents of the office. “Feel free to pout while you’re at it, I have no objection as I won’t be looking at you. I will need one of the yoga mats in there once I take enough pictures from this angle. You are welcome to use one of them as well once we start to sift through this lot.” Agent Snape said, adjusting various settings on the camera before beginning to snap photographs of the room. 

Irritation was replaced with curiosity as Hermione cautiously opened the bag to search for one of the aforementioned yoga mats. Of all the things she would have anticipated Agent Snape owning, a yoga mat was not one of them. She pulled out two mats, assuming if Snape said she could use one, there must be some meaningful application for them in the analysis of the room. 

Holding two yoga mats, Hermione was left to watch Agent Snape photograph the room from multiple angles. Under the pretense of observing his photography technique, she studied his overall appearance. He definitely looked better than he ever had as her professor. Snape was no longer rail thin, the lack of life-threatening stress had obviously done his appetite some good as he had filled out a satisfactory amount. His hair was also a bit longer and pulled back at the nape of his neck to prevent it from getting in the way of his work. The lines that used to seem permanently pressed into his face had diminished, leaving him looking much closer to his actual age than he had during his time at Hogwarts. She wondered with amusement whether the secret to his seemingly dramatic aging reversal was related to the yoga mats she was currently holding for him. 

After 15 minutes of taking pictures, Snape seemed to be satisfied. He turned with his free hand outstretched to Hermione, who handed him a yoga mat. The silent wizard handed her the camera and pulled out his wand. He swished and flicked his wand at the yoga mat as it unfurled and clearly said “Wingardium Leviosa.” 

The mat straightened out and hovered at about waist height. Snape climbed on and stretched out flat on his stomach before turning back to Hermione for the camera. He took it and tapped the yoga mat saying, “Exaudi me,” this was quickly followed with a firmly stated “Up”

Drifting up and over the mess in the room, Agent Snape began taking pictures again. Hermione watched all of this with a mildly surprised look on her face. She hadn’t thought of using such an ordinary item for applications like this. She wondered if this was his own idea or if it was standard procedure in the field. It had certainly never been mentioned in her training for the Department of Mysteries. Snape didn’t spend nearly as long taking aerial pictures. He drifted back towards her with the word “Down.”

Standing upright again, Snape reached for his bag, which Hermione hastily handed him. He placed the camera carefully back into the bag before pulling out two pairs of dragonskin gloves. The dark haired wizard extended a pair to Agent Granger, who readily accepted them. He began talking to her as he pulled his own gloves on. “These will protect our hands from anything harmful Dolohov may have planted on this crime scene in the hopes of...dissuading any pursuers from the Ministry.”

Looking mildly concerned as she pulled on her gloves, Hermione asked, “Do you really think that’s possible or are we just proceeding with an abundance of caution?”

Agent Snape glanced up at her briefly before he began digging through his bag for something. “I once saw Dolohov set up an intestine-expelling curse over a hiking path that would trigger on whoever came up the path next, simply for fun. It proved effective and deadly for the Muggle family that stumbled across it. We were only in that park briefly to meet with an informant and there was no reason to suspect we were being followed. Even if he didn’t have anyone on his tail, he might plant something exceptionally nasty because it amused him.”

Hermione paled slightly but otherwise, gave no indication that this anecdote had any effect on her. Snape continued as if he hadn’t just shared a completely horrifying story. “However, the Aurors outside this office assured us there were no hidden hexes, curses, or jinxes in this room. That leaves potions or dangerous substances an undetected possibility.”

Nodding, Hermione ensured her hands were well seated in her gloves. Snape pulled a box of plastic bags from his bag and handed it to her. “Now then, if you find something of interest, carefully place it in one of these bags. There are few things in the magical world that can penetrate Muggle plastic. I would recommend hovering over your half of the room on the extra yoga mat as you sort through the debris. I’ll take the left half of the room and you can take the right. Give a shout if you find anything you think may be relevant.” 

With that, Snape took his plastic bags and stretched out on his yoga mat. He tapped it with his wand and muttered, “Exaudi me.” 

He floated off to the left half of the room, hovering inches above the various items on the floor. Nervously, Hermione unfurled her own yoga mat, copying Snape’s phrases and movements with her own wand. Soon enough, silence dominated the room as they carefully examined the aftermath of Dolohov’s rampage in the Headmistress’ office, gliding slowly over every square inch. 

_One hour later_

The two Ministry employees were becoming increasingly frustrated with combing over the wreck on the floor. There had been a few false hopes of meaningful wreckage, these were punctuated by gasps or sharp intakes of breath followed by a heavy sigh. Hermione had thought she found a spot of blood on the floor but it was really just red ink splatter. 

“I think I found something!” exclaimed Hermione as she delicately picked up a massive, aged tome from the floor. 

Snape sped his yoga mat over at her exclamation. “Precisely what did you find, Agent Granger?” he asked, trying to keep his eagerness from his voice.

“It appears to be a book of names.” Granger said, turning the book over carefully in her gloved hands to allow them both to read the cover. It was titled Breithean draoidheil. 

“Ah, this is the book where magical births across the UK are recorded.” Snape stated as he gingerly took the book from his co-worker. “It’s only a copy, the original resides in the Department of Mysteries, where it is heavily warded. Names appear in the original version shortly after a magical child is born and named then it appears in here as well.” 

“There is a large portion of the pages torn out of it. None of the other books I’ve seen so far have been missing any pages. Tossed about and generally abused, sure, but nothing ripped out.” Hermione said, her brow furrowing in thought, “What could he be planning to do with those names?” 

Agent Snape’s eyebrows knitted together in thought as well. “I’m not entirely sure, but I doubt its anything good.”

The two Unspeakables were silent in thought for a few minutes before Snape gave his head a quick shake. “Best keep looking, hopefully he left more clues than the absence of a list of magical names.” Snape said, his face returning to its usual smooth facade as he gently slid the book into a plastic bag for further analysis away from the crime scene.

“Shouldn’t we try to warn the people on the pages he stole?” asked Agent Granger, concern etched on her face. 

“We don’t know for sure he took the pages with him, look through the loose parchment and make sure those pages are indeed missing. If he did take them, he only has their names, not their locations.” Snape said, right before his face mirrored her concern. “Although, that information is present in this room. Let’s hope he didn’t find that as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Exaudi me – comply with me – Latin  
> Breithean draoidheil – magical births – Scottish Gaelic, from Google translate, please don’t hate me if it is actually inaccurate!


	4. Innumerable Times & Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am horrible at following a schedule apparently, but here is the newest chapter!

“Birds of Hell awaiting  
With the wings on fire  
Insane old Phoenix, baby  
It's your death desire  
The birds of Hell awaiting  
With the wings on fire  
Insane old Phoenix, baby  
It's your death desire”  
-Marilyn Manson, Birds of Hell Awaiting

By lunchtime, they had given the entire room a thorough sweep, repaired all of the broken glass, and begun reassembling the various magical devices and artifacts Dolohov had smashed. There was a stack of loose parchment they had summoned and sorted through, the missing pages from the Magical Births book were not among the stack. Snape had unleashed a flurry of swear words upon this discovery, a few of which Hermione had recognized and several she had not. The room was still in too much disarray to determine if the addresses were also missing. Hermione had insisted they take a break for lunch as Snape had begun acting very...well...very much like the wizard she had remembered as her professor. 

“Fine, Agent Granger. If you feel our eating lunch takes precedent over the security of multiple magical children and their families, then let’s make an affair of it. I’ll put in an order with the house elves to bring out a roast pig for each of us.” Snape barked, jerking his dragonskin gloves off. 

Hermione rolled her eyes and threw her gloves at him. “Honestly, this is why we need to eat lunch, you are a nightmare when you’re hungry!” she exasperatedly exclaimed, “It’s only for a quick bite to eat anyway, just some sandwiches or something.”

Catching the gloves, he sneered at her and said, “Watch yourself, Granger. You’re no walk in the park either, you’ve been difficult since,...hmmm what year were you born again?”’

Afraid she may hex him if she stayed in the room much longer, Hermione stormed out of the office and down the spiral stairs, nearly running Harry over on the other side of the winged statue. Snape sniffed delicately at her exit and the statement that he was a nightmare when she really was difficult when she was hungry. He followed behind her and watched her nearly flatten the hard-to-kill Harry Potter. Potter smiled at her as she attempted a very stiff apology, the young wizard simply grinned at her. 

“It must be your lunchtime, I would recognize the Hermione hangry face anywhere.” Potter joked, recovered from his friend nearly plowing him over. 

Snape barely contained his amusement at her reaction to Potter, she practically growled at him. If he wasn’t so concerned over the missing list of names and whether Dolohov had their addresses, he might have enjoyed it more. Hermione angrily crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Auror Potter as she said, “It is everyone’s lunchtime, Harry. And Agent Snape is one of the hangriest people I have ever met.”

Potter shifted his gaze to Snape, amusement danced across his features as he said, “So, met your match for intensity then? Well, I asked Winky to bring some sandwiches to you both before I came up here. I thought Agent Snape would appreciate being spared the wrath of a ravenous Hermione.” 

Completely unperturbed by the glares from the two Unspeakables over the implication that they were alike, Harry cheerfully gestured towards the nearest classroom as he said, “I had her set up in there. Is there anything I can do to help in McGonagall’s office while you two are eating?”

They both paused in their steps towards the much needed lunch, Snape seemed to ponder asking the Auror to assist, his desire to move the investigation forward overrode his hesitancy to employ Potter’s dubious skills. “Could you manage to return the portraits to the walls? It should be a rather simple task by wand, even for you, we already repaired the glass to the frames.” Snape sneered before striding to his lunch. 

Hermione scowled after him and turned to Harry, not feeling as bad as she could have since her friend had been jokingly discussing her “hangry” demeanor and compared her to Snape. “Well, don’t expect sympathy from me, you’ve known him just as long as I have.” She said with a sniff before following her colleague to her lunch. 

Smirking at the reaction of both Unspeakable Agents, Harry turned and ascended the stairs to finally do something that he felt was remotely useful. 

* * *

The two agents ate their lunch in silence, it was nothing more than a platter of ham and turkey sandwiches with some crisps. Having skipped breakfast, it felt like one of the best meals Hermione had ever consumed. 

Eating rather absentmindedly after the first sandwich, she plunged deep into her thoughts concerning the case while eating a second. Dolohov was one of the Death Eaters she knew very little about aside from the fact he was incredibly powerful in his magical abilities, only just ranking below Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange among his fellow Death Eaters. He was also responsible for the scar across her chest and the deaths of multiple Order members during the two Wizarding Wars.Once the war was over, the Ministry had made a large show of carrying out a trial for each Death Eater individually and sentencing them to life in Azkaban, the exceptions being Snape and Draco Malfoy. Snape had been cleared by a memory left by Dumbledore clearly outlining his essential role to the war effort. Draco, on the other hand, was underage when he was forced into Voldemort’s service. He was tried as a juvenile and merely given a year of house arrest. Both were viewed as having acted under duress and the direction of powerful individuals neither of them could have openly opposed without risking their lives. Racking her brain, she could not remember any details from Dolohov’s trial, granted she had been preparing to studying for her N.E.W.T. exams. The other issue she was puzzling over was how Dolohov had managed to escape Azkaban, it wasn’t an easily accomplished feat. He must have given the Aurors the slip somehow, dementors were no longer employed at the wizarding prison. It was ruled inhumane to enhance the depressing atmosphere in which the prison was already submerged.

After two sandwiches and more than enough crisps, she dusted her hands and brought her attention back to her partner. Snape had finished eating as well and looked deep in thought seated on the top of the table across from her. He was sitting with his long legs stretched out before him and his arms thrown behind him for support, his brow was furrowed and his gaze was directed at the ceiling but the focus of his eyes seemed a hundred miles beyond it. She opened her mouth to ask him what he thought Dolohov would want with the list of names when a shout came from the direction of the Headmistress’ office. 

The haze of deep contemplation was swept from Snape’s face as he sprang from his seated position and started out the door. Hermione gathered her wits and followed suit, marveling at how sharp Snape’s reflexes remained. She ran up the stairs and found herself slamming into the surprisingly muscular back of Agent Snape who was standing in the doorway to the office, apparently frozen in place. He stood firm against her body weight, bracing against the doorframe as if he had anticipated it. 

“Ooofff! What’s happening?! Why did Harry yell?!” Hermione asked trying to get past Snape and into the room, his long body blocking her every wriggling attempt. 

“He seems to have triggered a rather Dark curse, typically referred to as the Birds of Hell, in a room the Aurors supposedly cleared as being free of such magic. If one of us were to get within reaching distance of Potter right now, Potter would die and so would the unfortunate witch or wizard attempting to help him.” Snape said, his eyes darting around the room as he effectively prevented her from entering it.

“Well we have to do something! Why are you just standing there?” she asked, as she ducked down to peer under one of his arms at Harry. 

The young wizard was suspended in mid-air, his arms and legs outstretched and a short length of rope around his neck. Sunlight was slanting in through one of the high windows, crossing Harry’s body and illuminating the dust swirling around the invisible magical tendrils holding him taut. Hermione couldn’t see his face to make out if he was being choked or not. 

“I am currently looking for the item Dolohov tied the curse to, I know the counter curse but it must be aimed at the object on which it was initially cast.” Snape replied calmly, “If you think you can enter this room and allow me to stay between yourself and Auror Potter, we can both get closer to improve my chances of helping him, before the curse slowly kills him.”

“Fine, yes, whatever, let’s just help him!” Hermione said in a rush, pulling out her wand.

Nodding curtly, Snape pulled out his wand and cast a Dark magic detection charm. He frowned at his wand tip as it glowed red, even though clearly Dark magic was afoot. He crept across the room, choosing his footing carefully as Hermione followed him with equal care. The pair gave the general area Potter occupied a wide berth as they circled around to his front. The floor was littered solely with books and a few magical devices awaiting repair, they had returned the other items to their rightful states. 

On the floor beneath him, lay a wooden box, it was small, possibly initially constructed to hold jewelry or other small items, the box had not been present when they searched the room earlier. Unaware she was even moving, Hermione started to walk towards the box. Snape flung out his arm and pulled her back, scowling darkly at her. She winced and muttered an apology as she blushed, moving back from Harry. He pointed his wand at the box and seemed to nonverbally counteract the curse because the rope unwound itself from Harry’s neck and he fell to the floor of the office. Hermione quickly aimed her wand at her falling friend and cushioned his body against the blow to the floor. 

Agent Snape cautiously approached the cursed box while Hermione rushed over to her friend who was clutching his throat and taking deep rasping breaths. She pulled his hands from his throat and began inspecting the red, chafed skin of his neck. A quick diagnostic spell revealed no serious injury was done to Harry, much to her relief. Sighing, Hermione asked “Why would you do something so foolish?! Why did you touch that box?!”

Harry winced as he cleared his throat to answer her. “I didn’t. I saw a shimmer move from behind a portrait propped against the wall.” He rasped, grimaced and continued. “It must have been Disillusioned behind the portrait and when I spelled the portrait back into place it fell over. I lifted the Disillusionment charm and...”

“The curse must have been set to trigger when the Disillusionment was lifted. Auror Potter was within striking distance of the curse when he lifted the Charm.” Snape said, holding his wand out as he effortlessly floated the wooden box in front of him. “This box and the curse were intended for whoever had the misfortune of investigating this partially demolished room.”

Returning his attention to the box, Agent Snape magically unlocked and lifted the lid. Inside was a folded piece of parchment, on the outside the word “Traitor” was scrawled in a slightly messy hand. 

Hermione handed Snape a pair of dragon hide gloves, she had summoned his bag and removed them while Snape’s attention was focused on the box and its contents. Silently, he donned the gloves and gingerly reached in for the letter. Tentatively, he unfolded it and began to read, his dark eyes darting across the page as Hermione and Harry looked on. Snape scoffed and folded the letter up, Hermione wondered what it said and was debating asking him when several Aurors charged into the room. 

“Dark magic was detected up here! What did the Mums do, newt?” Bellowed the Chief Auror, a broad chested bald man named Octavius Bulstrode. He had a large round head and a cleft chin, his beady eyes peered at them angrily over slightly flushed cheeks. This query was apparently directed at Harry as he blushed at being called “newt” in front of Agent Snape and Hermione as well as the use of the term “Mum.” 

Snape smoothly answered, “We didn’t cast anything, you’re incompetent employees missed obvious Dark magic in this room that Auror Potter stumbled across in his attempts to assist our efforts. Agent Granger and I have everything we need from the room, I only require an owl from the Headmistress when she confirms the absence of the student address book.”

He made eye contact with Hermione who nodded curtly and began walking towards the door, Chief Bulstrode threw out an arm to block their way. “Hold it right there, Snape!” He growled then turned to address Harry, “Was that what happened, newt?”

Clearing his throat painfully, Harry answered, “Yes sir, Chief Ox. Agent Snape explained everything, he lifted the curse and that was that.” 

Bulstrode narrowed his eyes at Hermione and Snape before lowering his arm to allow them to pass. “Fine, you’re free to go Mums. I’ll have McGonagall owl you over the status of this address book. We’ll finish up the work here.” 

Without acknowledging the rude wizard, Agent Snape swept out of the room with Hermione close behind him. At the bottom of the spiral staircase, Hermione attempted to ask Snape about the cursed box but he immediately hissed and growled at her, “Not here, don’t mention anything until we are back in our office at the Ministry.”

Taken aback by his reaction and a bit annoyed at how rude he was being, she glared at him with an affronted expression as she stomped next to him down the hallway. “Fine.” She muttered, “bloody arsehole Aurors and a grumpy git. Woke up in the middle of the night. Not how I wanted to spend my day.”

Unable to help himself, Snape smirked out of her line of sight. 

* * *

  
The lowest level of the Ministry was generally quiet except when someone was either reporting to the NU Files or one of the Unspeakables assigned to the department came in to work in the office. That silence was shattered as the elevator doors banged open and out strode Agents Snape and Granger. Snape swept out of the elevator and down the hallway ahead of Granger as she stepped out and hurried behind him. It was clear for anyone to see, not that anyone was looking, that she was struggling to keep herself from peppering her partner with a multitude of questions. She was also struggling not to hex him out of frustration, but one of those desires was going to remain unfulfilled.

Pulling out his wand, Snape unlocked the office door and lowered the wards he kept on it whenever he was away. He threw the door open and went straight for his desk, depositing his bag next to it and dropping himself in his chair. Immediately behind him, Hermione hurried in and shut the door, wandlessly warding it against whatever internal threat she assumed Agent Snape feared. Their entrance caused such a commotion, they startled the Snoddy sisters awake in their frame. The witches blinked blearily at them and stretched as the office’s occupants ignored the ladies. 

“Now would you care to explain what the hell that letter was or why we didn’t tell the entire truth to the Aurors?” Hermione asked, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed at the wizard rubbing his forehead at his desk. 

Sighing, Snape reached over and pulled out Hermione’s desk chair before answering, “You should sit down, Granger. That pose of intimidation may work on Potter or your beau Weasley but it won’t work on me. You should sit anyway, we are going to need a bit of break before we dive into our analysis.”

Still glaring, she took her hands off of her hips and grudgingly walking over to her chair, really noticing the proximity of their chairs with them pulled out from their respective desks. “I don’t have a beau and if I did it certainly wouldn’t be Ronald Weasley!” She exclaimed, sitting down a bit harder than she meant to, but tried to act as though she hadn’t just potentially bruised her coccyx. 

Snape cocked his head at her, as he said, “Really? Well, regardless that sort of behavior is more amusing than anything else. So, there are a few lab spaces on this floor that our department jealously guards as they were developed in house for our use only. However, before I show you those rooms, we need to consult with our charming, painted co-workers on the case.” 

Celeste grinned at them before saying, “Kind of you to notice we’re still here. Barging in and interrupting our beauty sleep like that.”

Her sister nodded in agreement, removing her glasses and polishing them on her robes. Caroline added, “Exactly! And they barely ask our opinions on anything these days. Makes a witch feel unappreciated, that does.”

“Ladies, forgive us. We were awakened early this morning for the Dolohov case. And really, I believe beauty sleep is completely unnecessary for the pair of you, perfection cannot be improved upon.” Snape said. 

Hermione couldn’t help the smirk that tugged on the corner of her mouth as the Snoddy sisters chuckled at Agent Snape’s compliments. She was always blown away at his ability to turn on the charm with them, perhaps it was the lack of any potential for a true relationship for him to cock up? She gave her head a slight shake and decided it was something to ponder another time. 

“Alright, we are moderately appeased. So fill us in on what happened and what you need our help with.” Celeste said, settling herself more comfortably in her desk chair. 

Snape laid out the entirety of the event at Hogwarts and finishing with their rather tense departure. The sisters only response throughout the telling were noises of agreement. When he was finished they were silent in thought. 

“Well, lets see this box then. I have a suspicion but we need to see it to confirm it.” Caroline finally said, breaking the silence and causing Hermione to jerk slightly in surprise. 

“We haven’t-“ Hermione began as Snape reached into his bag and pulled out a plastic bag containing the shrunken box. 

He opened the plastic bag and used his wand to magically remove the box and restore it to its former size. The sisters immediately sat forward to look more closely as the box floated towards their portrait. Celeste reached out of sight and pulled a pair of glasses out to perch upon her nose daintily. 

“Rotate it for us, Severus.” Caroline said, never taking her eyes off the thing. 

He obliged them, spinning it slowly. Caroline finally tore her eyes away as the box completed its spin. “Turn it over, Severus and bring it closer. We need to see the bottom.” Celeste said, motioning her hands at Snape.

Snape again obliged, flipping it over and bringing it in closer to the portrait for them. She looked at her sister who was already staring at her. “It’s definitely runes carved into the bottom very small, but we don’t have any reliable means to fully translate them. They are Sons of Merlin runes, they are derived from Celtic runes, at best we can compare them to old case files.” Caroline said, rubbing her forehead. 

Snape quickly brought the box back over via magic and peered carefully at the bottom. Hermione leapt up and leaned over his shoulder so she could see them too. In the middle on the bottom she could see three carvings in the wood. She agreed with their assessment that these were similar to the Celtic runes but not exactly the same, they were clearly a derivative set of symbols. Inhaling deeply in contemplation, she also got a lungful of eau de Snape, an incredibly pleasant odor she had not anticipated. He smelled like fresh laundered robes, a hint of coffee, and a smell she usually associated with her father. Does Agent Snape use the Muggle aftershave Brut?! Hermione thought, a bit surprised she remember the name of it. She pulled her thoughts from her dissection of his odor by further speculation regarding the matter at hand on the other side of the room. 

“But, my guess is they are part of why the Aurors didn’t detect any Dark magic in the room. We encountered similarly hidden Dark curses in our work attempting to track down the SOM. Charms to detect Dark Magic didn’t catch those either I always suspected they had some way to hide their Dark Magic using these alphabet.” Celeste said, looking thoughtfully at her sister. 

“Then it’s as we suspected, Dolohov has close enough ties to the Sons of Merlin that he knows the runes.” Snape said warily. 

“Oh did we suspect that? I need to read this case file, I feel like tits on a bull.” Hermione griped. 

All three of them turned to look at her and the Snoddy sisters burst into fits of laughter. Snape himself seemed to be struggling to hold back a chuckle. Hermione blushed, realizing she had voiced her thoughts aloud but before she could attempt to assuage some of her embarrassment by claiming a desperate need for caffeine, a timid knock sounded on the door. 

Snape cleared his throat, ushered the floating box into his desk drawer and closed it as Hermione quickly dropped the wards she had thrown on the door and sank back down into her chair. Snape voiced a neutral “Come in.”

The door opened cautiously as Harry stuck his head in the doorway. “Sorry to intrude but-“ he began. 

His body soon followed his head into the room as he spoke and a wolf whistle sounded from the Snoddy painting behind him. Harry spun around mid-sentence to the slightly predatory looks on their faces. “Oh he’ll do nicely, won’t he, Caroline?” Celeste said, bringing her right hand up to rest her forefinger next to her mouth. 

“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating cockroach clusters. What’s your name laddie? Give us another spin, these new Auror uniforms are simply delicious, not much left to imagine, is there?” Caroline said, twirling her hand when she prompted Harry to spin around for her perusal. 

Harry blushed a bright crimson, tugged on his collar self-consciously, and managed to say, “I’m Harry Potter.”

“Ah yes, the Boy Who Somehow Managed to Live. Well Severus, if he is half as good at being an Auror as he is at filling out that uniform, I’d say your estimates of that department’s abilities are inaccurate.” Celeste said, she turned to her sister and continued, “Although, he’s not one for listening, is he? You did tell him to give us a turn.”

Growing up as Harry’s friend, Hermione had never really objectively examined whether her best friend was physically attractive. Hearing the Snoddy sisters objectify him, she turned an assessing gaze towards him. He had grown his messy black hair out past his shoulders and was experimenting with varying amounts of facial hair, his latest look was trimmed closed without shaving any off. His facial hair came in fully everywhere except in two parallel lines on either side of his mouth and two patches beneath his lower lip. Auror training also required a lot of physical fitness, the result was a well filled out frame. Hermione found herself agreeing with Caroline and Celeste in their evaluation of her friend.

Apparently, having seen a satisfying amount of embarrassment for Harry today, Snape intervened. “Indeed, he still seems to struggle with following directions, something I had hoped my time as his professor had remedied. Now, Auror Potter, what can I do to get you out of this office?”

Harry turned back to Agent Snape and shot a desperate glance at Hermione for help. “McGonagall wanted me to inform you two as soon as possible that the address book is missing as well as some magical device that belonged to Dumbledore.” Harry said, moving his hands seemingly casually behind his back to obscure the view of his backside. 

Hermione asked, “What precisely does this magical artifact do? Did anyone ask Dumbledore’s portrait?” 

“He’s been gone from his frame since the break in. We are hoping to ask him about it as soon as he returns.” The messy haired wizard replied. 

“What’s being done about the families whose locations are now compromised? A former Death Eater has the address for every magical child in the U.K.” Snape said, looking at Harry rather intensely. 

“That’s the other reason I’m here, we need to know which pages are missing from the Magical Births book so we know who to prioritize. He is clearly keen on those people for some reason.” Harry replied. “Once I have that we will be sending out Aurors to each home to inform them of their safety risk and to cast stronger wards on their homes. I believe they are going to start up a schedule to check up on the targeted families every few days.”

Snape forcefully exhaled as he reached into his bag, pulled out the ripped book in its plastic bag, and held it out to Harry. “That won’t be sufficient if Dolohov really sets his mind to getting at these people. They need people to guard their homes.” The former professor said. 

Harry took the offered book but Snape didn’t let go. “You will look at it here and make note of the missing pages. We aren’t done with it yet.” Snape said sternly. 

Harry visibly swallowed and replied, “Of course, sir. It’ll only take a moment.”

Snape relinquished his grip on the book with a curt nod. Harry carefully took it and pulled dragon-hide gloves from his uniform to handle the book. 

“Here Harry, you can use my desk for a moment.” Hermione said, taking pity on her friend who seemed completely uncomfortable being there. 

She stood and allowed Harry to occupy her chair as she leant against her desk and turned back to Snape, who was flipping through a notebook on his desk. He seemed to find the page he needed as he stopped and pulled his reading glasses from the top drawer of his desk. Perching them on his nose, he began to read over the page he had stopped on. Curious, Hermione stepped over and peered over his shoulder to see what had grabbed the dark wizard’s attention, careful not to get so close that she was distracted by his appealing aroma. 

The top of the page read “SOM Runes” in Snape’s handwriting and below was a collection of seven drawings, also completed by Snape, of the known SOM runes. Only two of them were labelled, one was speculated to be a masking rune to hide the presence of a spell and the other was thought to be a shield of some kind. The former matched one of the three carved into the bottom of the box. Hermione stepped back from his person as he sighed. Harry turned towards her and asked, “Could I get a bit of parchment, a quill and some ink?”

Opening the top drawer of her desk she reached in and pulled out the necessary materials for her friend and wordlessly handed them to him. He quickly scratched out the necessary numbers and sprang from her chair. “Thanks, Hermione! I’ll be off then, I’m sure we will be seeing each other again for this case.” Harry said, walking to the door quick enough that it was nearly rude. 

Snape jerked his head up quickly and called out, “Wait, Potter. Take this film up to the photography lab on your way. Tell them it is urgent that we get those images back as soon as possible. Threaten them with the bat of the dungeons if you feel it will speed things along.”

The dark wizard reached into his bag and pulled out the film, he extended his arm to hand it to Harry. The young wizard looked slightly amused at Agent Snape as he took the film and replied, “Of course, sir. I’ll let them know it’s urgent.”

Snape nodded curtly at him and Harry flashed a grin at Hermione as he left. Once Harry was gone and they heard the faint sound of the elevator doors clanging shut, Snape stood and turned toward Hermione. “The department’s labs are right next door, carefully bring that book with you and we will get started. I know they probably showed you some general forensic techniques and such during your training but I doubt they extended to the handling of Dark objects. So pay close attention, I will be decidedly unimpressed if I have to escort your person to St. Mungo’s.” Snape said with a sneer as he pointed his wand at the drawer of his desk hiding the cursed box. 

The drawer sprang open and the box floated out towards him and stopped just in front of the office door. Hermione stood, scowling at her partner. “When have I ever allowed my attention to wander when learning something new?!” She said, rather annoyed with him. 

Snape pulled the door open, smirking out of Hermione’s sight before swapping his smirk for a sneer as he turned back towards her to reply, “I am certain I don’t know, as surprising as it may be to you, Granger, not everyone’s focus is on you and your various idiosyncrasies. I am merely warning you to be vigilant, don’t get distracted by sniffing my hair as you did earlier.”

Taken aback and feeling slightly embarrassed that he had noticed her inadvertent smelling of his person, Hermione quickly jumped to defend herself as she leapt forward to follow Snape who began walking out of the office down the hallway. “I was not sniffing your hair! Any smelling of your hair or otherwise was completely coincidental with my needing to breath. Perhaps you should try it sometimes, it would give the illusion you are a person rather than the zombie it is rumored you are.” She said, firmly closing the door behind her. 

Any retort he may have offered her was lost to the listening Snoddy witches in their portrait. “Damn!” exclaimed Caroline, “I wanted to hear what Severus said to that!”

She turned to her sister, who was wearing a similar look of disappointment. “As did I, but I bet it was clever and cutting knowing him. Do you reckon that Potter fellow will be back?” Celeste asked, rather wistfully. 

“Oh I hope so, I like our tall, dark, broody Severus but it is nice to get a gander at the other wizards the Ministry employs. Variety and the spice of life, all that sort of thing.” Caroline said, sitting delicately back at her desk. 

Celeste snorted at her sister and replied, “Well, we are not technically alive. As for variety, Potter is just a younger, less dark version of Severus, Caroline. There is nothing wrong with having a type but don’t act like a slight variation on it is variety.”

Looking mildly surprised, Caroline laughed and said, “Sweet Circe, you’re right! What would I do without your powers of observation?”

Celeste sniffed and took off her reading glasses before she replied, “I expect you would be tragically lost and feel quite alone in this world. And commit the foolish error of thinking you like a variety of men when you really only like two types at best.”


	5. Watching and Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long it has been since the last chapter, I was at a conference and preparing for a job interview. Please read the tags as they have changed, there will eventually be some scary situations containing children. Although if that bothers you, I'm not sure if Harry Potter is the best series for you to read. 
> 
> Also, Snape will be smoking tobacco in this chapter, if that is something that bothers you then please don't read it. His background and life story practically screams smoker to me. Oppressed people smoke to deal with stress, I don't think they should be demonized for it as an occasional smoker myself and I don't wish to have a debate with anyone on the internet about smoking. Although, I can't imagine a Snanger shipper posting an ugly comment about that, we are a very non-judgmental lot in my experience. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or asked for more of this story, it makes my day to know someone else out there is enjoying it along with me. I treasure the kudos as well :)
> 
> Shoutout to my Beta, Jeannie! She is amazing and always points out places where the words don't reflect what I pictured.

“So what's a nice place like this  
Doing 'round people like us?  
So what's a nice place like this  
Doing 'round people like us?  
We know where you fucking live  
We know where you fucking live  
We'll burn it down, burn it down  
They won't even recognize your corpse”  
-Marilyn Manson, WE KNOW WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE

“Now then, enough of your juvenile arguments.” Agent Snape said, sneering at Hermione. 

They had arrived at the nondescript, heavy wooden door to the NU Files lab, Hermione crossed her arms over her chest in frustration. “Said the kettle to the cauldron.” She muttered, glaring at her co-worker. 

Snape raised an eyebrow before continuing, “I have already added you to the wards for this room, simply press your right thumb to the door knob and it should open for you.” 

He took a step back from the door and gestured for her to step forward and test it out. Still rather annoyed with him for accusing her of purposefully sniffing him, Hermione stepped up to the door and rather forcefully rammed her thumb at the brass door knob without regard for how painful that might be for her. The door clicked and swung open while she barely suppressed a wince from her overzealous thrust of her thumb. Snape, of course, noticed and smirked at her. “For future reference, merely pressing your thumb will do the job. No need to try using it like a key one has to jab into a lock.”

With that, he strode past her into the room, she followed him, grumpily. The lights popped on automatically as they entered, bathing the entire room in fluorescent light. It was larger than their office and had black counter space running around the entire room. In the center of the room was a large floating chalkboard, chalk, and an eraser, sitting in the little bin at the bottom. To the left of the door was a tidy potions bench, complete with a supply cabinet beneath the counter and various implements on top. The rest of the room held many varied pieces of equipment, some she was familiar with and others she was not. To the right was an instrument she recognized, a light box and multiple magnifying glasses suspended above it all meant for viewing documents or other such pieces of evidence. 

Snape sent the small wooden box to rest on an available expanse of countertop while he continued over towards the light box. He reached into his robes and extracted his dragon hide gloves, putting them on as he walked. Hermione eagerly followed him over, hoping he was finally going to let her see the letter from the crime scene. It had clearly been addressed to him. 

They came to a stop in front of the light box and Snape reached into an interior pocket of his Unspeakables robes. He pulled the letter from inside his pocket, still in one of his plastic bags. Hermione marveled over the fact that something so simple seemed to block magic so effectively as she moved in on his right to watch him work. Carefully removing the parchment from the bag, Snape smoothed the letter out on the light box. It attempted to curl up briefly before he pulled out his wand and cast a weak sticking charm on each corner. To the left of the light box rested an open notebook as well as a quill and a stoppered bottle of ink. Snape reached over and removed the stopper from the ink. He then cast a nonverbal spell on the quill, it immediately sprang from the countertop and dipped itself in the ink. The quill then floated up to hover just over the parchment of the notebook, poised to begin taking notes. He cleared his throat and began to speak “This is Agent Snape completing the analysis for evidence found at the break-in of the Headmistress’ office at Hogwarts, July 6th 2000.”

As soon as he began speaking, the quill started scratching out what he said in the open notebook. He reached to the back of the light box and switched it on. Meanwhile, Hermione had been trying to angle herself around his body to see what the letter said. She wasn’t tall enough to read over his shoulder. This damn, bulky book is in my bloody way, she thought, exasperated with trying to keep it’s potentially cursed surface from touching her or Snape. She finally set down the magical births book on an empty space on the counter to ease her attempts to get close enough to see the words on the parchment properly. In desperation, she was about conjure a stool from which to read it and watch Snape work.

Reaching down to open a drawer beneath the countertop, he paused and looked up at Hermione as she was attempting to balance on her tip toes. “Before I begin magically interrogating the letter, I will read it aloud so there is documentation of what it states. There are charms and curses that could be embedded in this parchment to destroy it, set to be triggered by one of the forensic methods I am about to employ.” Snape stated, then he added, “I can practically feel your eagerness to read it and your attempts to read it are very distracting. I am about to read it now, so there is no need to get your knickers in a twist to find out what it says.”

Looking rather affronted, Hermione replied, “Whose knickers are in a twist?! Excuse me for wanting to be equipped with all information pertinent to our case.” 

Curling his lip into a sneer, he retaliated, “I’m sure you are the one with the knickers, unless the haste with which you dressed this morning caused you to neglect proper attire.” 

Hermione gaped at him, of all the things he could have said, implying she was not wearing underwear was quite possibly the last thing she had expected. She suspected what he had said was also a bit of a surprise to him as well since he looked away from her face with a touch of guilt on his features. “I will thank you to keep your speculation regarding the presence or absence of my undergarments to yourself, Agent Snape. Now let's get on with this investigation, every moment we waste bickering is to Dolohov’s advantage.” Hermione stated firmly, glaring at him.

Snape opened his mouth to deliver what was sure to be a scathing retort but stopped himself and gave his head a brief shake. “Fine, don’t interrupt me and we can get on with this. If you have so much trouble seeing, use your wand and conjure a step ladder or a stool.” He said, a bit reluctant to back down even when he knew his statements were out of line. 

Glaring at him, she pulled out her wand and conjured a small step stool that allowed her a bird’s eye view over his right shoulder of everything he was doing. Snape cleared his throat and began reading.

_“Snape, If you are reading this, my Birds of Hell failed to kill you and that shite partner you were saddled with, I heard about the Mudblood Granger working in the Department of Mysteries now. I hope the curse got her at least. The Ministry really has gone to the dogs, hiring the two of you._

_This will likely be the only piece of evidence you will have to work with in tracking me down. I intend to bring the world back to its proper order, resurrecting the old ways and ideologies. If you did survive my little trap, I do hope you make it all the way to the end. I can reacquaint you with an old friend, I think he will be very surprised to see you and anxious to hear all about what you have been up to in the last few years._

_Please, do try and make this interesting for me, it’s been ages since I did anything stimulating._

_Sincerely,  
Dolohov.”_

Snape finished reading the letter, the recording quill scratched furiously to catch up. It finally stilled, having transcribed everything he read. Hermione looked pensive for a moment before she turned, hopped off of her stool, and started over to the chalkboard. “Where are you going, Granger?” Snape asked, stopping her in her tracks. 

“To the chalkboard, so I can write out what he said. We might be able to glean his intentions from his word choice.” Hermione stated, mildly annoyed to have him questioning her. 

“I can discern that with a spell, we are going to put this bit of parchment through the full arsenal of spells I know of for this.” Snape said, “Many of the spells I am about to show you are exclusive to the NU Files or are my own invention. We will go through this carefully and thoroughly, you are a quick learner so I am hoping once we finish with the letter, you can assist with the book.” 

Hermione quickly resumed her position standing on her stool, her footsteps back to his side tapping rapidly in her eagerness to learn new, exclusive magic and move forward with the case. She filed away his statement about her being a fast learner, she would reflect on his compliment about her learning speed later.

* * *

  
Antonin Dolohov peered through the window of the dark, empty house he had been watching all day, his hands curled around his eyes to improve his view inside, illuminated by moonlight. His shaggy dark hair curled slightly around his face as he took a look inside. Sitting Disillusioned in a tree in the small patch of woods directly behind the house, he had watched the comings and goings of neighborhood. No one was home and it was late in the evening. He had watched the Aurors visit but not receive an answer at the door, their visit was actually informative as overhearing their conversation had confirmed his suspicions that it was a family of four. He backed away from the window, brushed off the front of his Egyptian blue robes then leaned over to glance around the corner of the house to ensure no one was watching before pulling out his wand and unlocking the back door. The complete lack of wards was a strong indicator that this was a non-magical residence. It opened on to a very clean kitchen, filled with stainless steel appliances and white marble countertops. He stepped carefully inside, resting his weight from heel-to-toe gradually with each step on the tile floors.

Gingerly closing the door behind him, Dolohov crept further into the house. He was pretty sure they were Muggles, their last name wasn’t one of the pure blood names he had grown up with but that didn’t mean their child couldn’t be half-blood and the mother had been a pure blood. He needed evidence of their Muggle filth before he could continue with his plan. 

There were a few things he could check to discern a Muggle household from a Wizarding household influenced by a Muggleborn. His cautious steps had brought him in front of the kitchen sink. Shafts of moonlight cut across the room from the window over the sink. The former Death Eater crouched down and opened the cabinet under the sink. He drew his wand and muttered quietly, “Lumos.”

The tip of his wand lit up and he held it up inside the cabinet. The wand light shone down on a bin full of the harsh chemicals Muggles used to clean their home, this was not sufficient to conclude it was a Muggle home but it was definitely an additional point in favor of that conclusion. Dolohov withdrew his wand from the cabinet muttering “Nox,” closed the cabinet door, and straightened back up to his full height. 

Striding out of the kitchen and into the living room, he raked his eyes over the room. His loafers hit thick carpet once he entered this room. It was plain looking, three off white walls with one accent wall painted a burnt orange, several family photos were hanging on the walls. There were a few pieces of furniture scattered about the room, he did not care to spare more than a second’s glance at that. His eyes snagged on the feature he was seeking out, the fireplace. 

Slinking around the various tables and the large sofa aimed at the fireplace, he eased up to the mantle. It held various knick knacks but nothing that held Floo powder. He smirked, this house was definitely showing promise to fit his needs. There was one other place he wanted to check before he was certain it was a Muggle house. 

Dolohov silently crept down the hallway off of the living room and into the master bedroom and the bathroom contained within. The dark wizard swung open the medicine cabinet and his face cracked into a wide smile. The cabinet was filled with Muggle medicines. No magical person, half-blood or even Muggleborn would use Muggle medicines. The magical medical community strongly advised against their use because of several mishaps involving witches and wizards not knowing the lethality of many Muggle medications when taken at the wrong dose. Potions generally worked by tossing back the entire contents of their container, not necessarily the best course of action when it came to Muggle pills. If a Healer found out their patient used Muggle medications, said patient received an ear-blistering lecture about the dangers. 

Satisfied he had found a family that fit his needs, he returned to the kitchen where he set a ward of his own on the door as he left. Once the family returned home, Dolohov would feel it in his ward. He reached into his back pocket and checked the next name and address on his list but decided against heading there straight away. He would have to set up his watch of the next family in the morning, right now he needed to get some sleep. This family might meet most of his criteria but there was a further layer of selection that could only be ascertained in person.

* * *

Agents Granger and Snape painfully straightened their necks from leaning over the counters all afternoon and evening. Hermione pulled off her gloves and rubbed the back of her neck then rolled her head. They had finally finished going over the letter and the book, the box would have to wait until morning. However, they had discovered a rather disturbing bit of information. 

“I just can’t believe he thinks he can bring back Voldemort! We completely destroyed all chances of that happening!” Hermione exclaimed, for the fifth time in the past hour. 

“I know that, Granger. Clearly Dolohov doesn’t. The horcruxes were purposefully left out of the public’s knowledge about Riddle. It wouldn’t do to have any budding copycats feel inspired and try to emulate the bastard.” Snape said, rubbing his forehead in exhaustion.

“Were his horcruxes common knowledge among the Death Eaters?” Hermione asked, looking at him with curiosity. 

“No, he never told me about them but I wouldn’t be surprised if he told Dolohov.” Snape said, standing from the stool he had conjured to perch on and stretched his long body. “I was viewed as only half worth associating with, if you will recall, I am only a half-blood. Never mind that was the blood status of Riddle himself, he preferred the company of the purebloods over me. I think I reminded him of his own self-assigned inadequacies. There were a great many secrets kept from those of us who weren’t pureblood and they bloody well cryptically referenced them in front of us like it was some great treat to know demented facts about our disfigured leader.”

Hermione seemed to be brimming with more questions after that tidbit but Snape did not have it in him to endure the interrogation he saw brewing in her eyes. “It’s been an extremely long day, let’s call it quits and come at that box fresh in the morning. I expect we will have a report from the Aurors and our pictures of the office developed by then.” Snape said, offering Hermione a hand to help her off of her stool. 

Looking at him with slight disappointment, probably because he had denied her the chance to unleash the barrage of questions milling about in that bushy head of hers, she accepted his assistance and stepped down. “Fine, I’m bushed! We can continue our investigation better after some sleep, hopefully Dolohov hasn’t had time to act on any plans he has for those families.”

They both left the room as is since they would be returning to it first thing in the morning. They gathered up their belongings, said farewell to the Snoddy sisters, and waited for the elevator together in silence. Snape was deep in thought over just how Dolohov could be attempting to bring back Riddle, there were countless Dark spells for reanimating corpses but precious few that truly resurrected a person, none that he knew of required children.

“Why was the Chief Auror, that Ox man, so awful towards you?” Hermione asked as they waited.

Snape looked over at her and answered, “Chief Bulstrode was strongly opposed to letting any former Death Eaters walk free of Azkaban. The fact that I was hired to work in this department really pissed him off. I try to avoid interacting with him as much as possible, he is generally an arsehole.”

“I gathered that he was an arsehole all on my own actually, but why keep some of our evidence hidden from him?” She asked, looking puzzled.

“Because that letter was clearly directed at me and we don’t need Chief Bulstrode thinking that Dolohov is communicating with me about this in anyway. And the box is riddled with Dark magic, again something that will draw his focus on us unnecessarily. The less he knows about the case, the less he will interfere with our investigation.” Snape said, turning his gaze straight ahead, returning the two of them to silent contemplation.

The elevator banged open, pulling him from his thoughts, he saw from the corner of his eye that Granger had been slightly startled from hers as well. He held out an arm for her to enter the elevator first, she stepped through with a muttered “Thanks.”

Absentmindedly pressing the button for the main entrance, Hermione glanced at him briefly before staring resolutely at the lever arm that indicated their progress up the building. Snape glanced over as well, trying not to watch her in a noticeable fashion. She was certainly no longer an obnoxious child, her body had filled out a bit more than he had anticipated noticing. But the witch had looked fetching that morning in her dressing gown. She would not be winning prizes for her beauty but her face was pleasant to look at, her lips looked rather plump and inviting the longer he looked at them. Realizing he had been staring in a not so subtle manner, he quickly averted his gaze to join hers in marking their progress back to near ground level. 

The doors of the elevator opened with a clang and they stepped out into the atrium of the building. Hermione started for the fireplaces that took employees to the street where they could Apparate home, she turned her head and wished him a good night. Snape raised a hand in return, walking over to the Floo fireplaces to return directly to his home.

A loud squawk greeted him when he stepped out of his fireplace, DB immediately flew over to perch on his mantle and glare at him. “Where have you been?” The bird asked, clearly annoyed as he clicked his beak at the end of his question.

Snape sneered at his pet as he immediately spelled away the soot that evitably clung to one’s robes in the Floo system and began to remove his shoes. “I have been earning money and helping those buffoons at the Ministry, to supply you with the various fruits you demand. As you well know, you put up quite the fuss this morning when I got that Floo call.” 

Having removed his boots, Snape silently walked into his kitchen, trailed noisily by his feathered pet. “I didn’t get any grapes today.” DB exclaimed as he landed on a dark wooden perch adjacent to the kitchen counter. 

Sighing, Snape opened the stainless steel refrigerator and pulled out a Tupperware of cleaned, cut grapes. He pulled out DB’s bowl and threw in a sufficient number of grapes to quiet the flying menace before he set it on the bird’s perch. “Here, although I gave you plenty of carrots this morning in addition to your pellets.” The grumpy wizard said, “Now bugger off, it's been a long day and I don’t need your cheek.”

DB happily set to munching on his grapes in silence, leaving Snape to fix his dinner. He turned back to the refrigerator and pried open the freezer with a decided lack of enthusiasm. Perusing his options, he pulled out a frozen dinner of chana masala. In a short time, he had his dinner plated up, hot, and was eating it at the overly large dining table Narcissa had insisted on. The dining room was open to the kitchen and was also filled with dark wooden tones comparable to the living room but with a more modern feel. 

Mentally, he was berating himself for how he had been talking to Granger today, he knew he was oscillating between a grumpy arsehole and nearly flirting with her, the Snoddy sisters had rubbed off on him a bit. He snorted at the field day those two would have over his choice of words, “rubbed off on him a bit.” 

He needed to get it together around his partner though. Every time he found himself feeling any sort of positive emotion towards her, he lashed out with some horrid insult to protect himself from getting too close to her. It was a defense mechanism he knew he desperately needed to break, it had caused him to lash out at Lily all those years ago and call her a mud blood. Perhaps it was something he could subtly ask his yoga instructor about...as a hypothetical situation not involving him at all. 

Curse the witch for growing into an intelligent, attractive woman who he had to endure in close proximity so frequently! Curse him for that matter, thinking about her as even a remote possibility was foolish in the extreme. His jibe earlier about her smelling him had been an exaggeration in his mind, it was more telling of how closely he was paying attention to her every move than anything else. He felt lucky she had not called him out on watching her every little move, perhaps she was too flustered. But Merlin’s beard she had invaded his personal space on multiple occasions today, how could he not notice that?!

He mentally cringed when he remembered his questioning the presence of her undergarments, that was sexual harassment really. He paused with a forkful of his dinner en route to his mouth, the dark haired wizard cursed silently, he was going to have to apologize for his behavior today. Discussing her undergarments was definitely inappropriate, that was not something she should have had to endure. He resumed eating but shifted uncomfortably, he had never thought of himself as the type of wizard to do such a thing. His jokes with the Snoddy sisters were one thing but this was something else entirely, the Snoddy sisters were willing participants in those jokes. He had not been joking amicably with Granger when he said that to her. That was a situation he would have to address and hope she would accept his apology and offer of friendship.

It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he was friends with her, the gods knew he had precious few of those these days. That was the solution old man, just be friends with her, nothing more. Men were friends with women they found attractive all the time, right? Except he knew how well that went for him last time he found a female friend attractive, he had somehow found himself a bloody spy and a double agent in a war that led to him teaching dunderheaded nit wits and murdering his boss. 

_Okay,_ he thought, _so I’ll just be professional and friendly, casual, nothing can come of that, right?_

“More grapes!” Clipped out DB.

Ripped from his thoughts regarding his troublesome co-worker, Snape looked up with a scowl at his demanding pet. “Absolutely not, you will get fat and then your veterinarian will skin me alive. If you want something more to eat, have some more pellets.” 

“They’re shite.”

“They are not shite, they are the best bloody bird pellets I could find. Now quit complaining before I decide I would prefer your company as a feather throw pillow in my armchair.” Snape said, sending his dishes to the sink where they began cleaning themselves. 

“Grumpy git.” Answered DB.

Sneering in reply, Snape reached into his breast pocket and pulled out his slightly battered pack of cigarettes. He had avoided smoking them all day since he couldn’t get a moment’s peace away from Granger. He walked over to his back door, opened it with a slight creak, and stepped out onto the porch. Clink. This was followed by a rasping sound and the whoosh of a flame as he lit a cigarette he had pulled from the pack with a black zippo from his pocket. Clink, as he shut the lighter again. He drew in a sharp breath, the first full puff off of his cigarette. 

The back porch was screened in and painted dark grey with several hanging plants and a porch swing. A slight breeze blew through the screens, cooling the night air all around him. He walked over to the wooden swing and lowered himself down to sit in it, sighing as he fully rested his weight in it.

The dark-haired wizard gently swung to and fro, puffing his cigarette and feeling rather proud that he had been able to limit himself to that one all day. He had smoked nearly a pack a day during the height of the second war, he had slowly backed off his habit to needing only two or three cigarettes a day. As a child, he had sworn he would never pick up the habit he had watched kill his father but stress had driven him to it. There are healthy ways to deal with stress but a wizard in his position from his background had turned to one of the only means he had seen and knew best. Therapy wasn’t exactly an option for him during the war, who could he possibly trust enough to reveal to them that he was a double agent?! Smoke rose from his hand and curled around the ceiling overhead as he brought it to his lips, he inhaled deeply then leaned his head back to look up at the light overhead. He blew the smoke out, watching it drift and dance in the light. Perhaps he was close to finally being able to quit, although this new development with Granger may throw a wrench in that. 

His yoga instructor had helped him immensely, the small older man had not known exactly why Snape needed him to sign off weekly stating he had been there but he did it without fail. Mediation and yoga were like guided occlumency except instead of suppressing his feelings, he was releasing them from his body through the exercises. He would ask the man about dealing with Granger in a way that did not jeopardize their working relationship or compromise the investigation they clearly needed to focus on. Surely there was a way to deal with his newfound attraction to her that would not interfere with his work or ruin things between them. 

Having reached the end of his cigarette, he pulled out his wand and vanished it. Sighing, Snape went back inside to get ready for bed and a new day of work with Agent Granger. He reached out and stroked DB’s head as he passed the dozing bird on his way to the stairs, the little bugger was annoying but Snape secretly loved the bloody bird. DB perked up and squawked out a sleepy “G’night!”

Snape smirked and said, “Goodnight, DB.”

* * *

  
Hermione stepped through her front door clutching several bags to her person, she turned, shut the door with her hip and tossed her keys on the table just inside the door. She kicked off her shoes and sighed with relief at being in only her socks again. Crookshanks rushed forward, tangling himself around her legs and voicing his need for dinner.

“Hello Crooks! Sorry I’m so late, such a busy day at work today!” Hermione said, smiling down at her pet, “I'll feed you in just a moment.”

Setting her purchases down on the kitchen table, she pulled out her wand and flicked it at the cat food dispenser, causing a portion to spill down into the bowl. Crookshanks clumsily scrambled over to wolf down his dinner. 

Turning back to her bags, she pulled out the salad she had haphazardly selected for her dinner from the grocer and swept her wand at the remaining groceries which flew to the opening cabinets and refrigerator. She normally put things away by hand but she was exhausted from the early start of her day. With the groceries put away, Hermione wearily trudged into her living room, salad and a bottle of water in hand. 

She flopped down on her couch and turned on the television. The screen was a blur of colors snapping in and out as she flipped through the channels until she got to a rerun of Friends. Perfect, after today she could do with a laugh. Satisfied with her viewing selection, Hermione turned back to prying the plastic off of her dinner. After a minute of struggling, she still had not gained access to her dinner.

“Merlin’s saggy left testicle and Circe’s drooping tits!” She exclaimed.

Furious, she pulled out her wand and jabbed it at the plastic vault her dinner seemed to be locked in. The lid blew off, straight up in the air and along with it went the majority of the greenery in the bowl. Hastily, she summoned it all back into her bowl with a nonverbal Accio. Taking a deep breath to calm her frustration, she opened her dressing and began covering the various vegetables in it. 

She was under the impression that she had gotten her temper under better control than this, although her day had been a bit tiring and spending the day with an unpredictable Agent Snape had not helped matters. That man could test the patience of a saint and she was a far cry from that. What had been his problem today anyhow? One minute he is acting companionable and talking to her like an equal, even complimenting her ability to learn quickly, and the next minute he is speculating on the presence of her knickers. Not to mention calling her out for sniffing him, like she had done that on purpose anyway. It was purely an accident. It also wasn’t her fault that her former professor smelled so good, being sniffed is really just a hazard of smelling nice. He was just being his usual unpleasant self, insulting and belittling her for no apparent reason. Perhaps he was having a hard time with their day as well, not that it excused his behavior but it was a rather confusing situation. What the hell was Dolohov going to do with that list of names and those addresses? 

Worry had taken up residence as a tight knot in the middle of her stomach over what the former Death Eater may be planning for those children or their families. Why on earth did he think he could bring back Voldemort? And why would he want to? It had come out during the trials that many of the Death Eaters were relieved to see the wizard dead in the end, he had turned vicious towards his followers in the last few years. The abuses had been rapidly escalating, he had murdered several in cold blood when his ire was raised. Snape was lucky he hadn't died of that snake bite, although she didn’t know how he had survived. He had refused to share that information with anyone, he was not about to share it with her. So, why was Dolohov so keen to bring that chaos back into the world? The man must be a few biscuits short of a full tea service. That was more worrisome than anything else, a potentially mad man running about the country with a list of addresses to the homes of multiple magical children. That nausea-inducing worry was why she had settled for such a light dinner, she wasn’t sure she could stomach much more than that. 

With a sigh, she stabbed her fork through a baby carrot and popped it into her mouth, crunching on it as she returned her thoughts to her partner and his behavior. Was he uncomfortable with the idea of working alongside his former student as equals? Well, he would have to bloody well get over that, she would have to make more of an effort to make him see her as his equal. Although how to do that was currently escaping her, maybe she would owl Ginny or Luna for advice. She imagined her friends would probably suggest making her appearance a bit more mature. Some light makeup perhaps, or maybe something different with her hair. Both would require a little effort on her part, although the difference in hair felt better to her than trying to alter her face. Snape might think she was wearing makeup to entice him somehow, he had already picked up on her minuscule sniff of his person. She would hate to have him over analyze any changes like that to her person. 

She speared another forkful of lettuce and was pulled from her thoughts by the antics of Phoebe on her television screen. Phoebe always reminded her of Luna, both were airy, free-spirited blondes who were far more intelligent than most people initially thought. Hermione smiled at the screen as Phoebe screamed at her friends over something she hadn’t been paying close enough attention to catch. That was where the similarity ended, Luna never raised her voice unless it was absolutely necessary. Well, Hermione would write to both of her friends before bed, asking for advice on dealing with her new co-worker, they were bound to have loads of input. 

Finished with her dinner, the young woman tiredly walked into the kitchen and disposed of her garbage. She walked over to the table again and pulled her other purchase from the bag it came in. This one was for Snape, he had better use it when she gave it to him. Setting it on top of her purse to ensure she didn’t forget it in the morning, she yawned and headed to her bedroom. She wanted to quickly send off her letters to her friends and get in bed to make up for the sleep she had missed out on in the early hours of morning.  


* * *

  
The sun had not quite made its morning appearance over the farmland enveloped in a light fog but Antonin Dolohov was already awake and sitting Disillusioned on the roof of a shed. He was watching the farmhouse in front of him intently, waiting for its occupants to wake up. The Aurors had clearly already gotten to this house as he had encountered a set of wards he recognized as Ministry-exclusive. It had been child’s play to dismantle them in a manner undetectable by the fools who set them and set himself up on this rooftop. Based on the wards, he was fairly certain this was a Muggle family and that was why the Aurors had put up their wards. All he needed to know now is if they had a younger child, one that wouldn’t have been recorded in the book pages he had stolen and had not manifested any powers yet.


	6. Vexing Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! This chapter is significantly longer than all of the previous ones and from here on out they will probably all be this long after discussing it with my Beta, Jeannie. Also, huge thanks to her for betaing this story! Thanks for the reviews and kudos, they each warm my heart! I hope you all enjoy! :)

“Teenagers scare  
The living shit out of me  
They could care less  
As long as someone'll bleed”  
-My Chemical Romance, Teenagers

Two weeks later

With a snarl of frustration, Agent Granger snatched up the sheet of parchment in front of her and aggressively crumpled it up. Having gotten no new leads from investigating the wooden box from the crime scene and nothing from the photos they had of the office, she and Agent Snape had fallen back on their favorite resource, the library. While the Ministry boasted an extensive section on the Dark Arts in the Department of Mysteries, books regarding resurrections made up a large percentage of the collection. They had spent the last two weeks combing through those books after getting all they could from their current crime scene evidence. The overwhelming majority of the literature at their disposal seemed to focus on creating an undead army for yourself or a budding conqueror you wished to impress. One particularly disturbing tome had detailed the best means to kill large groups of people without damaging their bodies too much, thus ensuring the most intact forms for one’s army of the living dead. It reminded Hermione of Jonestown and she had made a mental note to look into the potential of Jim Jones being a Dark wizard. 

Letting out a nearly feral sound of disgust, Hermione tossed the ruined parchment over her shoulder in anger. She had been attempting to get some creative juices flowing and generate new potential theories to work off of by writing every thought that popped into her head. What she had actually accomplished was a sheet of every curse word she knew and a few phrases questioning her own intelligence. Unfortunately, the neglectful manner of her tossing led to the balled up parchment bouncing off of Agent Snape’s head, which was currently bent over the most recent book he had been perusing at his desk. She spun her chair to face the filing cabinets and their oil-based co-workers on the side of the room. Thrusting her legs straight out in front of her, she heaved an annoyed sigh and threw her head back to stare at the ceiling. Spotting no helpful hints etched above her, Hermione closed her eyes. 

_Across the room..._

Thoroughly engrossed in his reading, glasses pushed firmly up at the top of his nose, Snape was startled when the bit of paper hit him. He had been reading a nasty method for horse resurrections, clearly one’s zombie army needed suitable transportation. He jumped when a paper ball landed on his head and he turned to glare at his inconsiderate office mate. 

Apparently, Granger had swiveled her chair around to face the filing cabinets and the portrait on the other side of the room. Her head was thrown back, eyes closed, brow furrowed, and hair draped down over the back of the chair. Snape studied her appearance stretched out before him. He couldn’t believe he had once thought her unattractive, her thick, unruly hair cascading over the back of the chair merely made him want to tangle himself up in it and his fingertips wanted to smooth away that series of wrinkles across her forehead. Snape firmly told himself to look but not touch, there was no way Granger would be interested in that sort of interaction. The advice from his counselor/yoga instructor had been to relax more around her, not tense up so much and lash out. If he allowed himself to overthink and stress over their interactions, he was far more likely to lash out to protect himself. He had promptly apologized to her the day after his faux pas regarding the presence or absence of her undergarments and tried to be more relaxed, the results were mixed but overall better.

“If you take a picture, I hear it lasts longer.” Celeste said from across the room, with a devilish wink at Snape before Hermione opened her eyes. 

Hermione’s eyes snapped open at the statement, the puzzled look on her face only deepened.

“And we would know, wouldn’t we?” Caroline added, smirking at the scowl Snape directed at them. 

Hermione turned to Snape, whose gaze was directed at the cheeky witches on the other side of the room. 

“What are they on about?” Hermione asked, he still had not met her searching eyes. 

“ No idea.” He said, giving the sisters a warning look before turning and plucking the paper ball off of his desk. 

He looked at it briefly before throwing it at Granger, who had begun rubbing her forehead with her eyes closed again. The paper missile caused her to jump much like he had, however, she tipped her chair over or would have if not for him. She flailed her arms out and grabbed the edge of her desk but her chair seemed determined to overturn. 

_Fuck!_ He thought, _that was not my best idea._ Having no wish to see her spill out of her chair and on to the floor, then probably take her ire out on him, Snape quickly jumped up and steadied her chair. He placed one hand on each arm, returning all four wheels back to the floor. 

When he looked up, he found himself nearly nose to nose with Agent Granger. She was staring directly into his eyes, trying to recover her breathing from the jolt of adrenaline one inevitably feels after nearly falling in the floor. Her chest moved up and down rapidly, small puffs of breath blew across his face. His gaze dropped to her lips as she tried to draw a deep calming, but still shaky breath. He slowly dragged his eyes back up to meet hers, she looked a bit dazed. Snape felt himself drifting ever so slightly closer to her face. 

“Why in the name of Merlin did you throw that at me? I nearly toppled my chair!” She asked, breaking the tension a bit. 

Well, I thought I’d try to flirt with you a bit but when I’m actually serious about trying to show I’m attracted to someone, apparently I just engage in behavior most people would classify as crackers. He thought, before saying with a single cocked eyebrow and a smirk, “You threw it at my head, turnabout is fair play, is it not?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She said, blushing slightly, “I didn’t mean for it to hit you! I’m just so frustrated with how little progress we are making with the Dolohov case.” 

Neither of them had tried to move apart from each other, their faces so close that Snape could count her eyelashes. 

_In the chair…_

Hermione was not sure why Snape hadn’t moved away yet, or why it felt like his eyes could see right through her. The bloody git smelled divine, as usual, but she had tried to regulate her breathing so she wasn’t accused of sniffing him again. She dropped her gaze to his lips and ran her tongue over her own as he replied, “Well, I’m not the rubbish bin, Granger. Next time…” 

A knock on the door, caused them both to jump and snap their heads towards it. Two groans of annoyance came from the Snoddy sisters, for some reason Hermione could not fathom. Snape sprang back from her chair like it had burned him and covered the distance to the door with long strides. He reached out and yanked the door open. 

On the other side was a very surprised looking Ronald Weasley. He stood in his Auror uniform, red hair and beard neatly trimmed close, right hand poised to knock on the door again. Instead of stating why he was there, the fool merely stared at Snape as if he had never seen the potions master before in his life. 

With a sneer, Snape said in a smooth voice, “Auror Weasley, to what do we owe this unfortunate surprise?”

Seeming to snap out of a daze, Ron cleared his throat and held out the roll of parchment in his left hand as he spoke. “We have an urgent case, Agent Snape. There seems to be a poltergeist terrorizing a street in Bodmin.” 

Snape took the rolled up parchment from Ron and opened it, he began to read it silently. Hermione got up and walked over to see what it said. Ron saw her and a look of panic crossed his face, he placed one hand over his wand in a manner she was sure he thought was discreet. 

“H-hi, Her-er-Agent Granger.” Ron said, clearly unsure of himself, he reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck nervously. 

Hermione rolled her eyes with exasperation. “Honestly, Ronald, I’m not going to hurt you.” She said, feeling a twinge of guilt, “And you can call me Hermione, I would like to be friends again, in the future.”

“Right, sure. Is that all you need from me?” Ron said, avoiding eye contact with Hermione. 

Snape observed the brief exchange with interest, he gave a curt nod and watched as Ron hightailed it up the hallway. The dark wizard smirked and turned his gaze to Hermione, who had taken the parchment from his hands and began reading the sparse sentences it contained. 

“What did you do to Weasley? I’ve never seen him in such a state and I am rather familiar with all of my former students’ expressions of terror.” He said, as he gave her an amused look. 

She held up a hand and finished reading before replying. “That is none of your business. Now, this case has very little to go on, a few households are reporting various items, including a sofa, being moved around and/or broken, and they can verify it isn’t their children. Loud cackling noises in the night. Aurors have assessed the houses and confirmed it’s not a witch or a wizard.”

“Yes, it does sound a bit like something Peeves would find amusing. I suppose we will pop over to Cornwall and sort the bugger out.” Snape said, he watched her walk over to her desk and pick up her bag. 

“Why would they jump to a poltergeist though?” Hermione asked as she turned towards him again, ready to get out of the office and do something useful. 

He had walked over to his desk and was reading from a large, old book he had pulled from seemingly nowhere. 

“There would be the somewhat violent history of Bodmin, it was central to several Cornish uprisings and there used to be a jail in town that hosted multiple executions by hanging. Poltergeists tend to be drawn to places left with deep emotional impressions. It’s why Peeves loves and never leaves Hogwarts, what place sees more angst then a castle filled to the brim with hormonal teenagers?” Snape said, he finished reading, stood up from his desk and pulled his messenger bag from the bottom drawer before continuing. “Emotions carry a magic of their own, all magic requires emotional intention and the best cast spells are done with great feeling. The most powerful incantations require the caster to focus on strong feelings, the Patronus charm and the Unforgivables would be the first ones that come to mind. For this case, I suspect we will find the poltergeist in the home of a magical family with at least one teenager.”

Hermione blinked at him following this outpouring of information, made a mental note to ask him about the book later, but her brow crinkled. “What are we supposed to do about a poltergeist?” She asked, bringing her tote bag straps up and over her shoulder. 

“You catch it and give it an alternative place to wreak havoc, preferably a location that will not protest being saddled with the menace.” Caroline said, still looking mildly annoyed over the intrusive Ron. 

“Indeed, let's be off. Hopefully we won’t have to stay more than a day, do you have a spare change of robes in that bag, Granger?” Snape asked, he looked at her with both eyebrows raised. 

“Yes of course, it is standard operating procedure for Unspeakable Agents in the NU Files to keep a spare set in their bag at all times for occasions such as this.” Hermione stated primly. 

“Was she always like this?” Celeste asked, looking amused. 

“Unfortunately.” He said to Celeste, whose smirk widened into a devilish smile. 

Snape promptly spun on his heel and strode out the door, his robes billowed dramatically. 

“Don’t dawdle, Granger, and be sure to lock up.” He called over his shoulder. 

“Do you reckon he added material to his standard issue robes?” Caroline asked her sister. 

“Probably, although he has billowed in and out of this office since day one.” Celeste replied. 

“I think he has billowed like that from birth actually, see you later.” Hermione said, still a bit offended over being openly discussed as if she weren’t there. 

Hermione set the wards as she walked out, closing the door firmly behind her. 

* * *

Hermione wasn’t sure what she expected of Cornwall but she imagined dealing with teenagers wasn’t high on the local tourist list of fun activities or attractions. At least the weather was pleasantly sunny, London had been rainy when they apparated. There was a local motel where the Ministry had already called ahead and booked them two connecting rooms for the night. Upon arrival, they had checked in and dropped off any non-essentials, the rooms were serviceable and fairly standard. In each room there was a full size bed covered in a light blue comforter and a couple of lounge chairs, also blue, set on either side of an accent table. Hermione glanced around the room before they headed off to the first house for a family interview.

Agent Snape and herself were currently sitting on a comfortably worn dark blue sofa in the living room of a middle class, magical home trying to extract information from a 14 year old. The room held a rather new television and a large fireplace. On the mantle above the fireplace, there were several family pictures and a clock ticking away in the awkward silence between the three occupants of the room. The young witch in question was dressed in fashionable Muggle attire and giving one word answers in a bored tone of voice while sitting on an equally worn lounge chair directly across from them. Snape was quickly losing his patience and Hermione knew she wasn’t far behind him if she was honest with herself. This was the second teenager they had talked to and the first hadn’t gone much better. 

“Have you seen the actual poltergeist in your house, Miss Williams?” Snape asked. Hermione could practically hear the implied “you imbecile” at the end of the question. 

“No.” Williams said, twirling a lock of her dirty blonde hair as she sighed and looked idly around the room. 

“But you have heard strange noises and seen various items broken and strewn about different rooms in the house.” Hermione said, as she resisted the urge to reach out and yank the girl’s hand out of her hair. 

“Yes.” Williams said she looked at Hermione with dull, bored eyes. “You should use Sleakeazy’s, did you know that? It would make your hair lay flat, then you wouldn’t have so much trouble finding a boyfriend. I saw in the Prophet where your last one ran from your flat screaming. Was it because of your hair?”

Abruptly, Hermione stood and glared at Miss Williams. She leaned down and picked up her bag then turned to Snape as she said, “I’m quite done with questions for this one, I’ll be outside when you’re done.” 

With that, Hermione stalked out of the house, forcing out a “Good day” to Mr. and Mrs. Williams as she went out the door. Glancing around, she spotted a nearby park and where she planned to plop herself down on the first bench she encountered. She whipped out her mobile phone and sent a text to Snape letting him know she was in the park as she sat down on a bench nestled between two trees. She threw her head back and sighed heavily and mumbled, “What the hell does she know? Immature buffoon!” 

Hermione leaned back, placed her arms along the back of the bench, and watched the other people enjoying the sunny weather. There was a family of four with a beagle and a young couple pushing a pram. Hermione sighed wistfully as she watched both families and felt more alone as a result. Her attention was drawn back to her phone as it buzzed with Snape’s acknowledgement, which was him sending back the letter “a” for acknowledged. She had tried to explain that he could type back “k” for “okay” and he had given her a sneer for her troubles. Getting him a comparable Nokia phone had been one of her more brilliant ideas. The inspiration for which had struck her later in the evening of the break-in at Hogwarts, when she was racking her brain for a solution to that morning’s problem. No more worries over getting notices about emergencies or her inability to wake up to a Patronus message. 

It had been a strange morning when she brought the phone to him, he had apologized to her for his comment regarding her knickers the previous day. She had walked in fully prepared to demand an apology from him, armed with advice from Ginny and Luna that it would make him more respectful, then he had rendered the whole endeavour moot by doing so voluntarily. Snape had been more respectful of her since then and a bit more friendly or at best less uptight, at least for him. Which meant he didn’t openly insult her intelligence and lash out at her. That was fine, she rather enjoyed his personality these days, when the cutting remarks weren’t directed at her. If she was making a list of his attributes she enjoyed, she would certainly add his eyes and that voice. His voice still gave her chills if she wasn’t quite ready for it. 

Thinking back to earlier this morning in the office, Hermione couldn’t understand why he had remained so close to her face after bringing her chair back down to the floor. She had wanted to pull him down into the chair with her and the hell with worrying over whether they wound up on the floor or not. Snape had looked and smelled incredible and having his face so close to hers had driven away her feeble attempts to deny her attraction to him. However, there was no way he felt the same way towards her. Snape had made no attempt to hide his contempt for her over the years. Although he had been better lately...but surely that was for professional reasons, right?

“So, was it Weasley the Daily Prophet saw running away from your flat?” Snape asked, slightly tugging up the legs of his trousers beneath his robes to sit on the bench next to her. 

Hermione sighed and turned to look at her partner as she answered. “Yes, if you must know, we had a horrible row and broke up. It had been coming on for ages. We were such different people trying to make a go of it. Anyway, he wasn’t accepting the fact that I broke up with him and I lost my temper. I pulled out my wand and conjured up several large spiders to chase him out of my flat.”

Apparently, Snape couldn’t contain his laughter at the thought of the youngest male Weasley running out of Hermione’s flat chased by his greatest fear because he threw his head back and laughed. Hermione sat looking at him, a bit stunned to see him so unrestrained. It was a deep, rich sound and she wished she got to hear it more often. She couldn’t help but smile at seeing his obvious enjoyment of the story. 

“It was a rather cruel thing to do in all honesty. I knew he was deathly afraid of spiders, has been most of his life.” Hermione said, feeling a bit guilty. 

“Don’t be daft, Granger. The fool should have listened to you, if one party in a relationship says it’s over then it’s over. Anything he got after disregarding your wishes was on him.” Snape said, still smirking over the story. 

“Funny, that’s what Harry said.” Hermione stated. 

“Well even a broken clock is right twice a day. Let’s move on to this last house before dinner. I expect we will have to sit and wait for the bloody poltergeist to show up in someone’s house tonight. It seems no one has seen the little shit, despite their best efforts.” He said as he stood up from the bench and offered her his hand to stand as well. 

Smirking at his comment about Harry being a broken clock, she gratefully took his hand and stood. They walked out of the park and up the street to the last magical house on the block. 

* * *

It was a little after 6 PM when they finally walked up to a pub called The Hole in the Wall. The couple in the last house had recommended it for the outdoor seating and good pub food. It was pleasantly warm outside and the sun was setting. The hostess had them seated at a lovely wooden table outside and their drink orders taken quickly. The two agents didn’t speak until their drinks were brought out, a scotch for him and a mojito for her. 

Hermione took a sip of hers then asked, “Didn’t you find it unusual that the last house seemed completely unaffected by the poltergeist?”

“Obviously. I think the young woman living there has something to do with that.” Snape said setting his glass down and looking at her. 

“How? Do you think she’s the one going around trashing other people’s houses? Is that why she wasn’t there when we turned up?” She asked in a lower tone, glancing around to ensure no one was listening, then pulled out her wand and discreetly cast a Muffliato charm. 

Snape silently approved of her casting, he shrugged and answered as he returned his gaze to his menu, “It’s possible, although I doubt it, she could also have put the poltergeist up to it somehow. Honestly, it’s not hard to convince those fellows to get up to a bit of mischief. They thrive on it.”

“So, what do you think we need to do? Watch all three houses all night?” She asked, picking up her glass and taking another sip as she set her menu back down on the table. 

“Hardly, we’ll set wards around the last house and watch the other two. If the girl leaves, I’ll know. Those other houses are next to each other so we can easily keep an eye on both of them.” He said, looking up from his menu as the waitress approach to take their food orders. 

They placed their orders and sat in silence for a moment before Hermione spoke again. 

“How exactly are we going to catch the poltergeist and where are we going to direct it when we do?” Hermione asked, she had been itching to ask all day but there hadn’t seemed an appropriate time.

“I had wondered why you didn’t ask me that yet, I presume because you thought it would annoy me?” He said. 

“Well, you haven’t exactly been receptive to my questions in the past.” She replied, her voice tinged with annoyance. 

“And you were under the impression you had never annoyed me with irrelevant questions?” Snape asked, meeting her eyes with his own piercing gaze.

“I don’t ask annoying questions! I need the information that my queries would provide.” Hermione said firmly, meeting his stare with one of her own.

He smirked at her and replied, “Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that every single question you have ever asked was important?”

“Oh I never said important, I said I needed that information. I never said for what it was needed.” She said, smirking to herself, she had out maneuvered him there and he knew it. 

He pursed his lips for a moment then cocked an eyebrow at her before he replied, “In any case, those sorts of questions, while we are in the field, are pertinent to doing our job well so ask them. I can’t possibly know everything you need to be told and I don’t wish to insult your intelligence by walking you through everything all the time. I take pride in doing my job well, your performance is a reflection of my training.” 

“Oh but I did. Until now, we have been interviewing potential witnesses and before we left the office, if you will recall, I did attempt to ask you for the particulars of how we would handle this case.” She replied.

Snape scowled and opened his mouth to reply with what she was sure would have been unnecessarily rude but he closed it and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Fine, shall we move on to the answers you need or do you have some other carefully crafted argument to throw at me?” He said, his voice was just a touch impatient, he shifted around in his chair a bit as he looked annoyed.

“No, I believe that covers it, please continue.” Hermione said, she raised her glass under the pretense of taking another sip to hide the smile she was struggling to contain, it was almost funny that she thought he wouldn’t notice.

“There is a spell for capturing poltergeists, I will teach you later. As for the second part of your question, I think we can persuade the poltergeist to take up residence in the Bodmin jail. They give tours and it’s rumored to be haunted. The poltergeist can get up to a bit of mischief and the museum gets to enhance its reputation.” He said, back to his normal level of annoyed with her, which was just slightly.

“What can we really threaten a ghost with to get him to comply though? I mean it’s not like we can harm him, can we?” Hermione asked, she looked puzzled.

“No, but we can threaten to keep him locked in a magical enclosure in the basement of the Ministry. That has proven sufficient in the past, none of the poltergeists our department has dealt with ever take that over restricted mischief. They would much rather have the freedom to terrorize people in a limited fashion than not at all.” He said, he sipped his drink, bringing the conversation to a brief lull.

They both fell into silence for a moment before Hermione changed her line of questioning entirely.

“Do you think Dolohov broke into Hogwarts to simply wind us up? He hasn’t done anything in the last two weeks, surely he would have done something by now.” She said quietly, glancing at the older couple across the outdoor dining area.

“No, the man’s sense of humor would turn the stomach of Caligula, it certainly doesn’t include running us on a wild goose chase.” Snape said, tracing a finger absentmindedly over the condensation on the side of his glass. “He is very patient, my guess would be he is waiting, for what I don’t know. I wish I did, I suspect he is merely waiting for his opportune moment to strike.”

Hermione looked away for a moment before she locked eyes with him again, another question brewing in her mind or he would eat DB’s pellets three times a day instead of proper meals.

“If he is so vicious, why did he leave Mr. Filch alive? Why leave a witness who could clearly tell everyone he had been there?” She asked in a hushed tone.

“There are a couple reasons. One, I think Dolohov assumed he had rendered Mr. Filch incapable of remembering or coherently communicating with anyone based on how forcefully he entered the man’s mind to extract the password for the Headmistress’ office. Two, any Unforgivable cast in the castle sets off alarms and trips wards linked to the Headmistress herself. That was an added precaution after the war, there were many flaws in security that had irked Minerva and myself over the years. When the school reopened, she and I sat down and came up with solutions. The extra wards are on file with the Ministry,... although, how Dolohov would know about them is beyond me.”

Hermione looked at him thoughtfully for a moment but was prevented from continuing her line of questioning as their food arrived.Their burger and fries looked and smelled wonderful since they had worked straight through lunch. Neither spoke again until their food was nearly gone and refills on their drinks had been delivered. 

Peering at Granger over the top of his glass, Snape decided to see just how much she would tell him about her failed relationship. “So, how long has Weasley been running terrified of you?” 

She looked up, seeming rather surprised by the change of topic. “About a year and a half now. He won’t stay in the same room as me, it makes seeing my friends a bit difficult since we share the same ones.”

“Do you mean you don’t really get to see your friends because Weasley is afraid of you?” He asked, he kept his concern from showing on his face, it wouldn’t do for her to think he was overly concerned with her personal life. 

“I see them, just not as often as I used to. It’s fine really, I have Crookshanks and my work keeps me rather busy.” She replied hurriedly. 

Snape merely inclined his head towards her, it didn’t sound fine by her tone of voice but he was in no position to judge. He spent most of his time talking to a parrot and avoiding people, what the hell did he know about it?! 

“What about you?” She asked, before popping her last fry in her mouth. 

“What about me?” He asked, looking confused. 

“Do you see friends or have ...er...any potential, um I mean…” She trailed off, blushing and looking uncomfortable. 

“DB and I get along just fine without anyone else.” He said, his voice carried a hint of amusement and he waited for her to launch into a million questions. 

“Oh that’s good.” Hermione said, before she really processed what he said. Then her face was laced with confusion. “Who exactly is..”

Before she could finish her question, the waitress returned with their check and asked if they needed anything else. Snape handled the bill with a Ministry credit card, then they drained the last of their glasses and set out walking down the street to set wards around the unaffected house. 

* * *

Hermione waited quietly in the deepening darkness with Snape, both of them lounging against the trunk of a large tree with a view into both houses of interest. They were Disillusioned and had placed a Muffliato around them just in case the culprit was a person. Snape seemed perfectly content to sit silently in the dark and she was reluctant to break the silence. She looked up and saw the brilliant light show of the natural night sky, a sight she truly missed in the city. She deeply inhaled the cooling night air and plucked a few strands of grass to fiddle with as she thought.

_Who could this DB actually be?! Whose initials are D and B?....perhaps a Black or Bones I’m too young to know?!_ Hermione racked her brains to come up with plausible women… or men? She glanced over toward Snape then remembered he was Disillusioned and she wouldn’t be able to see him. Not that appearances were indicative of one’s sexual orientation, it just hadn’t crossed her mind that her newfound attraction could be towards a man completely uninterested in all women. There was really no subtle way to ask him and even if there was, she doubted she could pull off that level of subtlety. Perhaps she could talk to McGonagall about it? Surely his former colleague would know. They seemed to have a close relationship, or at least the closest anyone had with Snape. Except this cryptic DB person. 

Maybe DB was a Muggle, but then there was no telling who it was! Although, she imagined a wizard like him would have a hard time maintaining a relationship with anyone, let alone someone completely outside of the magical world. She didn’t know why she was bothering to agonize over this train of thought, he was as likely to reciprocate her feelings as Crookshanks was to take up tap dancing.

“I’m sure this has been a personal record for you.” Snape suddenly said quietly. 

Hermione pulled her attention away from her internal musings as his voice seemed to drip down her spine, she shivered slightly and asked “Personal record for what?”

“Remaining silent.” He replied. 

Hermione smiled, not that he could see that. “Yes of course, it will make for a thrilling entry in my diary. ‘Today I didn’t speak for 20 minutes, a personal best, as you know.’”

He chuckled slightly, surprising her again. “I won’t object to a bit of conversation if it helps to pass the time.”

Happiness and hope intermingled to fill her chest, Snape didn’t object to conversing with her?! She gave her head a quick shake, pull it together Granger, it’s only a conversation, not an invitation to the man’s bed.

“Alright. Have you had to do this before?” She asked. 

“What? Sit in the dark, bored out of my skull, watching a house for unusual activity?” Snape asked, his voice seemed to float to her out of the dark.

“Yes, I figure you must have done something like this during your time as a spy.” Hermione said, beginning to feel a bit put off to be having a full fledged conversation with a person she couldn’t see, it reminded her of talking to Harry under his bloody cloak.

“There were times where that was required of me. I’d really rather not discuss it.” Snape snapped harshly. 

She winced and felt a little foolish for broaching such a sensitive topic, obviously the war hadn’t been a good time for him, or her for that matter. 

“Sorry, understood. Well, um... why does this task fall to us? Why are we doing it and not someone else?” Hermione said, “Surely the Aurors are capable of doing the same thing we’re doing.”

“Indeed they are, at least theoretically. In practice, we should consider ourselves lucky they don’t break necks when they sit down. Regardless, their task lies with disruption and crimes related to magical human beings, which this is not. Poltergeists aren’t magical creatures and they aren’t Muggles. Spirits and such fall to us because they don’t fall into any other category. The Ministry views such cases as ‘nasty and unsolvable’ even though there are usually straightforward solutions.” He replied, not sounding as bored or angry as she had feared he might after her earlier question. 

Before Hermione could reply, a loud crash was heard from the Williams residence. They both sprang up and pulled their wands out before sprinting across the gap between them and the house. Just as they reached the door, Snape said in a loud whisper “Wait a moment, Granger. We’re still Disillusioned, I loathe paperwork and there would be a shitload of it if I hexed you on accident.”

Hermione stopped and Snape appeared before her eyes. He reached out in her general vicinity and accidentally brushed his hand over her breast. She quickly pushed away his hand and removed her own Disillusionment charm. His cheeks reddened slightly as she appeared in view. 

“I beg your pardon, I was hoping to assist you with your charm.” He whispered adamantly, moving his hands nervously around his body as though he didn’t know what to do with them. 

“Don’t worry about it, you had no way of knowing precisely where I was.” Hermione replied, a slight blush coloring her face as well. 

Snape opened his mouth to say something more but another crash sounded inside followed by gleeful cackling. He shook his head and turned towards the front door once more. He placed a hand on the door knob and his gaze met Hermione’s eyes as she moved to stand next to him by the door. He held up his wand and mouthed a silent countdown from three. On one, he turned the knob and burst through the door. The scene before them was pandemonium. 

A brightly dressed, small male figure was floating in the middle of a formerly spotless kitchen decorated in shades of brown and white. A large amount of the Williams’ cookware, plates, bowls, and cutlery were floating in concentric, moving rings around the island in the center of the room. The kitchen floor was covered in the pantry’s former contents as well as smashed crockery. The poltergeist was floating in the middle of the kitchen ware circles, juggling an outrageous number of bowls. He was chanting the song associated with the children’s game “duck, duck, goose” and whenever he decided it was time for another “goose” he would hurl one of the bowls at random towards the floating kitchen wares. 

As Snape and Hermione burst in he screamed “goose” again and hurled all of the bowls at them. They dove to the side, out of sight into the dining room in a flurry of robes, narrowly avoiding the barrage of ceramic. The crafty little bugger summoned all of the coffee cups and resumed his game. 

Hermione lifted her head from the wooden floor, looked at Snape, who had landed a few inches away from her and asked, “Well, how shall we handle this?”

Snape lifted then tilted his head, looked thoughtful for a moment then cocked an eyebrow and asked, “How do you feel about acting as a distraction?”

She grinned at him as she raised her torso off the floor and said “I’m game, what’s your idea?”

_Meanwhile in the kitchen_

Vex cackled again as he shrieked “GOOSE!” 

This time he shot two coffee mugs at a Pyrex casserole dish and a muffin tin. The mugs smashed beautifully but the bakeware remained blemish free. He hoped the witch and wizard would come out to play again! No one ever wanted to play with Vex. 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are my lovelies!” Vex sang out to them. 

There was no response, much to his disappointment. He turned several flips in mid air. 

“Everybody loves a round of ‘duck, duck, goose!’” He shouted, before resuming his own version of the game again. 

He spun around and flung all of his remaining mugs out in an arc as he once again yelled “Goose!” 

He summoned some of the glassware next, laughing maniacally as he began to juggle the wine glasses. 

“Alright, I’ll play. How does it work?” Came a female voice behind him. 

Vex spun around with delight etched across his features as he took in the sight of the witch standing before him. He clapped his hands in elation, which caused the wine glasses to crash to the floor. He laughed hysterically and summoned more glassware. 

“Fantastical!! It’s simple, you sing along with me and when I get to goose I’ll throw these glasses at you! You try to catch them!” He said, feeling overwhelmed by how excited he was to have someone playing along.

He didn’t wait for an answer before he launched into yelling “duck” repeatedly. The woman did her best to time her shouts of “duck” with him. He was getting more and more excited to finally yell “goose.” Vex felt that he needed to make it extra special when he finally yelled it. He let it build until finally he couldn’t take it any longer, he yelled “GOOSE!” 

Upon yelling, several things happened at once, he sent all of the floating kitchen wares directly at his playmate, she raised a wand and shouted “Protego,” and the wizard from before leapt out brandishing his wand. Suddenly, Vex found himself trapped in an impenetrable bubble. 

* * *

  
Back at their motel with their captive, Snape and Hermione were seated on the stiff chairs provided in Snape’s room as they watched the fiend struggling to break free of the magical bubble he was contained in.

“Are we waiting for him to tire out first?” Hermione finally asked, they had been watching him for around 10 minutes, she had been jiggling a foot impatient to start questioning their apprehended spirit. 

“Of course, they are much easier to talk to when they are a bit worn out.” Snape replied, his arms crossed over his chest, legs stretched before him and crossed at the ankles. 

“Did you have to deal with Peeves like this at Hogwarts?” She asked curiously, cocking her head at him as she leaned forward in her chair to better see his face. 

“During my last year, he took great pleasure in tormenting the Carrows. They complained so much and so often, I frequently found myself containing Peeves to one of these bubbles.” He said, before his mouth cracked open into a yawn he gracefully covered with one hand. 

Hermione yawned as well before asking, “Why did Peeves target the Carrows and not you? No offense but everyone thought the worst of you then.” 

Snape shrugged then answered, “No offense taken, I played my part well. Peeves knew, poltergeists can sense strong emotions as I said and he knew where my true loyalties were. I merely had a serious discussion with him after each incident to tone it down for a bit. He couldn’t stand what the Carrows were doing to the students, he was similar with Umbridge.”

Silence fell between them as Hermione reflected on the notion that Peeves had been defending the students the only way he really could. She had never considered the poltergeist as caring over much for the students. 

“He seems to have calmed down a bit now. Let’s find out where he came from, shall we?” Snape said. 

Before she could answer, he stood up, firmly placed his feet shoulder width apart and removed the silencing charm from the magical containment bubble. The poltergeist immediately blew a loud raspberry and started shouting incoherent words. Snape lazily cast a Langlock spell, effortlessly silencing the spirit again. “Now then, we need some details from you about your origins and why you’re in this town. The sooner you cooperate, the sooner you can get out of there and back into some sort of limited trouble. If you refuse, we can arrange permanent accomodations in isolation at the Ministry for Magic. Do you understand?” Snape said in a low, dangerous voice that left little doubt he was not a wizard to be trifled with. 

The floating little fellow nodded silently and the dark wizard lifted the curse. 

Hermione pulled out a notepad and pen, poised to write the spirit’s answers for the case file. 

“Let’s start simple, what is your name?” Snape asked.

“Vex.”

“Where did you come from?”

“Only ever been here.”

Snape looked puzzled by this response, Hermione was confused as well. This was the first report of a poltergeist in Bodmin, at least according to the NU Files registry of spirits in the UK. 

“How long have you been here?” Snape asked.

“A month.” Vex answered, he looked rather bored already. 

Hermione and Snape looked at each other in surprise. 

“Do you mean you’re only a month old?” Hermione asked, astonishment showing in her voice, both eyebrows raised. 

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Vex said, irritably. 

“So you were born here a month ago. Where?” Snape said, reaching his hand up to run it through his hair as he processed this information. 

“I wasn’t so much born as I was just given a consciousness really. I don’t fully understand it. You should talk to my witch.” Vex said, sounding a bit more interested now that the conversation wasn’t fixated on how young he was. 

“Your witch? Do you mean someone...created you?” Hermione asked, jaw agape after she finished her sentence. 

“Sure, Hazel had some spell she used then I had consciousness.” He said, proudly. 

“Hazel?” Snape said, the look of confusion deepening.

“Oh, that explains why the Davies house was untouched, his witch is Hazel Davies.” Hermione said, before beginning to scribble frantically in her notebook. 

Snape quirked an eyebrow at Hermione then turned his gaze back to Vex. “Indeed, we shall be having a word with her and her parents in the morning. Back to the task at hand, we are with the Ministry of Magic. Our job is to keep tabs on spiritual beings and ghosts, among other things. As such, we need to know and approve of your residence to ensure you don’t risk exposing our world to the non-magical. Understand so far, Vex?”

“Righto boss!” Vex replied cheerily. 

“We recommend that instead of tormenting two families all the time, you live in the Bodmin jail, it’s now a museum. It’s already rumored to be haunted and you can play pranks, small ones mind you, on new people everyday. Tourists visit most days so it would be fresh meat on a daily basis. How does that sound?” Snape said. 

“You mean I could come out during the day?! And I would have new people to play with everyday?!” Vex exclaimed, a smile split his face into an expression of pure joy as he turned several flips in midair. 

“Yes, you would be limited to the building, mind you and we will be checking in to ensure your continued good behavior.” Snape stated sternly, wanting to ensure he fully understood. 

Vex suddenly stopped his enthusiastic, celebratory acrobatics and his face fell as he said, “But could Hazel come visit me? I would miss seeing her.”

Hermione looked up from her writing and chewed her lower lip for a moment. “You would miss her? Do you see her often?”

“Well I live in her closet so I reckon I do! She’s the reason I wasn’t caught before now.” Vex replied, he looked at Hermione as if she was talking nonsense.

“How did she keep you from getting caught?” Snape asked, his eyes narrowed as he studied Vex.

“Well she put some charm on me, so people could hear me but not see me. She reckoned they would all think I was a ghost. And she told me which houses I should play in. She’s smart, my witch.” Vex stated proudly, his chest swelling.

Snape and Hermione looked at each other, that finally answered why no one had seen him before. 

“But she didn’t cast it on me tonight, I left before she got home. I thought if people could see me, maybe they would play with me.” Vex said, he looked sad as he continued, “I was right but now I won’t get to see my witch any more.”

“We will see what we can do about that, no promises. Now, do you agree to stay at the jail and comply with any Ministry workers that may visit to check in and ask questions?” Snape said sternly.

“Of course! I want my own place to stay all the time! I hate jumping between houses! When can I go?!” He asked, practically vibrating with excitement. 

“In a moment, I have one more question. Why do you call Miss Davies ‘your witch?’” Snape asked. 

“Because she is, I can’t really explain it. She gave me...well the ability to think of myself as me, she’s my witch.” Vex said, looking a touch thoughtful. 

“Well, that will have to do for now, I suppose. We may visit to ask you more questions about it. You may go as soon as I release you. Remember what I said about the conditions of this release.” Snape said sternly, giving the poltergeist a warning look. 

“Yes, yes I’ll remember!” Vex said impatiently. 

“Very well.” He replied, as he swept his wand the magical containment bubble disappeared. Seconds later, so did Vex, with a slight pop. 

“That’s it? We aren’t going to ask more questions than that!.” Hermioe exclaimed, she looked at Snape with surprise.

He shook his head and said, “We handled the urgent issue, now we visit the Davies’ household again to ensure Miss Davies doesn’t do something so dunderheaded again. There will be another Unspeakable assigned to check up on Vex.”

“But we discovered a previously unheard of spell that creates a poltergeist! Surely that is something the NU Files should investigate further?” She asked, astonishment still etched across her face. 

Snape reached up and unfastened his Unspeakables robes, he tossed them over the empty chair next to her. He was wearing black trousers and a white button down, this sight slightly cooled Hermione’s interest in Vex and his creation. “Any other time, if we didn’t have the Dolohov case to focus on, we would stay and more thoroughly investigate this whole situation. However, no one’s life is in danger because of this case, at this point. We have patched it up for now. We may revisit it later when we have less urgent matters to attend.” Snape said, he unbuttoned his cuffs as he spoke.

“Alright, what do you think…” Hermione began, he held up a hand for silence.

“Goodnight, Granger. We will discuss this further after we have spoken with Miss Davies.” He said, he toed off his boots then looked at her expectantly.

Meanwhile, Hermione sighed and said, “Yes, I suppose it makes sense to get the rest of the information before speculating any further.”

Snape scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, “Are you going to your room or did you think this was transitioning to a strip tease?” He asked, he narrowed his eyes at her.

Hermione felt her cheeks blazing as she sprang from her chair and started for the door connecting to her room, “So sorry, I was lost in thought. Goodnight!” She said, as she hurriedly left.

Snape chuckled at her hasty exit, she really was so easy to embarrass.  


* * *

The next morning found Hermione sipping coffee in an attempt to wake up properly. She was sitting next to Snape in one of those stiff chairs in his room again as he attempted the same. They had gone to bed in their respective rooms around 1 AM and risen at 8 AM, with the hope of meeting with the Davies family and being back in London by noon. He was immensely curious about how Miss Davies had managed to...for lack of a better term, create Vex. This would be the first documented case of a poltergeist creation that he was aware of. 

He didn’t want to appear too eager, the gods forbid Granger found out he was as keen as she was on learning. He glanced over into her coffee cup to note her progress, she was only halfway done with it. Realizing he might have to wait a bit longer to leave, he sighed and finished the remaining contents of his own mug. Snape set his mug on the small side table and laced his fingers together then brought his clasped hands up under his chin as he rested his elbows on the arms of the chair. 

Where would a 16 year old witch have gotten the knowledge to create a poltergeist?! Surely no modernly published book contained such information, it must be some obscure text. Possibly international. His hands were practically itching to get ahold of such a book. He glanced back over at Granger’s mug, to his surprise it was empty and she was staring at him. He blinked and lifted his head. 

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, untangling his fingers and bringing one hand up to rub his chin. 

“Yes, shall we?” Hermione said, she stood and picked up her bag. 

Snape stood and turned to pick up his bag, smirking when his back was turned towards Granger. She amused him to no end although he couldn’t quite put his finger on why he felt so amused by her behavior of late. 

Just a few minutes later 

Hermione walked with confidence to the white front door of the Davies residence, reached up her right hand, and knocked firmly. The front porch was small, covered with a little outreaching portion of the roof and held hanging plants on either side. The house itself was painted white with dark grey shutters. Snape was standing just a bit behind her, looking a touch impatient. A moment later, a short, brown haired woman fully dressed in Healer’s robes answered the door. 

“Good morning, Healer Davies.” Hermione said politely. 

“Good morning, Agent Granger and Agent Snape. I’m leaving for the hospital soon, what can I do for you?” Davies replied, her hand lingering on the doorknob. 

“We need to speak with you and the rest of your family regarding the poltergeist, we didn’t get to speak with everyone yesterday since your daughter was away.” Hermione said. 

“Sure, come in. My husband has already left for work in Diagon Alley, I hope that’s alright.” Healer Davies said, opening the door further to allow them both. “Just down the hall, turn right and you’ll be in the sitting room, same as yesterday. I’ll see if I can wake up Hazel, she sleeps in a lot, you know teenagers.”

“That should be fine. Thank you so much.” Hermione replied as she and Snape walked down the hallway on thick red carpet to the sitting room they had been in the evening before. It was a comfortable room, the carpet continued there accompanied by the dark brown wooden walls and a large brown leather sofa and loveseat. There was a small television and radio in addition to a few filled bookcases. The walls were decorated with several family photos, Mr. and Mrs. Davies along with their daughter Hazel at varying different ages. 

Snape walked over and stood by the sofa, seeming rather uncomfortable in another person’s house. Hermione decided to look a little less ill at ease and actually sat on the loveseat, assuming the mother and daughter would sit on the sofa. She was having an internal battle over whether she should tell Snape to come sit next to her so he didn’t look so much like a skittish deer, ready to leap off into the thicket at the first sudden noise or movement. 

“I had Miss Davies as a student.” Snape said quietly, interrupting her mental comparison of him to woodland creatures. 

“Yes, I assumed as much. I don’t remember her though, what house was she in?” Hermione said, genuinely curious. 

“Ravenclaw, very smart girl, well behaved from my recollections. I’m hoping to use that to our advantage, she will probably still treat me as an authority figure. I don’t think we will have any trouble getting the information we need from her if I ask the questions.” He said, pulled himself to his full height, walked over to stand next to Hermione, and fixed a scowl on his face. 

She merely nodded. He probably intended to intimidate the teenage witch, their previous interviews with the teenagers in town had been dull, uninformative affairs. None of them had gone to Hogwarts when Professor Snape had stalked the halls. 

A moment later, Mrs. Davies walked into the room followed by a grumpy Hazel Davies dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a white t shirt, she slouched in and flung herself down on the sofa. Her brown hair had been hastily pulled into a ponytail. 

“Sit up Hazel, these two Unspeakable Agents need to talk to us about the poltergeist terrorizing the neighborhood.” Mrs Davies said, as she sat next to the daughter on the sofa. 

The girl complied, albeit with an eye roll and exasperated sigh. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at a fixed point on the floor. 

“Thank you for welcoming us into your home for a second time. We appreciate it and we will try to keep this brief but we have some rather important questions for your daughter.” Hermione said, she crossed her legs and Snape began. 

“Indeed, we have several questions. For instance, do you have any idea as to why the poltergeist, Vex, would call you his witch, Miss Davies? Or why he claims to have lived in your closet until last night?” Snape silkily said, as he fixed his penetrant gaze on the witch in question. 

Hazel avoided his eyes and shook her head. Snape cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. 

“Really? You don’t know why this spirit would say you were the one who gave him consciousness? Or that you assisted him in eluding detection with a Disillusionment charm?” He said slowly, he drug out the words of the last sentence for emphasis. 

Mrs Davies looked at her daughter with concern, and exclaimed, “Did you create a poltergeist?! Have you been meddling in those old books from your Gran’s house again?! Last time you did that I couldn’t go near the tea kettle for getting bitten! I have told you those books are very dangerous!”

Hazel scowled at her mother. “There is nothing dangerous about those books! And Vex isn’t dangerous either! He just wants to have a bit of fun!”

“It is incredibly dangerous! These books sound like they contain Dark magic, not an area of magic one can simply dabble in safely. You are incredibly lucky you didn’t manage to kill yourself or your parents! Between your stupidity and that fool Vex, you have jeopardized the security and secrecy of our world!” Snape growled menacingly. “Agent Granger and I will have to report you and your behavior to the Ministry. You won’t be expelled from Hogwarts, this time. However, future offenses will not be handled as lightly. Do you understand, Miss Davies?”

As Snape had berated her, Hazel’s face had paled and her mouth opened in fear as her eyes widened. “Yes, sir.” She replied, she looked horrified and chastised. 

“Good. Now, you should expect a warning letter from the office of Underage Use of Magic as well as a home visit from a representative in that department. I expect they will wish to place a monitoring bracelet on you to ensure you don’t continue to use magic outside of school.” Snape said, in a satisfied tone. “I hope you appreciate the magnitude of what you have done and just how lucky you are it didn’t result in something far worse.”

“He is absolutely right! I am so sorry, Agents! She has been having a bit of trouble lately and…” Mrs. Davies said but her daughter interrupted. 

“I’m not the one having trouble! It’s you and Dad having trouble, I’m just caught in the middle.” Hazel said angrily, she glared at her mother. 

“You will not take that tone with me in front of guests.” Mrs. Davis said firmly, as she fixed her daughter with a look that all children recognized as “The Look” that led to further reprimanding after the company had left.

“Mrs. Davies, you mentioned some books? I think it’s best if we take them to investigate precisely what she did and make sure the other books are safe as well.” Hermione said soothingly to the older witch who was looking upset and angry in turns as well as, Hermione was also changing the subject from the discussion of apparent marriage troubles. 

“Yes, please take them, I wouldn’t want Hazel getting into any more trouble with them.” She said, she stood abruptly, seemingly glad for a reason to move their visit along, “I’ll show you where we keep them.” 

The four of them headed down into the basement, descending a creaking set of steps into the damp, dimly lit space with cinder block walls. It wasn’t very large, the room was obviously used for storage and little else. 

“We used an Impervious charm to protect the boxes holding the books. It’s just these two large ones here.” Mrs. Davies said, she gestured to the boxes then turned to her daughter as she continued, “Which book did you use to make this poltergeist?” 

Hazel opened the box closest to them and reached inside. She pulled out an old, tattered journal and handed it to Snape. “I found this when I was having a poke around in this box. It’s a journal detailing this wizard’s research on spirits and the spiritual world. I couldn’t figure out his name.” Hazel said, apologetically. 

Snape gently took the book and tucked it into his bag before he pulled out his wand and vanished the boxes, presumably back to their office. “I take it you don’t need these books back?” Snape said, raising both eyebrows as he looked at Mrs. Davies. 

“No, not as long as I have a daughter that thinks she can follow whatever spell she finds in a book.” Mrs. Davies said, casting a stern gaze at her daughter, who shrunk visibly under her mother’s eyes. “You will be cleaning this entire house top to bottom the Muggle way every single day for the rest of this summer and you will offer to do the same for those two families that dealt with your poltergeist. And then…”

“I hate to interrupt but we must get back to London. You can expect someone within a few days to officially address the Underage Use of Magic.” Snape said, he indeed looked disappointed he would miss the full details of the girl’s punishment. 

“Of course, Agent Snape! Thank you so much for getting this whole situation sorted. You too, Agent Granger. Have a safe trip back and let us know if we can help out further. You can apparate from the back garden if you wish.” She said, warmly, in sharp contrast to the tone her daughter had received moments before. Hermione was strongly reminded of Mrs. Weasley and how she berated her children but could turn to speak to someone else with such a honeyed tone you wouldn’t know she had just called her child a fool six different ways. 

A few minutes later saw them spinning out of sight, back to the Ministry and the continued investigation of their frustrating case. 

* * *

  
It was nearly sunset, Antonin Dolohov was leaving the house he had been watching that day. The family inside was definitely magical, both parents had been using their wands in plain sight. He was beginning to feel frustrated, why was it so difficult to find the family he was seeking?!

He pulled himself upright out of the hedge he had been crouching in that day. Sighing heavily, he apparated back to his hideaway. As his feet slammed into the ground, he felt a slight ping reverberate through his magical core. A wolfish grin wrapped itself around his features, the family who had been on holiday were finally home. He became excited, practically shaking with emotion, but took a deep breath to calm himself. There was a bit of planning to do, he wanted to ensure he welcomed them home properly after all this waiting he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a quick reminder that Hazel Davies would get a monitoring bracelet because the underage Trace only detects magic happening in the vicinity of the underage witch or wizard (ex. Harry getting blamed for Dobby's levitation charm). So, the Ministry can't differentiate between her parents and her magic and she has clearly shown that she requires more supervision.


	7. Innocent Schemes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so it’s been three weeks since the last update to this story, sorry about that! But I did post a one shot so maybe that makes up for it? Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Just as a heads up, there will discussion of mental health and antidepressants. I know many people who take them to great effect, and I know people who rely entirely on therapy for their mental health. I personally couldn’t function at work on those types of medications and use other means to cope (like writing) so please don’t feel that I am against medical treatments for mental health. I simply know that they don’t work for everyone and each person must figure out what works best for them.

“You were from a perfect world  
A world that threw me away today, today, today  
to run away  
A pill to make you numb  
A pill to make you dumb  
A pill to make you anybody else  
But all the drugs in this world  
Won't save her from herself”  
-Marilyn Manson, Coma White

 

Snape flung open the door to the NU Files office and stalked in, hot on his heels was Hermione, arguing with him animatedly, a glare that would have made McGonagall proud wrinkled her face as she gesticulated with her hands wildly. “I don’t understand why I have to write the report and you get to read the journal.” She exclaimed at him as she stepped into the office after him, closing the door behind her. 

“It’s called division of labor, I am delegating tasks so we can get the report in and go home a bit early since we did an overnight case.” Snape said, he walked over the filing cabinets to pick up a case report form as he continued talking but not to Hermione. “Good afternoon, ladies”

“Hey good looking, how was Cornwall and the poltergeist?” Celeste asked eagerly.

“We stumbled across a newly made poltergeist by the name of Vex. I have the journal used by that foolish teenage witch to create him.” Snape answered, as he reached into his bag, pulled out the journal, and showed it to them.

“Oh wow! We’ve never had a report of a brand new poltergeist! We always wondered where they came from but no one had the opportunity to find one who could remember coming into being, what a rare find!” Caroline exclaimed, her face alight with interest, “You will tell us what the journal says and who wrote it, won’t you, Severus?”

“Of course, I have to give a summary to Granger for the report she’s writing up.” Snape said, with a slight smirk and wink to the sisters. 

Hermione’s scowl deepened as she set her bag on her desk and walked over to the boxes of books from the Davies residence. “Well can I at least take a peek at these?” 

She pulled out her wand and magically opened the boxes, only for a horrid sulfur smell to immediately fill the small space of the office. Snape quickly covered his nose and opened the door to their office and Hermione stepped back, waving her hand in front of her face and coughing. “Merlin, what died in there?!” She exclaimed, one hand going up to cover her nose. 

“Nothing, that’s what happens when Dark magic texts are sealed in boxes, they haven’t been allowed to breathe. It’s not common knowledge among modern Hogwarts graduates because Dumbledore treated the Dark Arts like a venomous snake destined to strike.” He said, as he conjured a large fan to blow the foul air out of the office, then continued, “However, it is more like a venomous snake that you can live alongside and observe, plenty of Muggle scientists study venomous snakes without getting fatally bitten. You just have to know what you are doing and exercise extreme caution, not barrel into it like some blundering baboon.”

“What causes the smell?” She asked, approaching the box with caution to peer inside. 

“It’s a potion that book binders are required to apply to the cover of any book that could contain material falling under the general heading of the Dark Arts. This is a legal issue, there were so many cases of witches and wizards inheriting or stumbling across boxes or trunks of books that, unbeknownst to them, contained a cursed Dark Arts book. They reached in and fell victim to said cursed item. So the Ministry made it illegal to publish a book considered Dark without the application of this potion.” He replied, as he came to stand next to her and peer into the box. “We will have to go through this with care and identify the Dark texts to be analyzed further. Now, the sooner you write that report, the sooner we can start our weekend.” 

“Well that doesn’t sound like it would be very effective. If I wanted to curse someone and I knew about that potion, and if I were a Dark witch I would surely know about it, I would just put the curse on another book about some innocuous topic.” Hermione said, ignoring his last sentence and lifting the flap of the box to visually inspect books on the other side of it. 

“Indeed, minds more devious than your own have hit on this very notion. Nevertheless, the law remains and sealed up Dark Arts books leave rooms uninhabitable.” Snape said, as he quit his cursory examination of the box’s contents to raise an eyebrow at Hermione. “Now, quit stalling and write up the report, I don’t intend to spend the weekend here with you.”

Hermione drug her attention away from the box to resume her previous activity, glaring at him. He flipped open the cover of the journal and was attempting to discern the former owner’s name on the inside while stepping towards his desk, her glare went unnoticed. “I still think you should write the report and I read the journal. You have written far more of them than I have so you will get it done much faster.” She said, annoyed that he wouldn’t even look at her while she was glaring at him. 

“No, you will write the report, you need the practice and experience. The sooner you are done with learning all of the procedures, the sooner I can trust you to be independent and not need babysitting.” He answered, stopping en route to his desk and looking up from the cursive writing under his nose, “I’m sure you will write far more than necessary in the report if you read the journal. As I recall, you seem to struggle with picking out the important, relevant information on a topic and opt for simply regurgitating all of it.”

She gasped like he had thrown cold water down her robes and placed her hands on her hips as she answered heatedly, “I can certainly pick out important, relevant information, I merely believe in being thorough!” 

“There is a difference between being thorough and writing down every miniscule detail you may know about an event or spell. For this report, as I repeatedly asked of you with essays, you want to be concise and to the point. No extraneous information such as the color of the furniture in the homes we visited.” He said, secretly enjoying how annoyed Granger was with him. 

Hermione’s cheeks turned slightly pink and she answered, “My essays were always concise and to the point, I merely had more points and incorporated more information than the other students. And of course I’m not going to write about the furniture, I know you don’t think I’m that daft!”

He merely looked at her for a moment, expression blank, letting the silence thicken before he cocked an eyebrow and said. “Don’t I?”

“I know you don’t think that! You are merely attempting to wind me up. Which is not working.” She replied, through clenched teeth with arms stretched out stiffly at her sides, fists balled up to show white knuckles. 

“Really? From where I’m standing, you look pretty tightly wound.” Snape said, raising both eyebrows as he ran his eyes up and down her very stiff form. 

“Ooooooh! You are so infuriating! Can I at least take a quick look at the journal?” She said, reaching out towards it.

He immediately moved the book away, closer to his body. “No.”

“Come on, just a quick look.” She said, stepping closer to him and reaching further for it.

Snape held the book up and away from her as she stepped closer, repeating his previous answer. He brought his empty hand up with the intention of merely gesturing for her to stop advancing on him. However, she moved so quickly he changed tactics and used the raised hand to hold her back by whatever part of her he came in contact. The result was his hand coming up to hold her away by her face. 

“Hmph! Gi’ your han’ of my faphe!” came the muffled protest around the palm of his hand.

He immediately removed his hand and Hermione yanked her wand out of her sleeve quickly and tried to nonverbally summon the book from his other hand, Snape reached out and batted her wand away, out of her hand. The result was the book flying out of his clutching hand and across the room. The two of them made eye contact then made a mad scramble to be the first one to get to it, robes tangling around both of them. Hermione shoved Snape to the side, who promptly tripped her, causing her to fall on the slightly grimy floor. He took another step then bent down to pick up the book as she got her feet beneath her again. She flung herself at him, knocking him to the ground and on his back.

“Tear off his shirt, Granger!” Caroline yelled, as she jumped and pumped a fist in the air next to her sister in their frame.

Celeste looked at her appalled and shook her head before she said, “She should do no such thing!”

Caroline stopped jumping and looked at her sister’s serious expression, “What are you on about?!”

“She should go for his trousers.” Celeste said, as she winked at her sister.

Caroline grinned wickedly back at her, “Indeed she should! Go for his trousers, Granger!” Caroline yelled the last sentence at the two Unspeakable Agents tussling on the floor. 

Hermione was lying flush against Snape on the floor, her arms fully extended towards his equally stretched arm as she desperately tried to snatch away the book in his clutches. They were both ignoring the shouts of encouragement coming from the Snoddy sisters’ portrait, each intent on either keeping the book or gaining possession of it. Snape was trying to get his coworker to see reason.

“This type of behavior is completely undignified and immature, Granger!” He managed to say as she started pulling at the sleeves of his robes to bring his hand closer to hers. His free arm was wrapped firmly around her frame to prevent the bushy-headed wildcat from crawling up his body. He could barely see for his hair, which was covering half of his face, somehow part of his robes had also gotten flipped up over half of his face.

“I agree, I can’t believe you’re acting in such a manner, very unbecoming you know. You should just hand the journal over to me.” She said slightly breathlessly, her voice muffled by a combination of her hair, his robes, and her robes. 

“Tickle him!” Celeste shouted out of her frame. 

Hermione and Snape simultaneously looked up at the picture then back down into each others’ eyes. Hermione blew her hair out of her mouth and tossed it fully out of her eyes as her face lit up and a mischievous look of determination spread across her features, meanwhile Snape tried in vain to push his hair and robes off of his face with a shoulder, he narrowed his eyes and scowled at her as he tightened the arm encircling her. “Don’t. You. Dare. Granger.” He growled at her through clenched teeth. 

Experimentally, she snaked her hands down to either side of his rib cage and began vigorously wriggling her fingers over him as he squirmed about trying to stop her prodding of his sides. He forced his face to remain passive as he triumphantly said, “I am not ticklish, even if I were, you wouldn’t be able to get through these robes.”

“Nonsense, everybody is ticklish, I just need to find the right spot.” She said with determination, she moved her hands to rake her fingers over his abdomen. 

This apparently was his undoing. It started as his chest attempting to force out laughter that he was desperately fending off. Hermione felt his chest shuddering and knew she had found the exact vulnerability she was looking for, she doubled her efforts on his midsection with a triumphant shout, “Gotcha!” 

Snape started wheezing out silent laughter, still preventing himself from unleashing the deep throaty, bellowing laughter his body seemed determined to force out of him. Seeing no other course of action that would spare him the humiliation of full out laughing whilst being tickled by his partner, Snape suddenly wrapped his other arm around her and rolled over on top of her. This immediately stopped the tickling as he panted to catch his breath, red in the face from laughing. As he panted in her face and she panted in his from the exertion of their impromptu wrestling match, their bodies pressed tightly against each other, Snape became aware of a new problem that would be far more humiliating than laughing helplessly at her mercy. 

“Oi! What’s going on in here?! Get off her, you greasy-…” 

This was followed quickly by noises of disgust from the Snoddy sisters, who had been cheering and shouting with great enthusiasm after Hermione had found a ticklish spot on Snape.

Ronald Weasley did not get to finish his sentence as Snape’s wand was quickly pressed into his neck. Snape knew he was a disheveled wreck, his hair could have passed for a bird’s nest and his robes were pushed down and hitched up in a number of places. That didn’t mean he wanted to be admonished for the compromising situation they had been found in by Auror Weasley. Ron held his hands up as he nervously made eye contact with Snape. 

“Choose your next words carefully, Auror Weasley. You see much like Agent Granger, I have no reservations regarding the exploitation of an adversary’s known weaknesses.” Snape said, his voice soft and dangerous, as he used his free hand to somewhat straighten up his appearance. “Although, it may take me a moment to select my favorite from the exhaustive list of yours.”

Ron swallowed nervously and opened his mouth to speak as Harry strolled in casually, hands in his pockets. He had his long hair pulled back and his facial hair was trimmed a bit closer today. Upon encountering the scene in the office, he froze and looked between Snape and Ron. Hermione was standing behind Snape, looking a bit disheveled but no more than Snape. 

Ron turned to Harry with a tumultuous mixture of emotions on his face, the main one at seeing him was relief. “Harry, he was forcing himself on Hermione! I walked in and saw it!” Ron exclaimed, he had not moved since Snape pressed his wand in the younger wizard’s neck.

“Rubbish, he did no such thing!”

“Of course not, you imbecile!”

Snape and Hermione had exclaimed simultaneously, both glared at Ron. 

“Alright, well what happened then?” Harry said, looking between the three of them with exasperation.

Snape lowered his wand as all three of them started talking at once, the result being an unintelligible jumble of the English language. Harry held up his hands for silence, his eyes closed in frustration. He brought a hand up to rub his scar out of habit, as they quieted down he pointed at Ron. “What did you see?” He asked, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Ron expectantly.

“Well, we both heard yelling when we got off the lift. I ran ahead, I dunno what you were saying about some portrait. Anyways, I walked in and there he was pinning her to the floor panting like some disgusting dog on top of her.” Ron spat, eyeing Snape’s wand as he brought it up to aim menacingly at Ron again.

Harry raised both of his eyebrows at this and shifted his focus to Snape and Hermione who were both still red in the face.

“Is this what he saw?” He asked the two Unspeakable Agents, surprise in his voice with a hint of disbelief. 

Hermione glanced at Snape who was glaring daggers at Ron, she opened her mouth to explain it but Ron cut in, “Oh come on Harry, she’s going to deny it. It’s against policy to have...relations with a supervisor and she is still technically under his supervision.” 

“Which is it Ron, he was either forcing himself on her or she was a willing party. It can’t be both.” Harry said, a bit exasperated as he continued, “Also, her department views her and Agent Snape as equals in terms of status. Any...relations wouldn’t be a violation, except if they took place during work hours, which I doubt either of them would do. They both fancy rules so much reading a Ministry document outlining the rules would probably be their foreplay.”

Meanwhile, Caroline and Celeste were chuckling in their frame over use of the word “relations.” 

“Merlin, Harry! We weren’t involved in any dalliance or sordid act. And I don’t fancy rules, I just didn’t want to get expelled from school everytime you two had some harebrained notion or other. I have no problem breaking a rule for good reason.” Hermione said

“Indeed, so take your jealous rage elsewhere, Auror Weasley. Agent Granger and I were not in the throws of passion you seem to have assumed when you barged in here like a charging Gryffindor-...or is it bull? I am terrible at remembering Muggle expressions.” Snape said, watching the emotions play across Ron’s face.

“Well, what were you doing then? Was she helping you find your wand?” Ron asked with a sneer.

Hermione’s blush deepened further in her anger at Ron and his immature show of jealousy, as Snape’s face darkened as well and his scowl deepened. They both looked ready to upbraid Ron when Caroline and Celeste spoke up.

“There is a cursed book in one of those boxes.” Caroline said, subtly nudging her sister. 

“That’s right, when Agent Granger opened the boxes a curse came out and Agent Snape tackled her to the ground, narrowly avoiding it himself.” Celeste said, looking highly satisfied with the lie she and her sister had invented on the spot. 

Harry raised his eyebrows at this and looked at Snape and Hermione for confirmation. Hermione scoffed and quickly said, “Well they certainly don't have any reason to lie about it now do they?” 

Snape sneered and said, “Precisely, do you intend to arrest me for preventing my partner from getting curse?”

“Of course not! I just wanted to be sure, no one is getting arrested!” Harry said, irritably as he looked up at the ceiling as if he would find some patience or a way out of this conversation. 

Caroline spoke again, “Although, you can lock me up with your handcuffs anytime, Auror Potter. I bet there are a few challenging feats you can perform twice other than survive the killing curse.”

Caroline winked at him as her sister started laughing at the repulsed reactions of the room’s occupants. It was now Ron and Harry doing the blushing. Harry rubbed the back of his neck in extreme discomfort, he avoided making eye contact with either of the Snoddy sisters as he spoke, “Right then, well thanks for clearing that up, Unspeakable Snoddy.”

“No need for such formality, please call me Caroline.” She replied, smirking at his discomfort.

“Yeah, I probably won’t do that.” He said, with a weak smile. 

Snape had tolerated quite enough of his former students’ shenanigans for one afternoon and wanted to get on with his weekend. He fixed a sneer on his face as he addressed the two Aurors again.

“Unlike the two of you, some of us have important work to do before the workday is over. Did you lot come down here merely to offer your delightful company or was there a purpose to this intrusion?” He said, his words practically dripping with scorn.

“Chief Ox sent us to find out what happened with the poltergeist in Cornwall. He wants to know if the situation has been taken care of.” Ron replied, looking grateful to get on with why he was there. 

Snape rolled his eyes and said “Obviously we’ve taken care of it or we wouldn’t be back yet.”

Hermione scoffed and said, “We’ve only just gotten back, how does he expect to get a report if he sends you two down here to bother us asking about it as soon as we walk in?”

Ron held up his hands defensively as he said, “Don’t shoot the messenger, he just came to my desk and yelled at me to find out if the Mums took care of the situation in Bodmin.” 

Harry waved his hands at Ron in mild panic as he said “Mums” but the only acknowledgement of Harry’s efforts to stop him was a puzzled look on the redhead’s face. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him then raised her head and stuck out her chin. 

“Well, Auror Weasley, you can inform your Chief that the Unspeakables have handled the situation and he can expect a copy of the report by the end of the day. Now, carry your sorry arse back up to the Auror’s department and if you ever call me or Agent Snape a ‘Mum’ again in my hearing, enormous spiders will look like a dream compared to what I will do to you!” Hermione said, the volume of her voice increasing as she spoke until she was nearly shouting the last few words at him. 

Ron cringed as she practically yelled at him, he physically backed up a few steps until he was out the door as she was speaking. “So sorry to interrupt your important work of lying on the floor beneath the bat in a dungeon, I expect you want to get back to...to helping him find his wand. I hear it can take a bit longer with age.” He said angrily, before stomping off to the lift. 

“Why you insolent little-” Snape said, rushing a few steps towards the door, wand at the ready, Hermione was right behind him, wand retrieved and out as well.

Harry stepped over and blocked the doorway, facing down two of the most magically and intellectually intimidating people in the whole of the UK. He was met with dangerous expressions, Snape was so upset a few sparks shot out of his wand as he spoke. 

“Get out of my way, Potter. Weasley needs a few lessons in proper behavior.” Snape spat, his face lined with his anger.

“He isn’t worth losing your job over, and I doubt anyone else working for the Ministry has a chance of catching Dolohov. So please, for the love of Merlin, don’t get fired because Ron is an idiot.” Harry said, both arms outstretched in what would surely be a poor attempt to physically stop the two of them from getting through the doorway should they try.

Snape’s face slowly morphed into an expression of thoughtfulness as his words sunk in while Hermione sighed and put her wand away. “You’re right, Harry. Gods, he has always known exactly what to say or do to get right under my skin.” 

“For future reference Potter, your wand would do a much better job of restraining two other people carrying wands. If we had really wanted to get past you, it would have been incredibly easy.” Snape said before he turned, picked up the journal off the floor and walked over to his desk.

Harry grinned at him and shrugged as he said “I know, but I thought pulling my wand on two of the most powerful people in the whole of Wizarding England was not going to end well for me. I just wanted to make you stop and think for a moment before you did something you might regret.” 

Snape raised an eyebrow at him and gave a single slow nod before waving his hand in a shooing motion as he said “Well, off with you, join the witless Weasley and go deliver your message to that dunderhead they call Ox.”

Caroline spoke up then, “Now, Severus, don’t be so hasty! Maybe Auror Potter came to visit us, Twiddledum never mentioned that lobcock1 asking Potter to come down here.”

Harry flushed slightly and Snape looked at him with amusement as the Auror hurried to say, “No, I wasn’t sent down by Chief Ox, Ginny wanted me to ask Hermione to come out for drinks tonight.”

Smiling tiredly at him, Hermione replied, “Thanks Harry, please send my regards to Gin but I’m absolutely exhausted. Once we finish this report, I’m heading home to catch up on the sleep I lost last night.” 

Harry looked concerned as he pushed his glasses back up his nose before he said, “Are you sure? You haven’t been out with us in ages, haven’t had a chance to properly celebrate you finishing your training and getting this assignment.”

“Really, Harry. Another time, maybe next Friday night.” She said, she bent down and retrieved the report form that had fallen to the floor then turned her attention back to Harry as he spoke. 

“Alright, if you’re sure. We miss you, but I understand. Ginny might send you a fierce note but you knew that. Have a good weekend, see you later, Snape.” Harry said, then looked at their portrait as he added, “and you too ladies.” 

With those final words and a general wave, Harry walked out and up the hallway to the lift. Hermione closed the door behind him and leaned against for a moment before turning towards the Snoddy sisters.

“That was a brilliant lie, thanks.” She said, sincerely grateful they hadn’t told what had actually transpired before her friends had walked in the office.

Snape looked up from his reading, reading glasses perched on his nose, to add, “Indeed ladies, well done.”

Celeste grinned as she said, “Come now, we couldn’t have them getting you two fired! You’re the most interesting people to work in this office since...well, us really.”

Caroline nodded enthusiastically as she said, “True! And who knows what we would get stuck with if they sacked you lot. Probably someone like that Auror Wallenby.”

Hermione laughed as she corrected her, “It’s Weasley. He’s- well he needs work, I’ll put it that way.”

“Too bloody true!” Celeste grumbled to her sister. 

“Well, we’ll see you two on Monday. We’re off to a family reunion at one of our former houses. Gotta get there before everyone else so we can discuss the full event in detail together later on.” Caroline said cheerfully. 

After farewells were said all around, Hermione sighed and walked over to her desk.The fact that she had wrestled her coworker on the floor and proceeded to tickle him seemed to hang over the room like an oppressive stormcloud neither of them were acknowledging. A heavy blanket of silence enveloped them both as she pulled out her notes and prepared her quill to write up the report. The scratching of her quill seemed to fill the air a bit but felt unnaturally loud, she never thought she would miss the Snoddy sisters conversations and general rustling in the background. She decided to act as though their earlier actions over the journal had not occurred and focused on writing her report at top speed. The sooner she wrote up this report, the sooner she could get the hell out of there. 

_Two hours later_

Hermione laid down her quill and stretched in satisfaction. The bloody report was done and she only needed Snape’s summary to add to it before she could leave for the weekend. She was looking forward to this weekend, the previous two had been spent in a state of anxiety over Dolohov and what he may be doing. Now, she felt that maybe his plan hadn’t worked, whatever it was and her anxiety over his actions had lessened. She still intended to continue her research for an answer to what he was trying to do but she didn’t feel as pressured for it at the moment. 

Turning her chair, she saw Snape was completely engrossed in the journal. Next to it lay a sheet of parchment bearing his spiky handwriting. Hesitant to interrupt his reading but eager to get home, she gently cleared her throat. When that didn’t draw his attention, she said “Agent Snape, I’m finished with my part of the report.” 

“Here, just stick this in with it. See you Monday.” He said, his left hand lifted the sheet and held it out to her, never taking his eyes off of the page. 

A bit annoyed to be seemingly dismissed in such a way, she snatched the paper away from his grip and put it none-too-gently in the folder next to her report. “Fine,” She said, “see you Monday.”

Hermione pulled out her wand and tapped the folder, a duplicate appeared on top of the original. Stepping across the room to the filing cabinet, she filed the original under ‘Unauthorized Dark Magics’ although she disagreed with this placement, that was where all of the poltergeist cases had been filed. She turned back to her desk and scooped up her bag, still annoyed with him, she walked out without saying another word, closing the door a bit harder than was strictly necessary. She would drop off the file with the front desk in the Auror’s department then finally go home. 

_After the door closed…_

When he felt certain Hermione wasn’t coming back to the office, he sat back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, a grimace on his face. He slid off his glasses and carelessly tossed them on to his desk as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. _What the hell is the matter with you?_ He thought, _wrestling with Granger on the floor then rolling on top of her?! She could have cried sexual harassment at any point and no one would have blamed her._ Snape sat forward in his chair again and rested his face in his hands, elbows firmly planted on the desktop. A tiny voice protested his internal castigation, _but you could have too, you know. She tackled you ol’ chap, not the other way ‘round._

Feeling no desire to sit at work and continue this fruitless internal debate, he stood from his desk. After he tucked the journal into his messenger bag to continue reading at home, he closed the door to the office behind him and added his usual set of wards to it before striding up the hallway to the lifts. The journey up to the atrium and the Floos was filled with internal questions he suspected he would never be able to answer. Why did she tackle him to the floor? Why had she jumped at the opportunity to tickle him after the Snoddys suggested it? Had Granger perhaps enjoyed their physical altercation? Would she think of him lying on top of her later that evening when she had laid down to sleep? 

Merlin knows he would be able to think of little else. Snape walked across the lobby, pondering these questions that were circling his mind like water around a drain, at least water in a drain eventually got somewhere, the only place these questions were likely to take him was his couch, equipped with a bottle of scotch drank in the company of DB perched next to him in the sitting room. Sighing heavily, he walked up to a vacant Floo fireplace and grabbed a handful of the necessary powder. Tossing it in, he stepped forward and very clearly said, “Spinner’s End, Snape residence.” Green flames shot up to dance around him as he whirled off through the Floo network. 

He landed in his own fireplace and stepped out to be enthusiastically greeted by DB. 

“You’re home!” DB exclaimed, flapping his way over to perch on the mantel. 

After he kicked off his boots, he reached out and stroked the bird’s head as he said, “Hey DB, were you good for Minerva while I was away?”

The beautiful parrot puffed up his chest and ruffled his feathers importantly as he answered, “Of course! I’m a good boy!”

Snape smirked at his pet and said “Yes, I suppose you are.”

Turning around, he removed his Unspeakables robes and banished them to his laundry room. Then he unbuttoned the top buttons of his white button down before walking into the kitchen. DB followed him with a rustling of feathers, he landed on the counter and squawked, “Dinner time!” 

Opening the refrigerator, Snape searched briefly for some dinner to give DB. He settled on the broccoli sitting in the crisper. DB was soon happily munching on the broccoli after Snape had made quick work of cutting it up with a slicing charm. 

Cold air swirled around his head as he dug through the freezer for something to cook for himself. After a brief deliberation, he decided on the lasagna, which he put in the oven then set a timer for, what seemed to him, an ungodly amount of time to wait. Heating things up with a wand was faster but it did not taste nearly as good as properly cooked food, so wait he would. 

With a fizzy Vimto2 in hand, he returned to his sitting room to wait for his dinner. He sipped his drink, remembering when it would have been a rare treat for him to have a soft drink in this house. Setting his drink on the side table next to his chair, he searched for his remote controls. After a couple minutes of fruitless searching, he pulled out his wand and summoned them. They came flying from under his other lounge chair, one had a note fixed to it. Frowning slightly at the note, he pulled it off the remote and read it.

_Don’t forget to call on old friends who watch your bird while you’re away._

Smirking to himself, he set the remotes down next to his drink and stepped over to the fireplace. After tossing a handful of Floo powder in, he stuck his head into the green flames and said, “Headmistress McGonagall’s personal chambers.” 

His head spun through until it lurched to a stop and he was staring down at a burgundy hearth rug. Peering out, he didn’t see any sign of Minerva about, so he called out to her, “Minerva! Are you in?”

“Yes! Hold on Severus, I’m coming,” came a voice from somewhere else in the room.

Muffled footsteps approached the fireplace as he waited, then a pair of emerald sweatpants clad legs, that ended in grey tabby cat shaped slippers, were before him. Tracking his gaze upward, he also observed that the person before him was wearing a light purple sweatshirt that had a large barn owl taking up most of the front that wasn’t already covered in the words ‘I’m a hoot.’ The head sticking up above the ridiculous sweatshirt was incongruous with the entire ensemble he had just taken in. 

Minerva McGonagall smiled down at him, her hair still pulled back in a severe bun, seeming to clash with the casual attire on her person. “I see you made it back from Cornwall in one piece and you got my note.”

Shaking his head slightly in an attempt to ignore her atypical outfit, he answered, “Yes, very much intact. Thank you for feeding DB and keeping him company while I was away. Why did you hide the remotes and the note?”

“Because I was concerned that you might just see the note and ignore it if I left it in plain sight with your remotes. And I did want to talk to you, it’s been ages and I want to hear about how you’re doing. So, step back, I’m coming through.” She said, leaving no room for argument. 

Severus pulled his head back through the fireplace and stepped back to allow Minerva room to come through. A few minutes later saw them both sitting in the lounge chairs, drinks in hand as he detailed the case in Cornwall. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have been able to provide the full story but Minerva would be receiving a copy of the report since Hazel Davies was still a student. She would have to keep a close eye on her for similar behavior once the young witch was back at school. 

When he was done, McGonagall looked at him thoughtfully before saying, “It sounds as if you and Miss Granger are working together rather well. I’m glad to hear it, I was initially unsure of that arrangement. The two of you are alike in many ways and that tends to result in tense working situations.”

Raising an eyebrow, he said, “We are nothing alike, but we are working together better than I thought we would.”

“Bullshite, as students you were very much alike. If it hadn’t been for that incident with the troll, Miss Granger would have been exactly like you in school.” She said, sipping her drink. 

“The incident with the troll? What does that have to do with anything? Were you drinking when I called you?” He said brow furrowed. 

“That’s how she became friends with Potter and Weasley. Actually, that brought her even with you almost. She had two close friends but you only ever had one.” Minerva said thoughtfully, ignoring his last question entirely. 

“Thank you for reminding me I have only ever had one friend who evokes such warm memories as her early death.” Snape said, irritably with a scowl, “Now I remember why I don’t enjoy having guests over.”

“Oh come now, Severus! I didn’t mean it that way and you know it! You had other friends then and more since but I’m talking about real close friends. Someone you share a true connection with, you know?” She said, looking annoyed with him, “I like to think I’m your friend but we aren’t as close as I think you need.” 

He sighed heavily, then said, “What are you on about, Minerva?”

She took a sip from her drink and didn’t answer him for a moment, seeming to gather her thoughts as she looked at anything in the room but him. Finally, she spoke, “How is the antidepressant potion coming along? Have you hit on something that works?” 

Momentarily confused by the seemingly abrupt change in topic, he blinked in surprise then said, “Fine, it works just fine.”

A rustling of feathers accompanied by a loud squawk of “Aunt Minnie!” announced the entrance of DB from the kitchen. He landed on the arm of Minvera’s chair and looked up at her happily as she stroked his head.

“Hello DB! Has Severus been treating you well since he got back?” She asked, smiling indulgently down at the bird.

“He lies! It makes him weird.” DB exclaimed at the now frowning witch in reference to the potion she was questioning him about.

Turning the focus of her frown over to Severus, who squirmed slightly under her gaze, she said, “What does he mean Severus? How does it make you weird?”

“Well, it sort of- it definitely helps with the depressed mood but there is a lack of...emotional regulation. I find myself incapable of controlling my emotions at times and I frequently find myself acting a bit out of character.” He admitted, avoiding her eyes and scowling at DB for what in his mind amounted to betrayal.

Minerva looked at him thoughtfully then said, “You’ve been working on this for two years, right?”

He nodded, not sure where she was going with this. 

“And you did it because your therapist said antidepressants help some people improve more quickly than without. But since you can’t take Muggle medicines, you have been trying to come up with an equivalent potion.” She said, pausing for a moment before continuing, “Has it not occurred to you that maybe your depressed mood has improved because you’ve been in therapy for two years and not due to your potion, meaning you don’t need it? Or the potion isn’t working at all, it is in rather early stages of development to know if it even does anything for depression.”

He stared at her, not sure what to say for a moment, it had not crossed his mind that it was his therapy and not the fruition of all his work to find the proper formulation for antidepressant potions. “But I still have bad days, I believe the current potion formulation isn't sufficient. I think if I just tweak the recipe again-”

Minerva sighed and interrupted him, “Severus, I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since my thirties, as I told you in confidence when you raged about the Ministry forcing you into therapy as a condition of your employment. There is nothing you can do or take, magical or Muggle in origins, that will make those conditions go away completely. You learn how to manage them, you will have bad days and you will have good days. Some people manage with medications, some people manage with therapy alone, but everyone needs friends to turn to sometimes. Think about where you are now versus where you were when you first started. That version of Severus would have never tolerated working with Miss Granger, let alone selected her for the position.”

Snape looked away, frustrated, it sounded very similar to what his counselor had told him when he complained about still feeling down at times. Minerva continued, “That’s why I think you should befriend Miss Granger.”

His head snapped up and he looked at Minerva, stunned. “I beg your pardon, I clearly misheard you. It sounded like you said I should be friends with my former know-it-all student.” He said, looking aghast. 

“You heard her! Be friends with Granger!” DB squawked helpfully.

Minerva smirked, looking at DB with amusement, “No, you heard me correctly. I think you would both benefit from that friendship.”

“Yes, that’s just what I need to push me right over the edge. Then I won’t need to worry about having a few bad days, they’ll all be bad.” He answered, draining his glass. 

She scowled at him and replied, “Nonsense! I think the two of you have several interests and traits in common. And I know she spends as much time alone as you do here.

His eyes narrowed at her as he said, “How do you know how much time either of us is alone?”

“A little bird told me about your self-imposed solitary confinement.” DB tried to whistle a few bars and look innocent as she continued, “And I have my sources on Miss Granger. The point is, I think a close friendship would help you with your bad days and if my suspicions are correct about Miss Granger, she could use someone on her bad days as well.” She said, finishing off her drink as well before continuing, “Think of it as helping a former student. I think Miss Granger has been struggling since the war ended and her recently failed relationship has enhanced her emotional turmoil.”

He scoffed and said “I doubt that, she isn’t that different from how she was as a student.”

Both of her eyebrows lifted as she replied, “Really? She hasn’t been more irritable? You haven’t noticed her acting out of character?”

Snape’s brow furrowed as he thought about Granger’s actions since she joined the NU Files. She had been a bit irritable and physically wrestling him to the ground over a book was not something he would have anticipated from her. He shook his head slightly and said, “Maybe a bit but we have been working hard on this Dolohov case. I suspect that’s been getting to her, it’s rather a lot for her first case in the department.”

“So she hasn’t also been understanding of your atypical behavior or backed off when she asked something too personal? Perhaps realizing it was a sensitive topic for you because of something traumatic? Perhaps because she can relate? She lived through the same war the rest of us did only she was in far more danger than most of us as a Muggleborn famously known to be friends with Undesirable number 1.” Minerva asked, really pushing him to analyze Granger’s behavior. 

“If she is struggling so much, why aren’t you in her living room? Offering her advice about therapy and ill-suited places to search for friendship?” Snape said, mildly annoyed.

“For one, I’m not that close to Miss Granger. For another, I believe Granger, Potter, and Weasley were given explicit instructions to not be seen seeking therapy as prominent Ministry employees.” Minvera said, lips thin with distaste.

Severus looked at her with surprise, “Are you serious? They were children fighting in a war, seeing far more than any full grown adult can stomach. What is the Ministry playing at? What about Potter and Weasley, how are they coping?”

“I agree, it’s a disgrace but I believe it was even part of their contracts. The current administration feels that it would reflect poorly on the Ministry if the three of them were thought to be damaged in any way from the war.” She said with a sigh, sipped her drink then continued, “As for how the other two are coping? My sources tell me that Mr Potter relies heavily on Ginverva Weasley while Ronald Weasley spends an enormous amount of time with his mother. Mrs. Weasley doesn’t mind, it seems to help her cope with losing Percy. I think he was doing that even when he and Miss Granger were together, which may be one of the many reasons that relationship failed.”

“Well maybe all of this is true, but that doesn’t mean she wants my friendship. I wasn’t exactly the students’ favorite in school and I certainly gave her and her friends hell when they were there. Even if it was exaggerated for my role as a Death Eater spy, that doesn’t excuse it. Why would she want anything closer than an amicable working relationship?” He said, feeling exasperated with this topic of conversation. 

“Because I think she has been pushing her friends away since this breakup with Weasley. However, she is forced into close contact with you nearly everyday. She can’t avoid you like she’s been doing with her friends.” Minerva replied. 

“I see what you are implying, that doesn’t apply to me, I still talk to you, Narcissa, and Draco. You’re here now, although looking at your attire, one would think I was talking to someone else.” He said, curling his upper lip in distaste. 

“Don’t try to change the subject to my comfortable clothes, my great niece bought all of this for me and I’m quite attached to this outfit.” She said sharply, “And you hadn’t let me in your house while you were here in over 6 months, when’s the last time you had either of the Malfoys over? I would wager when Narcissa helped decorate, which was nearly two years ago. You push people away just as much as Miss Granger.”

Just then, the alarm for the lasagna sounded from the kitchen, startling both of them from their conversation. They both stood, Minerva gave him a thoughtful look.

“Just consider it Severus, stop those potions and see how you feel. I think you may be in a place where you can manage without them, if they were even helping, then you could feel like yourself again. Try and make friends with Miss Granger, I think you both need it.” She said, then she gently patted his arm and started walking over to the fireplace. 

“You are welcome to stay for dinner.” He said, carefully avoiding the minefield of topics she wanted him to think about. 

“No, I must get back, thank you for the drink. Good night gentlemen.” Minerva said to both Severus and DB. 

“Goodnight, Aunt Minnie!” DB called out, flapping his wings for emphasis.

A moment later, she vanished in a burst of green flames through the fireplace, leaving Snape standing in his sitting room, with much to contemplate.

* * *

Minerva stepped out of her fireplace and made a beeline for her desk. She pulled a bit of parchment to her as she sat down and picked up a quill. Dipping it in ink, she brought it down to elegantly write out a short note. 

_Dear Luna,_

_I completed my end of the plan, I left him with much to think about. Hopefully he takes my advice, he seemed rather opposed to much of what I said but in the end seemed to only really question why Miss Granger would ever want his friendship._

_I hope the discussion on your end went well, please let me know._

_Sincerely,_  
_Aunt Minnie_

She rolled it up and summoned over her owl to send the message off to Luna, hoping her discussion with Hermione had gone as well as hers had with Severus.

* * *

Hermione walked through her front door, kicked off her shoes, and tossed her keys on the table by the door. There was no Crookshanks in sight, even though she hadn’t been home since two days ago. He’s probably just napping somewhere, she thought, as she wearily walked into her kitchen. 

“Hello.” 

Hermione shrieked and spun to see Luna Lovegood coming up the hallway from the living room. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Luna said, walking in with a concerned look on her face. 

“Merlin! You scared me half to death, Luna!” Hermione said, clutching her chest as she continued, “What are you doing here? I wrote and said I’d be back this evening.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to see you of course. How have you been?” Luna asked in a tone that suggested Hermione was dense for asking, she walked over to the table and sat down. “Enjoying your assignment with Professor Snape?”

Hermione watched her friend make herself comfortable, a look of slight amusement danced across her features. “I’m fine, thank you for checking in on Crooks and feeding him while I was away. Would you like something to drink, tea maybe?” She said, already fetching the necessary accoutrements for tea. 

“Oh yes please, thank you.” Luna replies airily. 

A few minutes later saw them drinking tea and catching up at Hermione’s tiny kitchen table. 

“So, how is Professor Snape? Is he just like he was in school? I know you wrote to me and Gin for advice after his comment about your knickers, how have things been since then?” Luna asked, gazing into her steamy cup as though it held the secrets of the world. 

Hermione smirked and sipped her tea as she said, “Well he apologized for that and he has been somewhat better of late. He is...different. I can’t put my finger on it, he is still infuriating but there are times he’s almost pleasant.”

“Really? Well that’s nice, I always suspected he just needed a friend to make him less grumpy. Do you know if he has any?” She asked, finally looking up from her mug to meet Hermione’s eyes with a slightly unfocused gaze. 

Hermione pursed her lips for a moment and looked up, thinking if Snape had mentioned any friends. “He said something about meeting up with Professor McGonagall..” She said, thoughtfully before trailing off. 

It was silent for a moment, both in thought before-

“”Oh wait!” Hermione said suddenly, startling Luna badly, “Sorry, do you know anyone named DB? He mentioned someone named DB for company.”

Luna focused her attention fully for a change and got serious as she said, “I have no idea, did he say how often he saw them?”

“Well no, that’s when our bill showed up at dinner. I didn’t get to ask him more about it.” Hermione said, looking away, her face etched with disappointment. 

Luna cocked her head to the side and asked, “When did you go to dinner with Professor Snape? Was it a date?”

“Gods no! It was when we were in Bodmin, we had to eat, didn’t we? Can you imagine Snape asking me on a date?” Hermione said, laughing a bit forcefully, in Luna’s opinion. 

Luna gave her a measuring look, then said, “I don’t know, it wouldn’t be that outlandish.”

Mid-sip, Hermione coughed at Luna’s statement and sent a bit of tea up her nose. She coughed multiple times and grabbed a napkin to deal with her nose full of tea. Once she had recovered, she gave Luna a disbelieving look. “Honestly, I doubt the man could stand me outside of the office.” She said, then cringed as she continued, “Especially after today.”

Giving her a look of curiosity, Luna asked, “Why, what happened today?”

Hermione bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling before she closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and said, “I may have tackled him to the floor and attempted to wrestle a journal out of his hands from our case in Bodmin, by tickling him.”

When she was done talking, she finally looked at Luna again. Her friend was looking at her with her eyebrows nearly to her hairline and her mouth hanging open slightly. “Did you really?” Luna asked. 

After saying it out loud, she realized how inappropriate and out of character it was. Nodding, she said, “I don’t know what came over me. He had just spent several minutes arguing with me about who was writing the report and who was going to read the journal for the report. I got so angry, I just- well, clearly I overreacted a touch.”

Luna blinked at her a few times, absorbing the fact that Hermione Granger had tackled Severus Snape to the ground and tickled him over a book. “How did he react to that?” She finally asked, clearly still surprised. 

Hermione looked a touch anxious as she said, “Well he told me not to, obviously but then I did and then Ron walked in and assumed the worst with Snape on top of me like he was. Then Harry came in and tried to get it sorted and the Snoddy sisters-“

“Hold on,” Luna interrupted, “just how many people were in the room? And why was Professor Snape on top of you? I thought you said you were the one that tackled him.” 

Realizing she had made little to no sense, Hermione took another deep breath and fully explained the story, complete with the Snoddy sisters covering for their behavior. When the story was finally told, Luna sat in silence for a moment. 

“Well, I think the two of you should try to be friends. It’s clear that he may get annoyed with you but there probably isn’t another human that doesn’t annoy him. I think he could use another friend, in addition to McGonagall and whoever this DB is.” Luna said then paused before adding, “And I think you could too, you avoid most of us for your work, which I know is demanding but you work with Snape. It would do you and him some good to be friends.”

Hermione opened her mouth to protest but promptly closed it again. “I’ve been avoiding Ronald Weasley, not all of my friends.” She said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Luna raised a single eyebrow as she said, “That’s not true, I know Harry and Ginny invite you out when Ron isn’t around. You push people away and have been since the war ended.” Luna nearly added that this was very likely why she and Ron hadn’t worked out but that would be a discussion for a later date, if ever. 

Hermione glared at her for a moment, then said, “No I don’t, I’ve been busy training for the Unspeakables. When that was done, I joined the NU Files and we’ve been busy with a very important case since then.”

With a sigh, Luna drained her teacup and turned her gaze back to Hermione in a way that made Hermione feel like her friend was weighing and measuring some unseen aspect of her person, and she found it lacking. “Fine, you can deny avoiding us or pushing us away. I’ll always be here when you need me. I want you to seriously consider trying to be friends with Professor Snape. If nothing else, it will make working with him easier.”

They stared at each other in silence for what seemed like much longer than it actually was before Hermione finally spoke. 

“I’ll consider it, that probably would make work more tolerable but he is so unpredictable! Maybe it’s his discomfort, having to work with a former student who had him during the war can’t be easy for him.” Hermione said, relenting slightly after the twinge of guilt her words set off, “Although, I doubt he wants me as a friend. I bet this DB is his girlfriend, she might be the jealous type.” 

“I’ll ask around and see what I can find out. I don’t know anyone with those initials though. Are you sure that’s the name he said?” Luna asked.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.” Hermione replied, nodding. “I was thinking about writing to McGonagall and asking since she is the only other friend of his I’m aware of.”

Luna smiled at her brightly and said, “That’s a great idea, I bet she knows if he is dating anyone.”

With that, Luna sprang from her seat and put her mug in the sink. “Well I’ll let you rest, I’m sure you want to get some sleep. I find I never sleep as good away from home as I do in my own bed.” 

“Thanks for coming by to chat, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry you all feel as though I’m pushing you away or avoiding you. I’ll try to do better in the future and I’ll think about what you said, about Snape.” Hermione said, standing and walking over to the front door with Luna. 

They said their farewells and Hermione came back inside to write a letter to McGonagall. She needed to be careful, she didn’t want to send the wrong message and have the Headmistress think she had designs on dating Snape herself.

* * *

For the second time that evening, a head emerged in the fireplace of Minerva’s personal sitting room. This time it was her great niece, Luna Lovegood calling for her. 

Minerva quickly shuffled around her sitting room to talk to the young woman. 

“Luna, I was expecting an owl, I already sent you one. Is everything alright?” She said, mildly concerned. 

“Oh yes, Aunt Minnie. I wanted to ask you who DB is and if you would be interested in a slight change of plans.” Luna said, airily. 

“DB is Severus’ pet bird, it’s short for Dungeon Bat. Severus refuses to call the bird that so he goes by DB. Why are you asking? And what did you have in mind?” Minerva said, adjusting her glasses. 

“Did Snape tell you that Hermione tackled him to the ground today and tickled him over reading a journal for one of their cases?” Luna asked, meeting her Aunt’s penetrating gaze. 

Minerva’s jaw dropped and she exclaimed, “Are you serious?! No he didn’t tell me that! The little shite!” 

Luna smiled and said, “I suggest we pursue something a bit more than simply making them friends. He didn’t hex her and he only verbally protested a little bit. At one point, he actually wrapped his arms around her and rolled her underneath him to stop her from tickling him. Hermione also asked me about DB and if that could be Snape’s girlfriend. She tried not to sound overly disappointed about the thought of him dating someone else, but I could tell she was.”

Upon hearing these details, Minerva sat down hard in the large burgundy wingback chair behind her. “I can’t believe they both allowed the other to act in such a way. The fact that Severus didn’t tell me speaks volumes.” She said, bringing a hand up to tap her lips in thought, while also scowling. “There’s a mutual attraction there I’ll wager, they are both either in denial or extremely hesitant to act on it. That’s why that empty-headed buffoon was protesting a potential friendship so much! He wants more than that and he’s afraid of it!”

“Ron and Harry walked in on this scene, there is apparently a portrait in the room that helped them make up some story about a cursed book. So they were embarrassed enough to not want Ron or Harry to know about it.” Luna said, watching the sudden change of her aunt’s emotions. 

She clapped her hands in excitement and grinned, Minerva said, “Oooooohhhh! I want to interfere but I am afraid those two spook easier than a mooncalf3 during a quarter moon. Let’s wait a bit before we do anything more. Maybe this little push of ours will be enough, I want to see those two happy.”

“Me too, they both deserve it. Well goodnight, you may get an owl from Hermione asking about DB.” Luna said. 

“Goodnight dear, thanks for the update!” She replied.

With that, Luna pulled her head out of her fireplace and smiled. She really did hope Snape and Hermione would figure it out without too much interference.

* * *

1.Lobcock - a large relaxed penis, also a dull inanimate fellow; insult from 18th century England

2.Vimto - popular soft drink invented in Manchester, UK. At least, that's what the internet tells me. ;)

3\. These animals only come out on a full moon, very shy creatures as well.


	8. New Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I am sorry for how long it has been since my last update! I had so much going on in my personal life that my writing had to take a backseat for a bit there. Second, there will be dead children mentioned in this chapter and they will make a bigger appearance next chapter. Just wanted to let everyone know in case that is something you, the reader, will be upset about. Big thanks to my beta, Jeannie, who reads these chapters and lets me know what needs fixing, she is the best! As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!

“All you know is alone  
You see a Phantom Stranger!  
All you know is alone  
You love my Phantom Stranger!  
A wretched heart in the dark decay, dominate forever  
Destroy the things you love and see if I remember”  
-Rob Zombie, Return of the Phantom Stranger

* * *

Yawning into her hand, Minerva absentmindedly swirled her glass of scotch as she contemplated the letter sitting on her desk. Hermione had indeed written to her and tried to inquire about the identity of DB in what Minerva was sure, Hermione thought, was a sly fashion. To be fair, it would have fooled Potter, Weasley, and, most assuredly, Longbottom. However, she saw straight through it and would have without the helpful inside information from Luna. 

_Dear Headmistress McGonagall,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I realized that I have been remiss in asking after Mr. Filch, has he made a full recovery and been returned to the castle? The news of his injury was upsetting to myself and Agent Snape. Please give him my regards and wishes for a speedy recovery._

_I also wanted to ask you about Agent Snape’s personal life, purely out of concern as his coworker. He seems to spend much of his time alone or with someone named DB. Or do I have the wrong impression? I would ask him but, well you were his coworker for 17 years, you know how well he takes to others prying into his personal business. I would ask DB, but I’m afraid I don’t know them._

_Please let me know if there is anything new on your end regarding the Dolohov case. We still haven’t seen Dumbledore in his portrait here at the Ministry, I hope he returns to that one or the one at Hogwarts soon._

_Best regards,_   
_Hermione Granger_

Huffing into her glass before draining it, Minerva stood and stretched before heading to bed. _‘Purely out of concern as his coworker,’ my arse, Granger_ , she thought, pulling down her floral quilt and sliding between the burgundy sheets. Despite the poorly concealed attempt by her former student to gather information, she smiled, _a little jealousy may push her towards him even more, forbidden fruit and all that._

* * *

Sunrise on Saturday saw Severus Snape down in his basement potions lab, he was perched on a stool, fully dressed in his potions robes, sipping a cup of coffee, and hunched over a page covered in his small, cramped writing within his research journal. He had reflected on Minerva’s plentiful advice and had decided to generate multiple formulations of his antidepressant potion for testing. It seemed the magical world’s mental health field was ripe for proper treatments, if the number of high functioning alcoholics within it were any indication. When he was first developing the potion, he had read extensively about how antidepressants worked in Muggle medicine and all of the various types. Momentarily, he had been quite surprised to learn that so much variety was not only available to Muggles but also necessary to ensure there was a treatment that worked for each patient’s needs. As such, he had set to developing the equivalent of the most commonly prescribed type in Muggle medicine, Prozac. Based on the mechanism of action this drug relied on, he needed to produce a potion that blocked the retrieval of serotonin in the nervous system, thus increasing the amount acting in the brain. 

There was, unfortunately, only so much he could do with his facilities and himself as the only test subject. However, that morning he had written to Draco Malfoy, asking if his potions research facility would be willing to test his experimental formulations for an antidepressant. Snape was still waiting to hear back but he was fairly certain that Draco possessed the Malfoy nose for profitable business ventures and thus would agree for a percentage of the profits from the final potions that would go to market. He had initially come up with 20 possible formulas that would potentially block the reuptake of serotonin, having tested two of them on himself over six months each, tapering the medication between to prevent the side effects that go with stopping those sorts of medications abruptly, he could conclude that at the very least they weren’t lethal. As to their efficacy as antidepressants, he was on much shakier ground. As Minerva had so helpfully pointed out to him, his improvement was more likely due to his time in therapy than to any newly concocted, untried, and barely potable potion. 

Turning the page, Severus brought his mug back to his lips for another sip as he contemplated which potion he should send to Draco for testing first. He intended to brew up several batches and send them via Floo directly to the testing facilities along with a list of ingredients to which potential participants could be allergic. Sending Draco the full ingredient list and protocol would be utter lunacy, Severus may be able to trust Draco, but he didn’t know the people in Draco’s employ well enough to trust they would know which end of the cauldron goes over the flame. He would hopefully hear back from Draco before the end of the day so he could brew at least one batch tomorrow to get the whole process started. The quicker he got the ball rolling, the closer he was to some extra income. 

The Ministry did not pay him nearly what he felt he was worth after one factored in his knowledge of potions and the Dark Arts, however, the terms of his contract and his extremely private trial after the war, thinly veiled the true sentiment of the magical community. The overwhelming consensus in their world was that he should be grateful he wasn’t put in Azkaban or given the dementor's kiss and locked away in the mental ward of St. Mungo’s. There were those within the Ministry that felt he should be thankful to be paid for his services at all. It was sufficient to live off of but it wasn’t buying him much outside of that. They were the same people who felt he was not loyal to either side during the war but rather to himself and his own self interest. It didn’t take a genius to see that was psychological projection, those who fought in the war couldn’t help but notice the Ministry’s sudden enthusiasm for the Order of the Phoenix and the side of the light once the dust had settled. Prior to that, the Ministry line had been extremely anti-Muggleborn. _Bunch of sodding hypocrites,_ Severus thought bitterly, _the whole lot of them._

_I bet they all jumped at the opportunity to employ the Boy Savoir and his constantly overshadowed sidekicks. The real brains of that outfit didn’t go to the Aurors though, did she? I wonder how disappointed the Aurors were when they discovered the inadequacies of Potter and Weasley._ Severus wondered if those outside of the Department of Mysteries truly realized how brilliant his coworker actually was. They all knew the Unspeakables were bright but they just assumed everyone was the same past a certain point of intelligence. Granger was definitely bright but with a passion for learning that he rarely ever encountered in another person, her passion is what made her a force to be reckoned with. 

That was also why he had been subjected to a tussle and an undignified tickle fight on the floor of their shared office. Try as he might, the sensation of having her body pressed against him was not something he would forget any time soon. Or ever, if he was honest with himself. Which was why he was sitting in his lab early in the morning on a Saturday, when he had been looking forward to a bit of a lie in. Snape had found himself lying awake this morning, his usual...morning glory was exceptionally thrilled by the fact he couldn’t shake the memory of a young woman’s body pinned beneath him. It had also helpfully reminded him that he had unintentionally touched the breast of that same woman within the last 48 hours. Rather than dwell on the situation or enjoy relieving himself of it, he got up and took a bracingly cold shower. He just didn’t feel right wanking off to his coworker considering everything. 

Sighing heavily into it, he took another drink from his coffee mug, a brief puff of steam brushed over his reading glasses. Involuntarily, his face pulled into a grimace over the interactions between himself and Granger over the last couple of days. Now that he knew Granger hadn’t received proper support to process the war and all it entailed, he felt just a shade guilty about winding her up yesterday. Perhaps Minerva was right but why would Granger ever be interested in a friendship with him? Maybe he could talk to her about books? The ones he had seen in her apartment a couple of weeks ago showed her to have literary tastes overlapping with his own. Despite what Minerva had said, he really didn’t think they had much in common outside of a mutual appreciation for literature. 

DB screeched from the top of the basement steps, disrupting his thoughts and his attempts at a productive Saturday morning. “FLOO CALL!”

* * *

Hermione also had plans for a lie in this Saturday morning, however, Crookshanks would not allow his breakfast to be delayed by something so trivial as a weekend morning. He had parked his furry rear-end next to her in the bed and was attempting to drag the covers off of her head. She reached a hand out of her cocoon of warmth to bat him away. Unfazed by her attempted shooing, he leapt up and began walking unsteadily over her covered head. A muffled protest sounded from under the blankets. 

“Crookshanks!” 

Determined to convince her to get out of the bed, he moved back from her head and sat on her stomach. Her annoyance was evident in the way she jerked the blankets off her face to glare up at the stoic face of her familiar. He stared back at her, completely indifferent to her ire. Sighing dramatically, she pushed him off of her and rolled over to check the time as she began talking to him. 

“Fine, I’ll get up and feed you.” Hermione said, then did a double take looking at the time as she continued, “At bloody 6:30 on a Saturday morning.”

Mildly exasperated with her cat’s feeding demands, she sat up and swung her bare feet to the floor, stretching with a yawn before standing. Her red plaid pajama bottoms were wrinkled and had scrunched up around her thighs in her sleep, she pushed them down so they fell to their proper position before she began her sleepy walk to the kitchen. Hermione ran a hand through her greatly disheveled hair, making a half-hearted effort to diminish the sleep induced level of disarray it was currently in. 

After feeding Crookshanks, she decided to have her own breakfast and start the day since she was already up. She stared at her cereal shelf in the pantry and finally decided that having gotten up early, she deserved to have Lucky Charms. 

Hermione sat down at her kitchen table with her bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee, lost in thought about her conversation with Luna. Why would anyone think she and Snape should be friends?! Alright, she could admit, he was very intelligent and made her laugh with his dry wit when it wasn’t directed at her. He may appreciate books, but surely not to the same extent she did and he was extremely stubborn. _I mean, he wouldn’t let me read that journal, she thought, I was being perfectly reasonable. He would write the report better and faster than me. Not to mention, I could have read the journal in no time at all. That’s why we ended up wrestling for the bloody book on the floor, he technically started it when he put his hand over my face._

A shiver suddenly went down her spine as she remembered just where that tussle had ended, with her lying on the floor beneath Snape. A position she wouldn’t mind finding herself in again, under more favorable circumstances, preferably when he wasn’t annoyed with her. Which led her back to Luna’s suggestion, being friends with Severus Snape. Even if they had vast expanses of common ground, there was no way he wanted to be friends with her, his former student. It hadn’t exactly been a secret when she was at Hogwarts that he found her company distasteful. 

_Well, if he found you so unpleasant to be around, why did he agree to work with you?_ A tiny voice piped up to ask. Hermione didn’t have an answer to that question, on balance, he had been pleasant, downright enjoyable, for Snape. He had also threatened Ron, an attribute she appreciated in potential friends and found lacking in her current set.

A tapping at her window intruded on her mental composition of the short list containing attributes she classified as pro-Severus Snape friendship. She stood, opened the window, and let the owl swoop in to land on her table. The owl helped herself to a bit of her cereal after she removed the letter and began reading it. 

_Dear Agent Granger,_

_It’s good to hear from you! Mr. Filch has made a remarkable recovery, he is still taking it easy but he will be back at his normal responsibilities in a week or so. I will let him know you were asking after him._

_As for Snape, he has always been prone to solitary pursuits. I introduced him to DB actually, he was rather reluctant at first but now they spend a great deal of time in each other’s company._

_I think he could use more company but he doesn’t really listen to me. Maybe working with you will do him some good._

_As soon as Dumbledore is back in his portrait, I will let you and Agent Snape know. Best of luck with the case._

_Sincerely,_   
_Minerva McGonagall_

Looking up, Hermione’s face contorted in concentration as she pondered the contents of the letter. Minerva had not actually told her the name of this mysterious DB person nor had she indicated the precise nature of their relationship. They could be dating or drinking pals for all she could tell from the letter. However, she hadn’t come right out and asked who it was either. 

Further contemplation was disrupted by her mobile phone going off in her purse. McGonagall’s owl scrambled off the table and took off out the window at the sudden commotion. Hermione padded over to her bag and pulled it out, then raised her eyebrows in surprise at the name on the screen. She hit the talk button then pressed the speaker to her ear as she said, “Hello?”

Snape’s voice came through crisply, “Granger, Dolohov has attacked a family. How soon can you meet me at the street entrance to the Ministry?”

“Oh no! Give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there. Are they alright?” she asked, concern flooding her body right before a shot of anxiety hit her stomach and radiated outward in a wave of heat. 

“I’ll see you in 15 minutes, then,” he answered evasively, before hanging up.

* * *

Twenty minutes after Snape hung up on her, Hermione found herself landing in a field outside of a suburban neighborhood. They had taken a Portkey from the Auror waiting for them at the Ministry. The tight lipped, stuffy wizard had not been knowledgeable on the case and seemed annoyed to be interacting with them at all. 

They set out walking in the direction provided by the uptight Auror. “Do you know anything more than what you told me on the phone?” She asked, looking hopefully out of the corner of her eye at Snape. 

He glanced over at her, trying to think of the best way to answer that given the delicate balance he wanted to strike of being friends/coworkers. “I was informed that all occupants of the house have been found...incapacitated inside of the dwelling.” He replied. 

Inhaling sharply, Hermione looked over at him and then away, attempting to run a hand through her hair before she remembered it was pulled back. “I assume that means deceased.” She said, congratulating herself on how steady her voice sounded to her own ears. 

With a sigh, Snape said, “I would imagine they think that’s a nice way to put it.” 

They continued on in silence for a moment. “I don’t understand how he got to them and why the Auror wards weren’t triggered. I was under the impression they visited every home and family on the pages stolen from the book of magical births.” Hermione stated through a clenched jaw. 

Snape scoffed then replied, “Incompetence. Whoever was assigned to this family clearly bungled the whole affair. We should send more Aurors out to the other families to ensure they have the intended protective wards.”

Hermione ground her teeth in frustration. “Personally, I think they should be fired! An entire family is now dead because they couldn’t be arsed to do their job properly!” Hermione said angrily, clenching her fists and very nearly stomping along at Snape’s side. 

Abruptly, he stopped and put an arm out for her to stop as well. He turned to look at her for a moment, his face a blank mask as he took in her obvious anger over the unjust situation. 

“Why have we stopped,” Hermione asked, her voice shaky with anger, “I was under the impression our presence was requested urgently.”

“While I understand your frustration over incompetence, it would be prudent to keep such thoughts to yourself once we reach the crime scene,” he said, “I can’t imagine the Aurors will agree with your assessment. They will probably have some piss poor excuse for why this happened.”

“It’s not just incompetence in some low risk scenario, an entire family is now dead because they didn’t take the threat seriously,” Hermione said, gritting her teeth. “They probably didn’t think a Muggle family was worth worrying over.”

Privately, Snape agreed, he had been concerned that the Aurors wouldn’t treat the threat as equally dangerous for the families of Muggleborn witches and wizards on list. Perhaps letting her know he felt the same way would cool her temper a bit. 

“I imagine that’s true, however they will dress it up under a different guise when we talk to them,” Snape said, lifting a single eyebrow as he continued, “we will have to keep our cool and absorb what they say but also what they don’t say. If we put their backs up, we may find our evidence and future crime scenes tampered with or we may get called in much later than we should have been on future cases.”

Hermione looked at him aghast as she said, “would they really tamper with our evidence or purposefully delay a case?”

He shrugged, then reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Snape gave her a questioning look, one eyebrow lifted, his head slightly tilted. Maintaining his expression, he held the pack out towards her. Hermione raised both eyebrows then shook her head. He pulled one from the pack and lit it before answering her question, blowing out a stream of smoke right before he began.

“First of all, our cases are usually far less urgent than this one. And then there is the fact that the Chief absolutely hates me and you now, by extension. He loathes the fact that some cases are viewed as too difficult for his department.” He said, taking another drag and holding it for a moment then blowing it out and continuing, “he really believes he gets the best and brightest.”

Trying not to stare at Agent Snape and his cigarette, she looked away in thought, not over the smoking because that needed thinking about separate from this moment. It bothered her immensely to think that the relationships between departments could have any bearing on the delivery of justice to the community. 

“That’s completely unprofessional, how could he possibly act like that?!” Hermione asked, mildly bewildered.

Blowing out another puff of smoke, he met her eyes as he said, “Ignorance and over inflated egos. The magical world is full of them, especially the ones from old families. Bulstrode is definitely an old family.”

Hermione cocked her head to the side as she looked at him. “You’re from an old family, you don’t act like that.”

He smirked as he dropped the butt of his cigarette and crushed it under his boot. “No, I am only half Prince, as you will recall. My muggle blood dilutes the arrogance and ignorance caused by inbreeding. Although, there are many who would say my ego is overinflated.”

“You certainly aren’t ignorant and I wouldn’t say your ego is over inflated. You know perfectly well what you are capable of, some probably mistake that for overconfidence.”

Feeling decidedly uncomfortable over where the conversation wound up, he cleared his throat and said, “I suppose. Now, do you have your emotions under sufficient control to be in the vicinity of the empty-headed Aurors?”

With a sigh, Hermione nodded, then said “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I will be on my best behavior, as long as you are.”

Snape gave her an amused look, that she completely missed since she had already walked past him. The two agents stepped onto the beginning of the pavement from the field and continued into the neighborhood. Snape reached into his pocket and pulled out a cube of chewing gum that he promptly popped in his mouth, it was his own design. He had grown tired of bad breath and stained teeth from years of smoking, so he developed a chewing gum that negated both of those side effects of chewed after smoking. _Maybe I should market this as well_ , he thought as he walked along. 

“Where did you get that book you used on Thursday? The one you used to look up Bodmin before we left to deal with Vex.” Hermione asked, seemingly out of nowhere, intruding on his money making thoughts. 

_Obviously she had been dying to know the answer to that, a bit surprising she waited this long to ask_ , he thought.

“Nicked it from the Department of Mysteries Analysts’ office.” He replied, unabashedly. 

Her head jerked around to look at him as he walked next to her. 

“Surely they would notice that?” Hermione asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her robes. 

He smirked and replied, “They haven’t so far. I nicked it a year and a half ago.” 

Hermione suppressed a slight grin as she said, “I don’t suppose it’s stealing since it technically hasn’t left the department.”

“My thoughts precisely, Granger. Also, we need it. The analysts put together these large, informative dossiers for the Aurors but they don’t do that for us and the Aurors usually don’t pass on the full dossier when the case is reassigned to us.” Snape said.

They both turned right at the end of the block and saw Auror Potter waiting to take them into the scene two blocks down. He waved at them, to which they returned his wave. 

“Do you feel ready for this Granger?” Snape asked in a tone that suggested he didn’t give a rat’s arse if she was or not. He promptly wished he hadn’t spoken at all, better to say nothing than sound like an arsehole and get her riled up.

She shot him a puzzled look, his words indicated concern but the tone was quite indifferent. 

“As ready as anyone can be to see dead children.” She replied.

They continued in silence until they reached hearing distance of Harry, who looked grim. 

“Morning.” He said as they walked up. 

Snape and Hermione gave a nod of greeting and mumbled their good morning’s.

“What can you tell us?” Snape said, as they came to a stop in front of Potter.

“Not as much as I would like to. Dolohov broke in sometime in the early morning hours and killed the entire family. They had apparently been away on holiday, the Aurors came ‘round while they were away. The Aurors assigned to this family were supposed to check back but they didn’t. Ox has chewed them both out and they were sent home for six weeks on unpaid leave.” Harry said, some satisfaction entered his voice over their punishment.

Hermione huffed and muttered under her breath, “Too good for them if you ask me.”

“The Aurors assigned to go around setting wards have been sent back out to reinforce protection on the Muggleborn families,” Harry said, “The department was under the impression that those families were less vulnerable, bunch of mental sods. A former Death Eater gets loose and they think Muggleborns are less of a target than others?!”

Hermione frowned and sucked her teeth while making a rather unladylike noise of disgust in the back of her throat.

“What else can you tell us about the scene, Potter? Anything else we should know?” Snape asked, mentally agreeing with the younger wizard’s assessment of his superiors and his partner’s disgust.

Harry took a deep breath and blew it out as he reached up and rubbed his scar out of habit. “It’s what you would expect, an entire family senselessly cut down. I had hoped I wouldn’t have to see the like again so soon after the war. But I knew what I was signing up for with this job.”

“Anyway,” Harry continued, “a neighbor came over to return some dish from a party and found them all dead. Naturally, they called the police, we have a Squib working for the Ministry in the Muggle dispatch office. They sent us an owl straight away. The first Aurors on the scene wiped the neighbor’s memory and sent them on their way before putting up Notice-Me-Not charms around the property’s perimeter.”

A moment later, they stepped through the aforementioned charms into a bustling front yard. There were Aurors, their department’s crime scene analysts, various representatives from other Ministry departments, and assorted members of the press. The latter were standing in a roped off area well away from the house, many were arguing with the Aurors attempting to keep them within the boundary.

“Alright, I just have to drop you both off with the Auror in charge of the scene then I’m back on press duty,” Harry said, a pained grimace flashed across his face, “Did you know Rita Skeeter is back at it?”

“That old cow?!” Hermione exclaimed a bit louder than she probably should have, “Surely not?!”

Harry nodded as he replied, “Oh yes, and she is just as conniving as ever. Reporting her perversions of the truth.”

They continued walking across the well kept lawn, dodging around a pack of crime scene analysts carrying cameras.

“Why are you or Ron always the ones that interact with us from your department?” Hermione asked as they neared a cluster of other Aurors talking amongst themselves.

Harry grinned at her, “You both have quite a reputation, between Agent Snape being...well Snape and you cursing Marrietta Edgecomb and breaking into Gringotts. Also, there’s that report of Rita Skeeter’s about you chasing Ron out of your apartment. Well, let’s just say that I volunteered this time and my fellow Aurors feel like they owe me one for doing it. I get to chat with you for a moment, you get your information from a friendly face, and my work mates buy my drinks when we go out afterwards.”

Hermione gaped at him for a moment then she shook her head and opened her mouth to reply, however, Harry stopped walking and interrupted her. “Here we are, the Auror in charge is Auror Wood, the big bloke in the middle of that group there. I’ll see you later, Hermione, Agent Snape.”

With that, Harry strode off to resume the duty of keeping the press back. As Harry neared the other Aurors, Ron Weasley turned to his friend and said something Hermione couldn’t make out from this distance. Ron glanced at her but gave no indication that he recognized her or her attempted wave, much to her annoyance. Snape turned to Hermione, eyebrows raised, and asked, “Out of curiosity, do you know if the Sorting hat considered putting Potter in Slytherin?” 

Her brow furrowed in thought before she replied, “If it did, he never told me about it.”

“Hmmm, I’d wager it did.” Snape replied, his thoughtful gaze following Potter over to his assigned post.

“Oh good! The Mums are finally here, let them through please.” Came a pleasant voice from the cluster of Aurors Harry had pointed at earlier. 

Hermione whipped her head around and opened her mouth to aggressively correct Auror Wood when Snape subtly elbowed her and gave a slight shake of his head at her as he cut his eyes at her briefly in warning. He stepped forward with his right hand extended and said, “Unspeakable Agent Snape, you are Auror Wood, I presume.”

“That’s me, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Auror Wood said, shaking his hand and staring into Snape’s face with an uncomfortable intensity.

Hoping to break up whatever was going on with Auror Wood, Hermione stepped forward and extended her hand as she said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Auror Wood. I’m Unspeakable Agent Hermione Granger.”

Auror Wood dropped Snape’s hand quickly and shook Hermione’s briefly as he shifted his gaze to her face. “Indeed you are, the pictures of you in the papers are a bit more recent than your coworker’s.”

The only indication of Snape’s annoyance at that comment was a clenching of his jaw as he continued to look at Auror Wood. 

“Yes well, they wouldn’t have any if I could help it. I can only hex so many people at a time in a mostly Muggle area without causing a violation of the Statute of Secrecy.” Hermione replied with a slight frown at his comment. 

Suppressing a smirk, Snape cleared his throat and began directing questions at the Auror but his eyes roamed over the front of the house and yard for unknown details as he spoke. “Have your people finished taking pictures inside yet?”

“Yes, they were instructed to take very thorough photographs for our use and yours as well. It would be too much for you to be expected to do it all by yourselves. As I understand it, you two are the only ones in your department.” Auror Wood said, looking questioningly between the pair of them.

Snape turned his bored eyes away from the examination of the shrubbery next to the front door to fix his penetrating stare on Auror Wood for several seconds before he answered the question. “Obviously, or there would be more of us here, wouldn’t there?” He said with a sneer, the Auror looked like the words had physically slapped him in the face as Snape continued, “Now, how did your department determine this to be the work of Dolohov?”

Hermione had been wondering that as well, so far no one had provided her with an explanation for that conclusion either. She looked expectantly at Auror Wood as he seemed dumbstruck for a moment. Snape scowled at the man as he waited for an answer. 

“Well,” He finally said, “this family was on the list. So we just assumed that plus he burned his alias on the wall of their sitting room...”

“What?” Snape said sharply, interrupting the man.

“He did, he burned ‘The Green Knight’ into the wall.” Auror Wood said, looking decidedly uncomfortable now. 

The silence that rushed in when Wood finished his sentence felt thick, stretching for what felt like an eternity as Snape’s eyes bore into the large Auror’s eyes. and Hermione had no idea why it was suddenly so uncomfortable. 

“Indeed.” Snape finally said, breaking the silence and his eye contact. “I want your department cleared out of the house and back away from it at least 10 feet.”

Deciding she was tired of Snape assuming he knew everything to ask about when clearly he did not, Hermione cleared her throat and asked the Auror more questions before he could take a step towards implementing Snape’s requests. 

“Before you go, I want any details about the family you have. Names, pets, and the like. Also I want to know where the neighbor is that found them.” She said with a fierce intensity. 

Auror Wood looked overwhelmed for a moment. “The Wilsons were a family of four, the father was David Wilson. He worked as a….something to do with money? The wife, Helen, taught at a Muggle school. They had two children, both girls. The eldest was eleven, sorted in Hufflepuff, her name was Jasmine. The youngest was Chloe, just turned five.” He said, his tone very hushed and sorrowful. 

Hermione was horrified but pushed aside her despair for the family and said, “right, pets? Also the person that found them?”

Auror Wood brought his gaze from the distance back to Hermione. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, uneasy with his judgmental stare on her. 

“No pets. The neighbor was some Muggle woman returning a casserole dish. She’s already been tended to by the Obliviators.” He replied, his eyes looking at her like he had just properly seen her. 

She opened her mouth to reply when Snape put a hand on her arm and said, “that should be all we need from you, Auror Wood. Aside from clearing your lot out of our way. Thank you for your assistance this morning.”

Auror Wood nodded and said, “no problem, Agent Snape. I’ll clear them out and let you know when you can come in.”

With that he walked off, already calling to those Aurors nearest to him. Hermione looked at Snape and found him already looking at her. 

“Next time, sound like a human being who has some regard for the murder of small children, Granger,” He stated, continuing to stare at her. 

Blushing slightly, she folded her arms across her chest as she replied, “of course I’m a human being! I find this as appalling as everyone else, I just don’t want to dwell on how it makes me feel right now. Unless you think it would be loads of help to have me sobbing all over the crime scene?”

“And risk you getting tears and mucus all over my robes? I just had these properly laundered. All I’m saying is don’t shove aside the natural reaction to something this horrible so ruthlessly. Our department doesn’t need any assistance in giving a monstrous impression. Also, it will catch up with you one day, believe me, I know.” He said, as he turned his attention to someone beyond her shoulder. 

She whirled around to see what he was looking at, intending to turn back around and ask him what he meant by that last bit. 

“All clear, the scene is yours.” Auror Wood called out as he walked across the lawn to join the cluster of his coworkers gathered around a massive coffee thermos. 

Snape brushed past her towards the shrubbery on either side of the front door. Not wanting to miss anything, she rushed after him. He spread the branches carefully and peered behind each in succession. Hermione stood back and watched him. 

“Do you think he hid behind these bushes?” Hermione asked, her voice laced with doubt. 

Stepping back, he replied with his gaze raking over the roof. “No, I was merely checking for additional curses items around the door. Like the one Potter triggered in McGonagall’s office.”

“Oh,” She replied, feeling a touch inadequate. 

He stepped away from the house and turned his back to it to examine the neighboring houses. Hermione turned and looked with him.

“If you were Dolohov and you needed to know if this family suited your needs, whatever they may be, what would you do?” He asked her quietly, still taking in the immaculate little front lawns surrounding them.

Hermione swept her gaze up the opposing street and peered over at the houses on either side. None of the houses had any shrubbery above the knee and they all had well kept grass.

“Well, I suppose I would want to watch the house, maybe even sneak inside to get a better idea of the family while they were away. It would depend on what I wanted out of them.” She said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully and trying to ignore the clamouring of the press vying for their attention and insights on the case. 

“Exactly,” He replied, then promptly turned and strode across the front lawn and around the corner of the house as he called over his shoulder, “Come along, Granger. We are going to have a look at the back garden.”

His Unspeakable robes whipped around the corner as Hermione hurried quickly after him into the back garden. It was as well maintained as the front garden, complete with a wooden swing set, sandbox, and brightly colored playhouse. Hermione fought to maintain her control on the nearly overwhelming wave of sorrow that washed over her upon seeing the playthings of the little girls that would never use them again. This followed quickly by anger towards Dolohov for his senseless killing of an entire family. At the edge of the garden were several trees that led into a portion of the park they had first arrived in earlier. One particularly large oak tree stood in the thinly wooded area. 

Stopping, he looked over at her and nodded towards the large tree, his eyebrows raised in silent question. Hermione nodded in agreement and they walked over to determine if Dolohov had indeed used it to stake out the Wilsons.

They both stood under the tree for a moment, gazing up into the thick, dark green branches of the tree. Snape looked down first and and Hermione brought her gaze down as well, opening her mouth to ask a question but found him staring at her rather intensely. She startled slightly, her head jerked back minutely and she closed her mouth briefly. She opened it again with a different question on lips. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Have I got something on my face?” She asked, reaching up to brush her fingers over her features. 

He shook his head, then replied, “No, as if I would care about such mundane matters. I was merely contemplating whether I could lift you up sufficiently to get on the first branch to have a look around.”

“Why do I have to go up there? Surely you can reach and pull yourself up to look around.” She said, looking mildly panicked.

Snape smirked as he held up his hand to placate her worries. “However, I concluded that it was unnecessary, I can gather all of the information we may need from down here,” he said, lifting an eyebrow as he continued, “Don’t tell me a fearless Gryffindor, such as yourself, is afraid of heights?”

“Certainly not, I was merely questioning the necessity of tree-climbing. It is rather pointless to endanger ourselves for no reason. The Ministry handbook for appropriate risk in the workplace…” 

“Merlin preserve my sanity. Don’t quote that bloody waste of parchment to me right now. I don’t care if you are afraid of heights or not. And I really don’t give a rat’s arse about what the Ministry views as ‘unnecessary risk.’ It was a joke.” He replied, rubbing his forehead, perhaps hoping it would rub in some patience. 

“Oh,” Hermione said, looking somewhat embarrassed, “right, a joke.”

“If Dolohov cast spells of any sort while he sat in this tree, I should be able to sense them,” Snape said, stepping closer to the tree as he continued, “I know this isn’t something covered in the normal Hogwarts curriculum but…”

Finally, knowing something he didn’t anticipate she would know, Hermione interrupted him with an excited proclamation. “Oh but I do know how to do that! I helped Harry and Ron practice to do that for their Auror training, they wanted me to help them study for their practical exam on magical signature sensing for their tracking course, so I helped them out. I learned how to do it in the process.”

“Fascinating story, you simply must tell it again sometime.” He replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “However, you are not familiar with Dolohov’s signature so that won’t be helpful.”

Hermione gave him an affronted look but he didn’t even turn around to dismiss her story. “Well, if you find his signature, you can tell me where it is and I can attempt to familiarize myself with it.” She replied, trying her best not to escalate the potential for an argument, they were there to investigate the murder of a family, not bicker with one another. 

While Snape extended his wand hand out towards the tree and began to mutter the spell for magical signature detection, Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She reminded herself that she had decided to not let him get under skin so easily and also further her previous attempts to befriend him. _And that has nothing to do with Luna suggesting it_ , she firmly told herself, _or how nice he feels under those robes_ as she opened her eyes to observe her partner. 

Taking a step closer to the tree, Snape extended his wand arm upwards and took a sudden, sharp inhalation. He opened his eyes and threw his head back to look up into the branches more closely. Hermione silently stepped up very close to him in an attempt to also see what had caused him such alarm. She turned her head this way and that trying to make out whatever he was studying but gave it up. 

“What do you see,” she finally asked.

Not anticipating her voice to be so near to his person, Snape jumped slightly and swore loudly.

“Fuck, Granger! Take a step back from me if you don’t mind, there are a few pages in that Ministry handbook about violating personal space that you ought to revisit because you seem to be incapable of grasping the very core concept,” He said, arching an eyebrow at her as he did. He glanced around to ensure no Aurors or anyone else were nearby before continuing “There seems to be residual Dark magic from Dolohov up there in the tree. There is a spell I want to use that will permit us to see what Dolohov did here in the last 12 hours. However, I need to know you won’t include the spell in your report or tell anyone else about it.”

She took a step back, blushing slightly in embarrassment as she realized he was also referencing her rather undignified performance the day before in their office. Wrinkling her brow in thought, she brought her somewhat puzzled gaze to meet his as she slowly asked, “Why would I not tell others about it or leave it out of my report?”

“Because some may consider it Dark magic simply because it uses blood and a Witch’s circle. Both of which do not automatically mean ill-intentions but that is how the current administration will certainly view it,” He replied, running a hand through his hair as he did. 

Hermione gaped at him, she had never participated in a Witch’s circle, she had only ever read about them in the Restricted section of the Hogwarts library. The Witch’s circle involved the cooperative joining of magic flows between two or magical people, one of which must be a witch. Without a witch’s magic to temper the magical interaction, the spell would fall apart. They were described as dangerous because whoever initiated the circle held the reins to all of the magical power of those in the circle. “Aren’t Witch’s circles illegal and dangerous?”

“They aren’t exactly illegal, merely strongly discouraged by the Ministry,” Snape said evasively, “and they are only dangerous if the one leading them can’t be trusted, which I assure you, I am quite trustworthy.”

Raising an eyebrow at him skeptically, she continued to question him, “is such a spell really necessary? Aren’t there other means we could use?”

“There are no alternatives for the spell I think this requires, we will need to use a Witch’s circle and the vial of Dolohov blood I recently acquired,” He said firmly. 

The witch sighed and rubbed the back of her neck as she said, “Do I even want to know how you got Dolohov’s blood?”

“It’s not the blood of Antonin Dolohov, it is the blood of his half-brother, who by blood, is a Dolohov but he legally doesn’t claim it,” Snape replied with a smirk. 

“So you have a vial of blood from the bastard half brother of Antonin Dolohov. Why didn’t you tell me he had a half brother,” she asked, exasperatedly, “that tidbit of information was not in his file. I read the bloody thing five times.”

Snape had the nerve to shrug nonchalantly at her as he said, “Old spy habits die hard, never share everything you know. I also told you we can’t fully disclose everything to the Ministry. So I didn’t include that information in the file or in the multiple interviews I had to sit through with those blasted Aurors after I was hired.”

“So you didn’t share the fact that you just happen to carry around a vial of magical blood in case the mood strikes and you simply must perform some blood magic,” Hermione said sarcastically, her anger building the more she thought about him keeping information from her.

“Indeed, one should always be prepared to conduct any manner of necessary magic, blood or otherwise,” he replied in kind, digging in his messenger bag for the aforementioned vial.

“Damn it, Snape! You should have at least told me about it!” Hermione ground out between her clenched teeth, her arms snapping up to cross furiously over her chest as she glared at the top of his head.

Meanwhile, the dark wizard triumphantly pulled his hand out of his bag clutching the necessary vial. He looked at his coworker and seemed to fully process what she had been upset about. 

“First of all, I can’t tell you every single bit of information I may know, we simply don’t have the time and I think I would lose my sanity attempting that. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a narcissistic pedant who would enjoy nothing more than lecturing to everyone all the time. If you want a former Death Eater of that variety, I suggest visiting Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban, I hear it is mildly tolerable there this time of year, which is the best it gets.” He said, returning his eyes to the contents of his bag to return them to something resembling order. 

Hermione rolled her eyes at him when he looked away, the man was insufferable. 

“Second, I only recently acquired the blood from him after I convinced a mutual connection to put us in touch. He agreed to it in order to help catch his brother. I didn’t inform you of it because there had been no reason to do so. Third, he only permitted me to have the blood if I vowed to keep my knowledge of his existence a secret from the Aurors,” Snape said, firmly closing his bag and locking eyes with her again. “Now, if you are quite done with your little tantrum over not knowing everything all the time, we can get on with this part of the investigation.”

Burning with more questions than before, Hermione filed her potential queries away as she remembered why they were standing there in the first place. She drew a deep breath and calmly replied, “I was not having a tantrum. I don’t want to argue any more, right now. Let’s move forward, I believe you said something about a Witch’s circle?”

Staring at her for a moment before proceeding, Snape made Hermione feel like an insect under a magnifying glass. It felt as though he was trying to decide if he wanted to let her go or pin her to a board. 

“Very well, let's proceed. The Witch’s circle is an ancient means of melding magical flows, typically viewed as dangerous by the modern magical world due to the amount of power it has the potential to provide whosoever is guiding it.” Snape began, his voice falling into a lecturing tone Hermione was all too familiar with. 

“Yes, I know all of that. And they were outlawed in 1729 by the Minister for Magic at the time, Perseus Parkinson, who had rather negative views on witches overall really.” Hermione said, feeling slightly triumphant. 

Snape arched an eyebrow at her while the rest of his face remained blank. “Not quite, Granger. The law states that witches may no longer lead a Witch’s circle. It says nothing whatsoever about restricting a wizard from doing so.” He said, finally smirking at her somewhat deflated look. 

“Well, now who’s the insufferable know-it-all?” Hermione asked, returning a smirk of her own to her partner. 

He opened his mouth to retort, then closed it firmly and pressed his lips together tightly as he narrowed his eyes at her. She’s got you there, mate.

“Anyway, it is perfectly legal to perform a Witch’s circle provided a wizard leads it.” He stated, ignoring her attempted dig.

While Hermione continued to smirk at her joke, knowing he had not been able to supply a retort had only enhanced her enjoyment of her quip, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a magical artefact. He tapped it with his wand to restore it to the proper size. It was dark grey slate with a small basin in the center and three handles jutting out like spokes. 

“If you are quite done marveling over your own wit, you can wipe that smirk off your face so I can explain how this works,” He said, rather sourly.

Suppressing her amusement to placate the sourpuss in front of her, Hermione forced her face into what she hoped was a neutral expression. _I suppose I should get used to his grumpy attitude if I want to improve his social life with my presence. Maybe I can ask DB how she puts up with him enough to snog him. Oh gods! I just thought of Snape and snogging in the same sentence! Not that I would object to snogging him, grumpy attitude and all._ She felt heat flood her face as she thought about how closely she had been pressed against his body the previous day. 

“Granger! Are you listening to me at all?! Grab the handle pointing towards you and clear your mind!” Snape snapped, “I’ll add the blood to the basin in the middle and chant the necessary incantation once you give the signal that your mind is clear.” 

Giving her head a quick shake, she firmly grasped the handle and mumbled an apology as Snape delicately poured a small amount of blood into the small bowl. He carefully returned the cap to the vial and slipped it into his bag. Grasping his handle, he fixed his gaze on her face, her eyes were closed in concentration as she cleared her mind. 

After several seconds, she opened her eyes and gave him a curt nod, which he returned. Snape began to chant under his breath, almost immediately she felt her magic swirl and begin to funnel into the artefact between her and Snape. His voice grew steadily louder until she could the words he was uttering, “Et abi post vestigia ostende mihi, et abi post vestigia ostende mihi.1.”

As the spell wove their combined magic, the blood slowly vanished from the basin until it was gone. Snape stopped chanting immediately and looked around. Hermione mimicked his behavior, hoping to spot something, what exactly she didn’t know. “What are we looking for precisely?” she asked.

“That spell shows us the activity of Dolohov in this area over the last twelve hours,” He replied, looking in the opposite direction of her as he continued “if you had listened to me earlier, you would already know that.”

Hermione had stopped listening to him again, she was staring directly up into the tree above them. She reached out and tugged on his sleeve, not taking her eyes off of the branch overhead. Snape looked over at her questioningly then threw his head back when he saw where her gaze was directed. 

In the tree above them sat a shadowy, phantom form of Antonin Dolohov. As they watched, he dropped down from the tree, landing silently between them, and began to stalk silently across the yard towards the house. Quickly, Snape tapped the artefact and returned it to his pocket. He then set out across the grass behind the phantom Death Eater, beckoning Hermione to follow him.

* * *

1. Et abi post vestigia ostende mihi   
Google translate said this was “show the footsteps” in Latin


End file.
